Computer, run "Holodeck Thread" simulation

>Computer, run "Holodeck Thread" simulation.

>Disregard safety protocols.

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DS9 is the best Star Trek and ultimate pleb filter.

I could relate to Barclay if only he wasn't actually competent
;_;

Whose job is it to mop up the holodeck after Barclay uses it?

computer 100 self-sealing stem bolts please

>holodeck computer is capable of creating a program that outsmarts Data
>no one ever asks it for advice in life threatening situations

SHUT IT DOWN!

DS9 is the only star trek series I haven't finished. After rewatching TNG for the umpteenth time I tried watching the first season. I was enjoying it but as I continued I felt this deep sadness growing inside. It got so bad that I stopped watching it. You see Star Trek has always been something that I have shared with other people. My parents grew up watching TOS and introduced it to me and my brothers when we were very young, I still remember what the VHS covers looked like. So watching TOS became this thing with my parents.

Then TNG was airing and even after it aired that was "the new thing". My dad was initially hesitant about accepting the new crew but he came around. I loved watching TNG and VOY with my whole family. I have such vivid memories of watching VOY every sunday night while eating dinner. The way the sun was setting and would shine into the living room and then slowly give way to darkness as an episode progressed. The taste of the meals my mother made. That feeling you get when weekend was ending and you would have to wake up for school early the next day.

We have all the movies and series (except DS9 and ENT) on dvd. Then parents split up and everyone goes off to work, study and live somewhere else and its just me here alone.

So I put a hold on watching DS9, I take everyone at their word and assume its very good trek if not the best. And I keep it saved like a bottle of champagne to share it with someone. Maybe a girlfriend, maybe family again someday. I'm not sure. It seems silly to be so emotionally invested in star trek like this but I can't shake it. And I don't really think its that silly when star trek holds such a special place in my heart. I just don't want to watch it alone. Does anyone feel this way?

Computer, load up Celeryman please.

>Computer, generate a lamia village at night
>set the moon phase to full
>disengage safety protocols

computer, run gf simulation

Lt. Cmdr. Reinsford reporting for duty, sir!

*salutes* *single mothers*

>Computer run Pi to 200 million decimal place
>show result in binary

That... is a good point...

Dar-ta

>it outsmarted Data
That program is stuck in a box, shelved, and forgotten.

Eh, wasn't there an episode where He comes back?

Yeah. Both times same result. Put in a box; shelved; forgotten.

>her name is literally "soh-nee-kwah"
its like casting wanted the one with the blackest sounding name

I always found it weird how the holosuites were smaller than the holodecks. You'd think that just by being on a space station they would be large, deluxe versions of the holodecks on starships.

the station was pretty old and built by the cardies who were a few decades behind the great powers of the alpha quadrant (Feds, Klings and Romos)

>no one ever asks it for advice in life threatening situations
Bruh the majority of episodes are resolved by asking the computer something, and then tell it to do exactly what it suggested.

The holosuites were just regular rooms quark installed modular holo emitters in.
Its not like starfleet vessels where there were rooms built with the dedicated purpose of being a holodeck.
Plus why would a ferengi make one big holosuite when he could make two half the size and charge the same amount per hour? Plus once you turn it on the size becomes irrelevant.

>Computer, generate an alternative reality Earth where Hitler wins
>disengage safety protocols

>Computer, generate a universe where I'm not a 27 year old kissless virgin
>Unable to comply with your request ... virgin

>computer generate a thread where user stops shitposting
>sorry does not fit within program perameters

>Computer, initiate Rape Gangs of Turkana IV routine
>Relay holoprojector power to all crew changing their appearance to Tasha Yar
>Disengage safety protocols

>self destruct initiated

For what purpose would the holodeck even have safety protocols that can be disengaged?

>Computer, generate a copy of myself and my girlfriend
>Computer, simulate what would happen if I felt something when she tells me she loves me

>Computer run an hyper-realistic version of reality that couldn't be differentiated from the legit thing
>don't tell me if the simulation really ended till I'm on my deathbed

Why didn't he fuck that Cardassian? Did Miles really enjoys suffering so much that he'd rather be stuck with a bitching botanist?

Making a more "realistic" dangerous simulation maybe? Or it could be useful in an emergency, let's say aliens have raided the ship and they're about to defeat the crew but they manage to trap them in the holodeck, there was an episode where the holodeck malfunctioned and "stored" some crew members in the memory banks, which simply means they were disintegrated.

tldr

i was saving ds9 cuz its gon be good

but now I wont watch it because Sup Forums killed joy for me.

>Computer. Just fuck my shit up.
>disengage safety protocols

*sobs*

>Computer, I need 15 copies of Nicki Minaj of varying races and ethnicities.
>Keep the diet coke coming.

>Computer, run "celery man"

>Disengage clothing protocols

...

came here to post this

Who's this milf?

Is her last name really going to be Reinsford?

NigTrek9 was a boring soap opera with a bunch of unlikeable characters, feminists everywhere, a token nig commander, and way too many space jews.

No thanks.

Fuck that ugly bitch. Single mothers are the primary cause of most of the social ills society suffers from today. They don't deserve to have children.

Also the Defiant is an ugly tugboat

She actually called him, "Datta".
But she should have called him, "Fagga".

>And I keep it saved like a bottle of champagne to share it with someone. Maybe a girlfriend

>computer, analyze doctor crusher's chest area
>ok, now create a spa typical of the early 21st century
>replicate crusher's chest area within the spa, increasing size enough to nearly fill the water
>lastly, please send a cordial holodeck invitation on my behalf to captain picard, thank you computer

nigga, fuck you, fuck ur ugly arse mum, fuck you pencil dick father and fuck you, cunt

Voy or Ent?

Which has the better, more memorable characters with good development? I watched everything else.

Enterprise has more interesting, memorable characters, and far more character development than any other Star Trek series.

The reason trektards hate it is because it isn't gay enough.

...

I know this feel, bro

You've been brainwashed.

Another sad victim of garbage trek addiction.

How very unfortunate for you.

Your parents should have been prosecuted for child abuse.

Thanks, I'll check it out. I was leaning towards Enterprise as well.

Star Trek works best when you don't think too hard about it. A lot of it falls apart under close examination. TNG is still one of my favorite shows though.

Yea it seems unlikely but you never know. I hope all of us make it somehow and in some way. Isn't that what Star Trek is really about? Optimism about the future.

Glad I'm not alone

Better question, why didn't he fuck dis hoe?

What a shit thread

Captain, another shitty Trek thread has formed. Recommend we fire a full spread of photon torpedoes.

Should i just skip Sub Rosa?

this franchise is older than my fucking dad

we should start banning trek threads for shitting up the catalogue

Permission granted Mr. Worf

On my signal

BELAY THAT ORDER, MR. WORF!

This thread deserves to live.

Bottom of the barrel, 90% off discount Jessica Chastain

Mr. Worf! It appears number one has been replaced with his clone, Thomas Riker! Phasers ready to fire on my mark.

Some old, saggy, haggy, smelly whore.
Go for it, granny chaser.

DATA, PICARD'S GOT MEEEEE!!

r8 my taste boys

>Jake and Alexander above Kasidy
>Kai Winn that low

Pretty good besides those two huge blunders.

See:

>Nog higher than Weyoun
>Brunt that high
>Keiko higher than Jadzia
>Keiko not dead last

Fistful of Datas is absolute, unadulterated kino.

fite me.

Kassidy Yates is a terrible character. Literally just there to be Sisko's girlfriend.

>I hope all of us make it somehow and in some way. Isn't that what Star Trek is really about?

No. For the most part, Star Trek is a nothing but a bunch of gay, ham-fisted, preachy pc/sjw bullshit communist propaganda… especially tng, voyager, and ds9.

The only Trek really worth watching is the original tos pilot, "The Cage", and Enterprise.

>there will straight-up be real ass holodecks in every home in our lifetimes

>computer run the scenario in which Gul Dukat did something wrong
>cannot comply with requested parameters

I'm going to holorape so many people mate

She's not as bad as Jake's shit acting though.

Get good and put her up.

Jake's on the bus.

>it's an enterprise goes full nazi episode

>Holodeck
>Holo

it's all a hollow dream and we're living in it.

>God: Computer end program

Bajoran fever: Dukat's fatal flaw

youtu.be/xeDOe0kZDhk

If only...

>Computer, generate an 80-foot tall Scarlett Johannsen with a fetish for BRAHPs.
>Disregard safety protocols.

>unable to comply

Queer as a $3 bill.