Anyone seen this? Is it really that bad?

Anyone seen this? Is it really that bad?

I seen it and it's pirate kino. Maybe even the best film of 2017... Not sure yet. I haven't seen Boss Baby.

I saw it Last night, Johnny Depp seemed like he was just in it for the money this time, his acting was underwhelming and lines that should of been funny were just off time and didn't land. The rest of the cast were pretty bland lifeless characters, the only good actors in this one were the pirate crew which seemed identical to the other films. Honestly the only time i would watch it again is if its on TV on a Sunday when there is nothing else to do apart from jack off and have it on in the background.

Final review

3/10 - 'meh i could watch whilst scratching my nuts on the sofa.'

It's excellent. 8/10

Imagine being Kaya...

Literally just got back from a showing. I'd rate it 5/10. It's just enjoyable enough to make me call it an actual movie, and Will and Elizabeth's cameos were nice.

The glaring issue is that we're never told why Will is 'cursed' to the Flying Dutchman. I thought was the fucking captain of the ship, now, and got all the cool powers Davy Jones had. I mean, he even controls the ship in the opening.

For that matter, why the fuck doesn't Will Turner help out at all in this movie? It's the biggest issue. He's fucking Davy Jones now, right? Nearly invulnerable super-pirate, he should be helping Jack. Fuck, at the end of the movie, why the fuck couldn't Will have shown up and just jacked the Trident?

I feel like every issue in this movie revolves around the fact that Will Turner does nothing despite being in this movie.

I will pirate it

Imagine impregnating Kaya by shooting loads and loads of your semen directly in her womb, when she's lovingly looking directly into your soul

>menacing pirate ghost approaches a guy in a jail cell
>do you know where jack sparrow is
>i just need to talk to him, real quick
>le goofy face
Fuck modern movies. Fuck em.

>we're never told why Will is 'cursed' to the Flying Dutchman
Because he can't go home to his family and also started growing shit on his face like the previous crew? I agree about him not helping out, I thought he'd be more than a cameo in the beginning and the end of the movie. For example when Henry was "thrown" overboard by Jack's crew I thought the Dutchman would arise and save him.
At least Keira was in it, too, for a moment I thought they forgot about her character and the ending would be awkward because of it.

How did child Henry know where Will's ship would be? Is that a thing from the other movies that I've forgotten? Why didn't Elizabeth help? Also, really cheap of them not have Jack interact with Will or Elizabeth directly

Good rip when?

Better than 4 and 3

SOON TM

I kinda liked it because of how washed up Jack was, really hit home how his time had passed and was going through the motions.

I wanted a fight between Will and the Ghosts, battle of the immortals and it was a complete let down. I still enjoyed the first half a lot, but they really dropped the ball there.

How big a role did will turner and Barbosa have and. How was their acting

Yeah, Pirates of the Carribean is known for it's dead serious dialogues. Fuck the industry!!

Barbossa's death was bullshit, they should have him interacting with the daughter more at the very least

It's a meh movie with 3 or 5 interesting scenes.
I strongly suggest you to only watch it if you have money to spent.

Barbossa was fantastic as usual. He's has several badass moments. He had a big role, especially towards the end. Will was in the opening and closing scenes. He was fine, his voice is a little deeper than it was 10 years ago. I liked him in the first scene where his face is all barnacled up.

Will Turner was in it at the start of the film for a 1 minute scene, then you dont see him again until the very end of the film for about 30 seconds before the credits roll. Barbosa come in about halfway into the move and if mainly in the final quarter of the movie. Honestly i didnt mind the movie just like said, Will is fucking Davy Jones and is immortal and could easily of helped with the quest, but yeah just see him for 3 minutes ish of screen time in this 2 hour + movie

its not for trump voters

I literary just returned

5-6/10

Neither good nor really bad

>Turner
Pops up at the beginning, pops up again at the end
>Barbossa
He's a key character in this one, I think he was good

I think Henry drowned himself so the Dutchman would come. That's why will said "what have you done". But he let's Henry go back or some shit

I thought when Barbossa was falling, the Dutchman would rise up and catch him. Oh well, more of a missed opportunity than an issue with the film

It's the third best Pirates movie. Can't fucking wait for 6.

While I was watching I enjoyed it more than any since the second. About an hour later I was talking to someone and struggled to recall many memorable moments but there weren't any. Also loses points for no decent sword fights.

Was there a retcon in this? I thought Davy Jones' black girlfriend gave Jack the compass? Also did he not lose it a couple of other times?

They went overboard with the quips and magic shit.
The new characters are pretty bad but the classic ones like Gibbs, Jack and Barbossa are decent, as usual.

There is one small bit of kino when they arrive at the island where the Trident is hidden and it lights up in the sunlight, that was beautiful.

All in all, solid flick, but then again it's nothing more than a flick

Solid 7

What I was looking for. Thank you

I really hope 6th movie villain is vanderdecken trying to get back his Dutchman.

Very fun flick, I'd rate 9/10

Besides the timeline/plot/historical aspect not making ANY fucking sense, it's the characters that really bugged me. I love to be pulled into fantasy worlds and I'll totally give in to all the benefits of the doubt, the whole suspension of believe, but when the movie starts breaking it's own rules, I just get more and more butthurt as the movie goes long.

Remember how we're introduced to Jack Sparrow for the first time? It was a fake out. The British guards are all nervous as fuck about pirates running amuck in the towns and then it jump cuts to Jack's glaring face. It was new, and shocking and his crazy black rimmed eyes and cool beads in his hair, but then the camera pulls back really slowly and the idiot is standing on a mast of a sinking ship right as he steps foot onto the docks.

This movie, after 4 movies of Sparrow proving/undoing his image of being a serious pirate and then back to being a retarded manchild, is stuck somewhere in between. After 7 years since the last movie, Jack is introduced being inside an unbreakable iron safe that weighs a ton? Ok, so how did he AND the women not run out of air? Was he so stupid that he somehow managed to draw the women into the tiny space of the safe to have sex in, and lose track of the fact the door was closing behind them? Surely the women would have started to panic and scream so much from hysteria that she would have used up all the oxygen. Lol, just kidding, they were napping! Well thank God they were only in there for 2 minutes right before the bank people opened it, otherwise they would have died.

And this was the first 5 minutes of the movie, and this was when I was thinking, "Oh no..." and then the rest of the three hours happened.

Oh, also, I can pick this movie apart, from the biggest plot holes, to the tiny nitpicks, but the biggest beef I had was with Barbossa and his out of no where "character arc". He is one of the most murderous pirates that controls the seas. He sees a beautiful white women with all her perfect teeth and thick hair, and you're telling me he wasn't constantly thinking about fucking her? Then finds out she's his daughter (oh wow, I'm so mad about this insanely stupid plot point) and he's all of a sudden some chivalrous "You're my treasure" father figure?

Holy shit Reddit, calm down. It's an undead pirate series.

What exactly makes you think there weren't slight spaces along the seam of the safe door and lock that would allow air in?

what the fuck was wrong with Salazar and the way he pronounced "Sparrow"?

He didnt have any problems with other words, just "Sparrouvf"

>What exactly makes you think there weren't slight spaces along the seam of the safe door and lock that would allow air in?

>1800's century
>Safety protocol
>It's literally an iron sealed cube

I'm a history teacher, so little dumb things like that really get my goat. This is why I can't enjoy movies period movies. Then again, the first PoTC treated the historical stuff much, much better.

How come the pretty white women who knows math is deemed a witch and has to be put to death while being man hunted, but the tattooed, bald actual witch is left alone, and is actually guarded by a solider.

I agree with the quips- there were way too many and most of it was like "le modern 2017 cultural awareness XD" type stuff

The cast turns me off. It just looks like a glorified Gods of Egypt.

I really think you are over thinking this. It's not meant to be historical in any way. The historical elements are purely there for flavor. In the 2nd and 3rd movies the East India Trading Company is romping around the Caribbean conquering everything in sight, is that historical? It's just a movie

>and he's all of a sudden some chivalrous "You're my treasure" father figure?

Disney is not allowed to do just villains anymore. They either turn good before their deaths, to allow Jesus into their hearts to be saved and allowed into Heaven, or they weren't REALLY bad guys. Like Salazar, who was a good guy who hunted down pirates for a living, and showed no mercy to them.

>In the 2nd and 3rd movies

That's what I'm saying. The first one was very rooted in what setting it was in. Then when they expanded they thought they can make up their own history. Not an awful thing, but meh, bugs me when it's the TINY things.

I cant muster the will power to see it, as i know it will just be a cgi shitfest of garbage like transformers.

Fyi, these PotC movies are the number #1 foreign movie in China and do huge sales. Now you know why they keep making them.