Mfw my fetish is scat

>mfw my fetish is scat
>mfw i almost solely masturbate to scenes from shitty american comedy movies and tv-series involving women taking supermassive dumps
Thank you america for having such terrible humor

Other urls found in this thread:

a.co/dAGkb5v
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Thank you, I want to put my head on that huge ass.

scat is a shitty fetish to have.

yeah grannies are hot

i see what you did there

Nasty europeans

BRAAAAAAAAAAAP

Damn, granny look like that? She can sit on my face while she knits sweaters for Christmas hell yeah

Do you also beat your meat to pictures of women sharting in walmart?

>>mfw my fetish is scat
Do you mean fucking the shit-filled asshole or smearing shit and like that? The latter doesn't seem hot.

>Russians find fucking shit filled assholes hot
is that why aids is so common there?

Just women shitting
I dont like seeing it being smeared

Patrician taste.

Why do Germanics have scat fetish?

T.Low test fgt

>continental European mocking us for scatological humor

what

fetishes are weird as fuck, I began with squirt, then it moved to pee ( I still don't know if they're the same thing ), from pee to spit, then to shit, then to scat and smear, and then I felt so depraved that not even scat was doing it for me any more. I thought it was it, I was never going to be able to get an erection seeing porn again because not even the most fucked up things could get me hard but, out of the blue, I visited PornHub ( I didn't use to go there because the porn is too light ) and I found my new fetish, good old straight normal porn, I went all the way around that normal porn became my new fetish

I unironically wish Denmark was used a nuclear bomb testing site

I'm guessing the shelf toilets, combined with a general culture of self-deprecation.

So do you just enjoy regular porn or is it the fact that it's so normal and boring the part that you enjoy?

>tfw cant get free from shemale fetish

brehs I

I liked scat because it was "anormal" it was different and I was doing something new, but I got so used to it that it didn't do it for me, but it had been so long since I watched regular porn that when I saw it again it was just as different for me now as scat was years ago

How?
I have never done anything butt related with my gf. The closest I get to her asshole is I may run my fingers over it when I'm feeling up her ass.
It stinks, and smells really bother me. Even pussy makes me gag when I eat it out.

People who are okay with the ass and shit and it's smells have a mental disorder.

Pic related.

Good luck ever getting an erection during actual sex. Pray you never have to lose your virginity

Probably could've just take a little brake from jacking off when you started getting into weird shit in the first place

Your gf needs to practice better hygiene.

Your gf is just a gross bitch

I know. How the fuck do you bring that up without offending her or making her mad at me

nah, weird shit was nice, I got into it long before I started having sex so stop jacking off wasn't an option

my scat fetish came from watching that scene in johnny bravo where he is crushed under a fat woman's ass
it made me obsessed with women's butts and that started as giant women fat women farting on men and then moved on to my current scat fetish

>wutthefuckamireading.jpg

BRRRAAAAPP pfffpprrrtt
Indeed

Were you close with your mother?

>tfw fucking love scat porn and have an intense scat fetish
>have no way of finding a girl to let me play with her shit and poo

It fucking sucks man.
The only way around this I have found, is to eat for entire week like I am a girl, and then on Sunday eat my shit and pretend it belongs to a sexy girl I have been sharing the house with

I roleplay like this 1 week a month. Last week for example I pretended to be dating a girl who was into fitness so I ate protein shakes, peanut butter, and dark chocolate (girls love chocolate) all week. Then I ate my shit on Sunday and masturbated to pictures of in shape girls, pretending it was their shit.

I am so lonely brehs.

WHAT THE FUCK

whew lad
this is a other level of sad you have there

you won't make it brah

Damn I want her to smother my face with that sweaty, stinky ass.

I knew brits eat shit but this is new

Does pineapple make shit sweet?

Routinely sleep in the nude, and suggest that your gf does the same. (It really is a lot more comfortable.) This way, you'll both want your assholes to be nice and clean before getting in bed, so as to avoid dirtying the sheets.

What I suggest is that you yourself practice a meticulous anal cleansing routine, so that you can act as a good example and offer concrete advice to your gf. For example, this is what works for me: After shitting at home (and first wiping quite thoroughly), try getting in the habit of parking your ass over the edge of the bathtub and thoroughly washing your asshole, using a dab of liquid soap. Clean the inside of your anus up to the 1st knuckle. This way, you will become accustomed to having a nicely clean asshole. (Having to shit in a toilet with only toilet paper available will make you cringe at the relative decrease in hygiene. Woe is the USA in this regard.)

If that doesn't work, maybe try getting one of those bidet attachments, such as: a.co/dAGkb5v
Use it yourself and extol to your gf how great it is to have a squeaky clean asshole at all time.

If she still has poor anal hygiene, then you're going to need to talk to her about the issue directly.

As for her pussy smell: well, you should know that vulvas have a certain aroma, and you really just need to get used to it. If it's especially pungent over a long period of time (thus excluding acute bacterial/yeast infections), it could be because she practices poor vulvar hygiene, considering her poor anal hygiene. Really, all that's needed is to gently wash with water, making sure to get into the delicate folds. Just as the male foreskin can accumulate smegma if not cleaned, so too can the vulva. If she takes such poor care of her pussy that she cultivates that kind of spunk, then you need to have a serious fucking conversation.

If at this last straw she doesn't change her ways to accommodate your reasonable standards, then you need to leave her and find a better gf.

Why does this board have so many shit enthusiasts?

You need to tell your girl to clean her nasty ass pussy my dude.

date a girl with IBS/Crohns

Would this turn you on? 1/2

...

This is how someone gets lifelong intimacy issues.
Hopefully that blob gets sued for assault/battery and psychological distress.

>scat
>high test
lol no.

>bongs

You can and should see a psychiatrist about the whole thing. They can help you reprogram your corrupted brain so that you can live a normal life.

There is hope.

Try being a manlet with size domination fetish.
>WHERE YOU DOMINATES

That's not too bad. Just get into a D/s relationship and be the dom.

I would have to fuck a dwarf to satisfy myself.But they are so deformed

>not being a pedo
It's like you like being the faggot

>>not being a pedo
>Being a disgusting pedo
>Not having the pleasure of dominating a full adult human being with independence and pride that will be crused be you.
>go to jail

>leave her and find a better gf

Nope. I'm 100% sure I'll be marrying her one day, sooner rather than later.

Your case is pretty severe, Danskjävel. I prescribe nofap for 2 months with intense meditation throughout, if the urges come back you know how to find me.

that's fucking gross my man

You need to take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that some of the things you fantasize about are impossible in reality. And that's okay. Tell yourself that it's okay. Keep telling yourself that, and make yourself believe it.

We can imagine all sorts of fantastical things, such as the universe of the Lord of the Rings or any other fantasy universe, and we can yearn to travel to those worlds, Alas, such a thing is impossible in reality. And yet one can be satisfied with such a fate: although some of our dreams must remain only dreams, we can still be happy with having thought about them. For a brief moment, the dream is real, at least in our imaginations.

And so you must be happy with your fantasy. Although it cannot come true, you can still be happy having enacted it in the inner world of your mind.

You can take it further by making your fantasy a partial reality through role-playing. Find yourself a smol submissive partner who's into trying new things and act out your fantasy. It won't be exactly as you imagine it, but you can still be happy with what you've got.

You can be happy and fulfilled. Just imagine.

My bbw fetish and facesitting fetish both came from the scene in Dodgeball where the fat cheerleader landed on that kid's head. Also the scene in Billy and Mandy where the kid gets turned into a chair and the witch sits on it.

It's all the Leaf and Ozy posting, it has affected more than just the quality of this board.

This is not okay.And I won't live like this.
I'm going for it,

name?

>liking flappy and high mileage old hags
>not being the disgusting one
choose wisely

Imtf, I'm a 185 cm lanket with a fetish for being dominated.

source?

Let's switch bodies?
Go back to fapping to your endless anime lolis images.

>anime lolis
pffft AHAHAHAAHAAHA I only fap to 3D lolis matey

No problem senpai

...

That fooken chin

You'd marry her even if she fails to maintain even basic hygiene?

You need to stick up for yourself a little more.

shitty thread

well, still think "humanity" is worth defending?