roastie whores edition
/brit/
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Britain CRIES out for socialism
who will kick the ball better, my team or yours? obviously my team
the rorke fears the future
>her
not worth it
as it happens I am glaswegian so scottish accents are no problem
ultra-thick irish accents can be hard
same with really thick indian accents but there are a tonne of pakis in glasgow as well so they're not too bad
worst accent to hear when the call starts is thick 'london multicultural english' (when you can tell the person is Caribbean), doubly so if it's a woman. They are all cunts, every one who phones up.
just ignore the man behind the curtain
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No MY team
leftypol already spamming our thread with politics one post in
I don't know about you lads but I'm fucking sick of it
>leftypol getting their OPs from reddit
lmao
your team is literally shit, my team is the best
sue
Ah relax, it's not that bad.
fucking love christmas me
All me
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bore off you leftypol cretin
learn to talk about more than one topic
I know your tiny brains can't handle it but just try for once
My team is the best cuz they're from [city]
Theory: this is the same person
youve been complaining since 2pm this afternoon mate.
so it's near Lincoln? I know a girl from Lincoln and she is slutty as fuck
why are northerners so slutty?
How long does it take before a new /brit/ thread has to made?
>have to submit a year-end review
work in a call centre on £17k for fuck's sake why do they torture us so
so fuck off spamming our thread then and I'll stop
>roastie whores edition
that's rorke terminology hun
>incel
debatably as bad as if not worse than rorkes
see
rate the ramus
Alright thanks
northern men exude more testosterone which makes them hornier
youtube.com
greatest song I've heard in my life
FUCK OFF LEFTYPOL
r/incels was a lolcow farm for safe-edgy white knights
nobody sane went there unironically, not even the rorkiest rorke
there is no such thing as leftypol
toil looms
>he's on 17k/yr
>FUCK OFF LEFTYPOL
britain cries out for a soft brexit
You lads watching strictly?
leftypol spamming the thread again talking about their rorke boogeymen again
just fucking bore off you twats
Oh shit, it's happening again.
did you see what i done
So one day I was walking down the fucking street when I saw a fucking dog licking its fucking ass. "Fuck this", I thought to my fucking self. I started to turn the fuck around but the goddamm motherfucking dog started running towards me. Next thing I know, the fucking piece of shit bit me. Fucking cried that day.
nah snooker on mute, music on and primarily focused on shitposting
>make £36k/year
>work 1 hour a day
>live up north
>work is location independent
pretty much living the dream tbqh
britain cries out for more jewish immigration preferably only women
>Be me, proper British lad!
>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting
>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work
>open the door
>yell hullo to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre
>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)
>put up my feet on the IKEA table
>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty
>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals
>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work
>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '18 on the PS4 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha
>Lives in a mortgaged 2 bedroom house several miles outside the ring road of a major city in Essex
>Successful and ambitious, but only within a very limited set of horizons (working in a high street bank, estate agent, etc.)
>Very proud of his middling success and jumps to put down others for their perceived failures
1/2
>>live up north
so close
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Pics
>there is no such thing as leftypol
>>work is location independent
Working from home is it?
i was looking at the income tax rates in Britain last night. Had great dreams about the queen stealing like 45% of your money
/brit/ is a Leftypol general
Deal with it rorke
We run this general
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>Did 2 seasons as a rep out in Ibiza
>Drives an Audi which he got on finance from his job, gf drives a fiat 500
>Shops at Sainsbury's, which he considers upmarket. Special occasions merit a trip to Marks and Spencer
>Only books in the house are cookery books, mostly limited to Jamie Oliver. A couple of Gordon Ramsay books for special occasions
>Wears polyester suits to nightclubs
>Has an extreme short back and sides haircut
>Favourite place to treat his bird is at the top of the shard
>Uses hair products
>Favourite restaurant is Wagamama's
>Has a study which he often refers to as a 'man cave'
>Has a matching sofa set
>Owns a games console
>Owns a set of champagne flutes
>Has a pug/french bulldog
>Once considered buying a motorised tie rack
>Eats turkey at Christmas
>Watches ITV and has a Sky subscription
>Calls his parents 'mum and dad'
>Depending on his generation, he either went to the 'university of life', or read a memi subject at a plate glass/ex-poly.
>Isn't an Oxbridge reject because he didn't even apply for Oxbridge
>Has Bradley Walsh reaction images saved on his hard drive
>Spends his summer holidays in Spain, nabbing up a tidy deal online for a 3* all inclusive hotel in Menorca, flights included for £550 pp
2/2
Nah I think he meets his clients on location. Like a public toilet.
leftypol have no other argument but to quote our posts and post their childish pictures. it's just sad at his point.
fuck off rorke this is our thread
got kicked out the leftybrit discord again lads
had a bit too many dark fruits aha
unironically wish they still made baked bean pizza
/brit/ stats
Number of regular posters: 50
Time duration average /brit/ thread: 30min
Number of /brit/ threads made daily: 20
i hope to be this alpha one day
youtu.be
not
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Jeremy Corbyn
(Curb your enthuasism exit theme starts playing)
Just got home from my £24k pa job as a consultant at a semi-decent recruitment firm in the city. Pulled up to my part-share 3 bedroom Barratt house in my Volkswagen golf gti. About to put my feet up and watch Netflix with the girlfriend on my wall mounted plasma Tele whilst eating a ready meal from Waitrose, after that i might do a cheeky watch of the footie whilst she's away running a bath.
I wonder if arsenal will infact beat man u? After all i did put a cheeky lay bet on at work with the lads. Speaking of the lads, i wonder if we'll go for drinks down at 'revs this week? Last time it was banterous with "Pitcher" Pete from sales slapping that waitresses arse and getting kicked out of the club, haha, we ended up in the kebaby chatting shit about looney politicians, haha.
I'll just check my bank account on my iWatch to see if i can finance this weeks "shenanigans", ah! of course, i'm overdrawn, best ask the gf again see if she can transfer at least £800 from her beauty therapy pay packet. I'll make up for it by doing a facebook post with a pic of me and her saying how much i am grateful to have her, If not i could always put a claim in at the ole bank of mum and dad, haha.
3/2
Honestly lads, how does Deano find the time?
He somehow finds time to fit:
>Having a decently paid job
>Going on dinner dates with the missus
>Planning holidays to Magaluf and Amsterdam with the lads
>Taking his tiny fluffy dog on walks
>Playing Fifa and COD
>Going to the gym
>Shopping for new clothes from Topman
>Updating his Instagram
>Livetweeting the footie match
>Posting snapchat stories
>Watching all the ITV reality shows
>Rewatching his Prison Break boxset and the Wolf of Wall Street
>Listen to the latest Tom Odell, Bruno Mars, Sam Smith, Jay-Z and Justin Bieber
>Going on pub crawls and having snooker games with the boys
all into his busy weekly routine
don't know how he handles it
We're fashlads actually
why don't girls want me
just fuck off you're a fucking bore now
you've been shitting up the threads for months and we're sick of it
Who's the /brit/ approved candidate
>the so called scran
What's this? A menu item, or a kebab emptied out on a box of chips and chicken?
>yes deano it's andrew
>yeah i'm good mate you?
>yeah nice one
>just bloody got fired from the apprentice didn't I
>banter was poor in that house lad
>listen i'll ding robbo and sambo we'll go for some jars at spoons
>yeah nice one lad
>top
thats utter bollocks
if the thread lasted 30 minutes we would have 48 a day, not 20
the yank mind can never truly comprehend what a deano is
they can read the characteristics ITT but to them it is like reading a description of a beautiful painting without ever being able to see it
>cheap
>white
>countryside
>safe
>good schools
don't know what else you could ask for tbqh
all done through the interwebz
people will pretend this is grim but they know fine well its peng as fuck
can you imagine the level of pleb one would need to be in order to purchase and consume this. can you even imagine? almost certainly obese and scottish.
Hahaha
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these two have sex
youtube.com
They can smell the gypsy blood in your lineage
few years ago some /brit/ threads lasted 10 minutes. Peak hours
we have more deanos than you
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Toff
Would actually demolish that right now.
>>Eats turkey at Christmas
that's not deano
fuck the tarquin who wrote this
sick banter is a better stimulant than 500mg of caffeine that's why
they seem happy
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been spending most their lives living in a past time paradise
Canny be arsed tae cook hink ahm gonnae order a dominos
Give me some
unironically could be me in 10 years with my (future) Thai wife, except I'll have less hair
are retarded people still retarded in their dreams?
It's getting cold isn't it?