Having sex for the first time

>having sex for the first time
>eating out my gf
>go down to rim her ass
>it smells like poop
wtf I hate buttholes now

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Yeah well, what you should have done instead was watch some TV with her instead of Fornicating like a degenerate.

You can't spontaneously start rimming and expect it not to have booty flakes leftover.

Good poop smell or bad?

>eating out a girl at your first sex

why do kids do this? start with the basic shit ie penis in vaginas

once i ate my gf pussy and shes been eating some kind of chinese garlic before.
that was so fucking gross.

>"my girlfriend's so hot, I think I'll eat out her ass today"
>"holy fuck it smells and tastes like shit, why didn't anyone tell me? I'm gonna puke, my boner will never recover"
There are some things you should just know. Like standing in fire is a bad idea, I don't feel the need to test that assumption just to be certain.

haha thats my favorite television and film

WOW Great Sup Forums - Television & Film thread, OP!

>eat out girl
>tastes like shit
>find out she wipes back to front
just make them shower before fucking them

>what are showers

Cigarette smokers taste of cigarettes too. You get used to it though.

It's kinda like when we were kids, we'd put our tongue on those batteries with two leads on top. That was all the rage on the play ground.

In once had a stripper wave her ass in front my face and it smelled like shit. It was awful.

thx dude dropping some knowledge for the 14 yr olds that browse this board

Electrocuting yourself was all the rage when you were younger? What country are you from?

>sex
>girlfriend

huhuhuhhuh nice one Sup Forums, haven't had a chuckle in 3 minutes.

>girlfriend
hahahahahahahahahaha
like i get involved with my one nighters

Hello friend, it appears you're posting on the wrong board. Not to worry, Sup Forums's layout is quite a bit less user friendly than Reddit's so it's understandable.

You see, this is the television and film board. On this board we only discuss topics related to television and film, any other topics, such as your one, don't belong here. Perhaps they would be better suited on a board such as /r9k/, Sup Forums or even Sup Forums.

Anyways, no need to thank me.

>having sex

Stopped watching the movie right there.

Some of us would mix vodka in with mouth wash. We even sniffed rubbing alcohol. It's a wonder no one had a stroke from all that sniffing.

LOOK MARISSA HES POSTING FROM HIS PHONE LIKE A NEET AMERICAN MALE HAHAHAHAHA

thats not how strokes work.

>tfw my last 2 one nighters were ugly as fuck

Don't worry about strokes, you all probably ended up a little braindamaged though

Who?

>What is a shower?
You don't just jump in there after a long day.

I'm not a doctor so I don't know. But sniffing rubbing alcohol can't be good for you.

We also smoked dried leaves. And then someone brought weed and it was Ground Control to Major Tom.

...

I never understood this mentality. Was being sober so painful that you had to try any degenerate attempt to get fucked up?

>shove your nostrils and tongue by the hole that shit comes from
>surprised it smells and tastes like shit

I kek everytiem

No, life was cool. Being high was something you could do so you did it. It's like do I put my dick in a fat girl who was offering it freely or continue trying to fuck around with the stuck up prude? Fatty was offering so I took it.

>start living with ex gf
>she starts bathing twice a week
>comes to bed smelling like shit
>lets have sex user

You better handle your business, son. Get in there and handle your business. Smell of shit is a state of mind. You don't smell your own shit while shitting so her's will mingle in with everything else. So you'd better handle your business.

Yes, because women are real human beings who defecate and, unlike pornstars, don't undergo multiple enemas before having sex

Anyone have the pasta about the guy that tricks his fat gf into bathing with shower sex?

most people have oral sex before PiV...

Roastie hate thread?

What you smelled was the end result of digestive processes taking place in your girlfriend's body.

As her body gleaned energy from the food she consumed, it converted the food into waste and pushed it through her digestive tract. Prior to engaging in intercourse with you, she dispelled this waste from her anus, possibly into a toilet. It's likely that trace amounts of her feces remained around her sphincter and on her buttocks and that's what you smelled. It's actually very similar to the digestive processes your own body goes through.

enjoy your cancer

>not licking girl poop

Am I on a watchlist now?

Russians are always a barrel of laughs. Anyone has the one when the Russians drops a grenade in the water. And the guy's there with his camera phone and they drop the Grenade and nearly kill themselves. It was funn knee

This rolls all my fetishes up nicely.

youtube.com/watch?v=E8tRc3_l2vM

What the fuck is that video? Whats happening?

>now

What's going on here?

I enjoy munching on and fingering vaginas. It's really fun and tastey if they shower first.

fair enough

When a Russian man loves a Russian woman, he and his buddy Ivan will ask her to vodka rape date.

>back to front
I hope you dumped her or fixed her, no one should wipe like a retard

That clips older than Old. No one cares.

I Love Russians, they're really crazy.

It's nothing. Watch it with family and friends. It's nothing at all to be concerned about. In case you're autismo, I was being factitious.

cuck

what tv show is this and is that character alive?