I GOT 20 STARVING ORCS OUT THERE AND IF I DON'T DELIVER SOME LEGS TO CATERING, THEN MY ASS IS PIPEWEED! YOU GOT IT...

>I GOT 20 STARVING ORCS OUT THERE AND IF I DON'T DELIVER SOME LEGS TO CATERING, THEN MY ASS IS PIPEWEED! YOU GOT IT, HOTSHOT?

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fucking numale /lit/ rejects

Thanks for sharing.

previous

>My wife and I, we just bought this little cottage on the Gondor coast. Nice and quiet. Got myself a boat too. Yeah, I think retirement's gonna suit me fine.

A tad obvious don't you think?

>Just what do you think you're doing Frodo?
>I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, have some Lembas bread, and think things over.

> and a diet coke

>single ladies starts playing

>yeah that's me, Frodo. I bet you are wondering how two hobbits and a crack head made it all the way into Mordor with just two backpacks of Lembas, some taters, a frying pan and oh...I almost forgot...the Ring of power. Well it all started on my day off from school, the day I decided to play hookie..

Did Grishnakh do anything wrong? He just wanted to feed his boys.

Cannibalism is frowned upon in most societies.

> Sauron sends his regards

>This is going to hurt ... A LOT

>jimmy hendrix starts playing
>'there must be some kind of way out of here....says the joker to the thiev...'

>Who told you to put meat back on the menu? Why wasn't I informed? 15 years I've been running the maggoty bread program, who the fuck are you?

>I have no memory of this bridge.

>your replacement. Nothing personal, gramps.

>Back From The Dead Middle Earth Tour

>now throw your ring to the fire

>This is an oldie... well, this is an oldie where I come from

>what now, gandalf?
>Uhh... time for plan B?
>What's plan B?
>RUUUUUNNNNNNNN!

>*Balrog appears*
>'I'm getting too old for this shit'

>"You and what army?"
>"This army!"
>army appears

>Not FLYYYYYY

>Gandalf told me I have aids

>Count Grishnakh is Part of Menuposting
This is... huh... wow

>"look out for the lightning!"
>"what lightni-oh shiiiiit"
>car tumbles down the misty mountains with everyone screaming, landing at the bottom in a dented car

>*frodo looks behind*
>uh, arwen
>what is it frodo
>WE'VE GOT COMPANY!

>I AM THE FELLOWSHIP

>On the count of three okay?
>Ready? One... Two...
>Wait wait wait... Do we do it on three or, one, two, three... then do it?

This got me

>Don't you die on me Boromir. You hear me? Don't you die on me!

>Aragorn, I'm a mess
>Don't worry Boromir, they'll fix you. They fix everything.

>nazgul flies in
>merry and pippin look up and then at each other

HERE WE GO AGAAAIN

This thread sucks

GONDOR
O
N
D
O
R

>lotr threads are 9/10 usually great with funny posts and general good nature attitudes
>seriously some of the best threads on this autistic as fuck board
>seriously the reason some anons still even come here
>"they suck"
Wew, lad

>Come on, man! You're only a few days from retirement! Think about the yacht, think of your son, Goromir, think of your wife Suzy, please, stay with me man

>YOU FOOL! NO MAN CAN KILL ME
>I AM NO MAN

...

eh

Well this isnt' a lorefag thread so this one sucks

kek'd

Doesn't matter, still better than 99.9 percent of garbage on here

Why did Sauron deliberately weaken himself by forging his malice into the ring?

I don't get it

>Less smelly shit is better than smelly shit
It is all shit, this is Sup Forums

It acts as sort of a power conduit. So Sauron himself is immensely powerful, now picture that he builds and instrument that outwardly produces and channels more than half if his essence. Now picture how that enhances his base stats. It sounds autistic, but it is.

kek

This shit is funny, void of Sup Forums and light hearted. Sorry that triggers you. I am sure there is a blacked or bait thread somewhere

* also, more to the point, the One Ring was a long game strat to take over all the rings. So its chief function was to dominate other rings not explicitly make him stronger

The line is cheesier as is than pretty much anything you could put in its place

But why forge it into a Ring of Power?

It seems a little ill-thought out in retrospect.

It is in the books...

Just because Sup Forums spreads its cancer to Sup Forums and other parts of Sup Forums doesn't mean this place wasn't shit before hand.

To dominate the dozen or so other magic rings.

Nomin? I always thought her name was Eowyn.

That is true, though also in the books it is explained why the sword kills him, while in the movie the implication is that her vagina is what gives her the power to kill him
>or so I've been told

But it's purpose is ultimately flawed if you can't dominate all 12 rings. Didn't the elven rings get hidden away or something?

Then stop bitching and go away?

Naw your thread is shit :^)

The One Ring can sense other rings I think and subdue them gradually. Why do you think the elves fuck off?

Because in the west lies Valinor.

Thanks for wasting your own time to tell me that. You sure showed me

Because their power is gone.

>yeah that's me about to fall ass first into a giant pool of smoldering hot lava. Safe to say that I've made a few regretful decisions throughout life. What were they? Well, it's a long story.

Who cares mate? Can we get back to memes?

>expected this thread to be about lotr economy memes
>well thought out, well written, funny memes
>it's actually just reddit acting like what they think meming on Sup Forums is like

>*the river's water settles*
>*frodo pipes up*
>yeah, y-you better run! we sure showed them, huh?
>*arwen rolls her eyes*

this thread still got it

Who is watching right now?

Apparently someone cared because they asked. Some cunt is shitting up the thread with his pent up rage because he can't get laid and it's making the thread no fun, but hey that's the way it goes.
>LOOKS LIKE MEMES ARE BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

>After all these years
>Finally
>I've become The Lord of the Rings

This post was made about two minutes ago and I still think it's criminally under-rated

>we'll be fine as long as they don't have an army of giant elephants
>they're right behind me aren't they?

>Bring it on. BITCH

nice

R8 my shoop

>whoa, whoa whoa.
>you ever look at yourself and think, "how the hell did I get here?"

>How could this get any worse?
>Well at least they don't have an army of giant elephants
...
>YOU HAD TO SAY IT

This is all ironic right? Do you guys actually think this is funny? It's some serious 9gag tier shit

You know, over a decade later and this shit still looks fucking great.
>The panning shot down where you can see all the orcs running opposite direction of the Elophants
>the last shot before the horses crash into the main Elophant
>the tension builds as the camera zooms.
FUCKING SHIT THIS WAS A GREAT SEQUENCE

>two weeks from retirement

Someone needs to make a dub of lotr with this

>2 weeks from retirement

>a dub full of whispers, low breathing, mumbling and autistic "for you" or "two days from retirement teehee" jokes
>for 11 hours
No thanks.

A catering business?
In this tax climate?

>So that's it huh, we some kinda fellowship squad

>We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.

>we need to maintain standards on this board that has spent 5 years talking about a menaingless scene from a capeshit movie

I was having a really shitty night until i saw this thread. Thanks LOTR bros

>WE WUZ NUMENOREANS

I love how subtly racist this movie is. Its refreshing. You can only get reality through fantasy in these times of social-engineered mass-delusions.

My posts are ironically unironic. Get on my level pleb
>Get killed in replies for making dumb memes
>Just two days from retirement

>Why we can't we use the ring against Sauron?
>You just don't get it, do you?

wrong board, kiddo. Enjoy the only (you) you will get.

he has a point

>Nobody's ever just walked into mordor before
>That's why it's going to work

>It's quiet.....a little too quiet

That's the face of a man who doesn't want the job of being king to some backwater kingdom with no elven cunny to polish your broadsword at night.
>Fuck you Gandalf. I didn't sign up for this.