Hey Sup Forums

hey Sup Forums
been a while
only friend that i have ever felt has cared about me has now confirmed that they have moved on and do not care anywhere like they used to.
Kinda feel like not being here anymore.
How is your night going?
Feels bar open now.

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Nights going alright, you want to talk about anything in particular?

Bump for feels

I am okay right now man. Typing some stuff out currently. Just tired of not being enough for anyone including myself.

What do you mean, enough?

I miss my friends in college and highschool. But we dont even talk that much anymore. It makes me wonder if we were ever friends to begin with.

Ive never been enough to keep people around in my life. There have been a couple people that have stuck around, but I know that it is entirely because I was a convenience to have around. Hell at this point I cant even find pride in the things that I am doing. objectively, I am at the best point of my life, but i have never felt so empty and hollow.

Can you think of any particular reason they left you?

It might just be the people you allow to befriend you. If you’re a loner than you are more exploitable than socialites

sorry to hear that
does it seem like they never cared? was there a catalyst for the change in their feelings about you?
as for me, I'm just ok. finally got paid from my first job in months so that kinda helped give me some motivation. looking to go back to school because I'm tired of how I'm living

I have always known that. But when you feel like you have found the one person that you can truly connect to, and they say the same about you, but then after 6 years of this, they have found someone that they feel they connect to more and drop you for no reason, it punches you in the gut harder than any heavyweight ever could

Happy to hear that man. They seemed to have cared for a long time. But then within the span of a couple weeks, they couldnt seem to care less. Do you know what you want to go into if you went back to school?

It might just have been burnout, if you don’t satisfy the person than they are prone to leave.

Even if that is the case, Im just in a ton of pain from it. It kills me knowing that even after all of this time, I couldnt even keep one friend through schooling and such\

thank you. I've been down for a long time, time to start living.
that's really odd, maybe it has more to do with something going on in their life? someone I was very close to did that to me in just one day when he decided he didn't want to pay me for work i did with him, people are weird
I'm really not sure though, part of the reason I never went back. I've been thinking that helping people really makes me happy so I'm trying to figure out the best way I could do that

>people talking about gf problems all the time
>cant even get normal friends to have problems with

Kick ass man. Happy to hear that someone is crawling out of their rut.
As far as what is going on in their life, I have tried to talk to them about it, but they dodge questions and give half answers. Not too sure what to do when that is the case. Is it even worth trying to salvage a friendship at this point?

I understand but I think you need to revaluate yourself and improve

thank you I really appreciate that :) it's tough as I'm sure you know but we all have it in us, but it's easy to regress and let depression take hold
I guess I'd say don't pry and let them have their space. the best you can do is asking like you have and maybe just let them know that they really did mean a lot to you and you hope they're well
you can only do so much, as the saying goes if you love something let it go

I have been trying to do that for the past 20 years. I have tried changing who I am to people and every single time, I end up being a last option for them. Never once have I felt like a priority to anyone, even though I have been willing to put anyone's problems in front of my own. How can I improve when the best I can give to anyone isnt even enough

Thank you man. I want to let them have their space, but this isnt the first time i have done this with them. I feel like they are just using me when it is most convenient andf then throwing me to the dogs when I am no longer needed.

Also Checkem

Try being less submissive to other's needs, they will see you as a more stable person and not some throw-away loner

Okay. That isnt a bad idea. Any tips on how to have that self worth?

fuck I can relate to that. that's exactly what I realized about my "friend"
I never asked for shit but I'd always do anything I could to help him
it sounds like you're too nice and want to believe others are as good natured as you are when most of them aren't
not sure if that is accurate but I'm realizing that about myself
I think giving them their space is your best bet, and if they ever come back into your life just look at the context of it and analyze whether they are just using you again

Have your own interests and affirm them, you will find people who will respect those interests and will befriend you as an equal

My mom always said i had too big of a heart.
I just want the best for the people around me that matter to me. It kills me when I see them destroying something that they worked hard on even though they know better. or that they are letting something they really care about go when they could very easily fix the problem.

Get good in those interests and you might have an authoritative stand over others

Thank you. I will keep that in mind. I used to be assertive and dominant in my own way like that, but that just drove the people i cared about away too. I have started to think that maybe I am just someone that doesnt belong with others in my life. That I am more of a burden or complication to others.

>Have your own interests and affirm them, you will find people who will respect those interests and will befriend you as an equal
that doesnt seem to work for me.

I can relate
people will take advantage of your kindness and generosity
don't let that make you cold but keep your guard up and be selective of who you let into your life
you're a good person, keep doing good. the people worth your time will see that and eventually you will have some good ones in your life
nothing wrong with being by yourself though, i know it's corny but it builds character

thank you.
I think i am just tired of being alone. Ever since I can remember, I have not been anyone's first choice of person to even just hang out with, and so because of that, I dont want to try anymore

Be careful with that idea, overt domination is as bad as total submission. Respect the belief of others but have trust in your own

What are your interests? If it’s something incredibly niche than that idea rarely works out

it sucks. I've always had a couple friends but never stayed friends with them. I only have 3 friends I actually talk to now and they're all living very far away from me so I spend a lot of time alone
never felt lonely until lately though, I really fucking miss my ex so that adds to it
for what it's worth, you shouldnt have to try for anyone. know your worth and realize that if someone doesn't like you it's not your problem

its so hard to not try with people
I want the best for the people around me
I have to stop wanting that if i want to get better about this

it's easier to help others than to help yourself
don't be selfish but focus on yourself
I think it's a bit self destructive to always put others before yourself
you need balance. have you ever talked with a therapist?

I have spoken with therapists before, but i can never bring myself to bring up anything that actually matters
I used to take meds, but they never did anything.

you have to find the right person to talk to for sure. I halfway believe this kind of thread is a form of therapy but none of us are professionals
maybe try again? I've talked to 4 before my current therapist and he is the only one I feel comfortable opening up to and it's helped me a lot
I've never tried meds because I believe they just treat symptoms of a much deeper problem but I also drink a lot of alcohol so that's pretty hypocritical to say

I recently stopped smoking pot because of that same reason. It is a bandage on something that needs a whole lot more. I just cant find anyone here. Smaller town here so it is a little hard. Maybe I can try out of town.

If this is not a troll, I share your feels. Been there.

Of you need to talk I'll hang out for a bit

The girl of my dreams was stolen away from me. Hopefully I will get to have her some day

If she did not want to fight for you, she is not worth it. Hold your head high and find someone better.

yeah I smoked for a long time too, recently quit and don't miss it at all. alcohol is hard to quit though but honestly I've had issues with multiple substances, it's not the drug it's the reason you want to escape. good for you though, weed really doesn't help most people
ah that can definitely be a problem. have you ever thought about getting out of there for good?

Not a troll friend.
I appreciate it, though i do not feel like retyping the stuff that I have already typed. If you would like to catch up, the first post of mine after original is

Tough but to crack for sure. I've been there, but my way of dealing with it is basically to just embrace it. I sorta just focused on changing what made me happy. Being alone began to kick ass.

I didnt live alone at all until my wife left and I moved out of the apartment we shared with my wife.

On the friends front, I sorta have always been everyone's extra friend. I don't think I've ever had a real "best friend". Certainly not their best friend for sure. Mayyybe "one of their best" cuz I have had some really nice loving friends before.

But if I were to ever open up fully to any single human, they would never be my friend.

this isnt the first place that i have lived. been through all of the therapists that i was even slightly comfortable enough to have gone to one place with. dont have the money to move and as I stated above, I have a good thing starting to go here, but if i want to finish it, I need to be here for like two more years.

Waited 9 years to marry the second girl I fell in love with at school. We dated for a month in highschool when she dumped me on my birthday.

9 years later she shows up back in my life pregnant and very lonely. I married her a year later after a 7 month engagement.

Then left me after 5 months. And already had her second child on the way 4 or so months later.

I appreciate the advice man.
Good to know that someone has been through similar things and has actually made it through. Almost wanted to an hero a few times by now. Tonight has been rough.

Thats rough man, but you are strong for having carried on.
Keep your head up and push forward in your life. Kick ass in all you do.

do you feel as though you have a hard time letting your guard down with therapists?
I get you though moving is not always viable but could be a good goal. well if you think it's worth it you may want to just tough it out. only you know what's best for you

I'm caught up thus far. Didn't realize how old the thread had gotten. Just saw a bro reaching out and didn't waste time reading before I replied.

I've posted a few, "what I've gone through" replies but I'm not trying to claim or compare. Just here chilling and understanding alot of these feels.

Always. Every time i have opened up to someone, they have left. I know that since i am giving the therapist money, they kinda cant, but i also dont want to end up in the hospital because i said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I hope to move to Boston someday. Not sure why, but I have always loved that city. Never even been there.

Same thing here man. Me and this hawaiian chick really fucking loved each other. Then a few months of talking, being generally wholesome she just said that she didnt love me anymore. This was abt 3-4 weeks ago and Im still hurting. I LOVE loved her man

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Sometimes, the only things that someone needs is someone that is willing to listen. Even if it is a stranger that will never be spoken to again. I appreciate the effort of reaching out man. It means more than you know.

The only cure for pain is time my friend. keep your head up and keep moving. You will achieve great things in your life.

that's understandable, and I get your point about them being paid so they're obligated
but some of them actually want to help and really all you have to avoid is saying that you want to harm anyone including yourself
well that's good you have a goal. maybe try to make it realistic and actually set goals around that to make progress. stagnancy breeds misery

An hero is never the answer, but I think you know that deep down.

It's definitely plagued me many times, that desire to be in a different state so strong that ... Ending it to see what happens next called to me.

It's one reason why I don't drive or own a car anymore. Most people jsut think I don't like driving. But it was how I was going to end it more than once, for almost no reason other than it being better than being stuck in traffic (almost certainly was simply highlighting how "stuck" I felt in the rest of my life).

Now I ride the bus and train.

It still came back when I was suffering the lost of my wife tho.

Biggest thing I can say is don't feel ashamed of how you feel or thoughts you have. Accepting that they exist or have happened is a healthy start to dealing with them.

Don't dwell on them, but don't get mad at yourself or blame yourself. It's okay to feel sucky.

Life is always ups and downs. It's just about shortening the time in the valley or learning how to enjoy it anyway.

Me I've just become content. Being broke and alone can't change how I've chosen to feel, I've chosen to be Happy and Content with any situation. It's comes with the flaw of Apathy however.

Alright I'll explain the whole situation. So we're both freshmen in college, and a while ago we happened to talk about relationships and she says she doesn't wanna be in one for a while. I figured I'd be safe and wait for valentine's day where I devised a plan. I knew I didn't wanna do it now because it's finals period and who starts a relationship during finals period. January seems like it's too early in the semester, so Valentine's day seemed to be the best. But someone asked her out recently, and she said yes... Maybe I'll get my chance soon. No one cares about me like this girl does. She's one of the sweetest, nicest people I've ever had the pleasure of being in the presence of

Appreciate the sentiment. I'm not sad or sorry for what has happened. I know the next chapter will be better. If it's worse the story is going to be effing legendary.

Hard to top a wife asking you on your honeymoon "is it okay if I send nudes to my cousin? he's wanted to see them for a long time." Dude had a large dick and a nice key board tho.

"More than you know" maybe, but I know how much it has meant to me in the past, and it's much easier for me to process others emotions than my own. So I get it.

If you need to stay in touch I'm willing (but extremely cautiously) to figure out how to do so. If anything make a post with a specific title and I'd be right back in here (I don't browse as much as some tho, so that would be a long shot most of the time)

Thanks man. Sup Forums can be really nice sometimes

Thank both of you for all of the things you have said. It is pretty late where I am now. I am going to go to bed now. If anyone else comes through with some kind of problem, I hope that someone will be able to even just speak to them as you have with me. I may never speak to you or anyone in this thread again, but again, thank you for everything that you have done tonight.

More than likely i want to try to do this feels bar type things every now and then. gonna try for at least once a week. If you see it, it may be me.

it's all love :)
I can relate to you and I'm happy that even one thing I said could help you in some way because I'd hope someone would do the same for me
it will get better. you're a good person and good will come to you
sleep well user

the only way we can make it through hell, is together.
this life is too precious of one to let our fellow man fall to the wayside due to apathy

thank you very much my friend. may good fortune and a good life come to you.

I don't want to twist a knife, but I'm worried you might be making the same mistakes I have concerning crossing some signals.

But as a guy who totally gets the long wait for it style of game.. I proposed to a girl in second grade (yes really) and didn't stop hoping and waiting ((not entirely faithfully)) for her until I was 24 and about to be married.

Copy. Sleep well. I'm certainly willing to be you bro.

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It really sucks because back in high school, I waited two years for a girl to break up with her shitty boyfriend. He finally did in my senior year, her junior year. Best 8 months of my life. Unfortunately, I was going far away for college, and I decided I shouldn't keep starving for love because I wanted to keep her mine. So I let her go. Point is, amazing things have come to me by waiting