/brit/

no sissy irish edition

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youtu.be/mOkHepDdTlM
youtube.com/watch?v=sticXkHxZC4
youtube.com/watch?v=ISmgOrhELXs
youtube.com/watch?v=zROIlspgOjM
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

i wish i was this normal desu
i still think you're a bit of a soft arse, but i bet you're a well adjusted, functioning member of society

...

love watching mentally ill people desu
my favourite mentally ill people:
1. ricardo lopez
2. chrischan
3. terry a. davis
4. tim bryne
5. g-time johnny

Give over you fucking eejyt, you think you're some hard nut because you spend your time watching this garbage? Grow the fuck up you daft cunt. That makes me a 'soft arse'? Stop trying so fucking hard not to fit in.

>Give over you fucking eejyt, you think you're some hard nut because you spend your time watching this garbage? Grow the fuck up you daft cunt. That makes me a 'soft arse'? Stop trying so fucking hard not to fit in.

i just think you're a bit soft lad, didn't mean anything by it. it's good to be a bit effeminate.
i bet titanic made you cry didn't it?
it's not like i actively search for this shit either, but i don't cry and post self righteous wank on a Taiwanese cartoon website until 4am when i do see it

durban?

The Irish mutt strikes again

youtu.be/mOkHepDdTlM

how fucking low can you go christ

desperately require context and or source for this thing

crack and the hood lad

Be nice to Björk

brexit britain

oh ur 'ard lad

u surely are

A common sight in low-budget online games of the early 2010s were popup messages that said things like "Share this game on Facebook and receive a free item!" These fairly crude messagers were nonetheless effective at turning average people into willing product promoters, and using all carrot and no stick to boot. But it was crude, and there’s no dought things will go further.
Sony patent 8246454 B2, filed in 2009, gives us a glimpse of the future. The description explains that the patent describes “methods, systems, and computer programs for converting television commercials into interactive network video games.” An example of such “interactive” commercials is attached.

Here, the microphone of a Smart TV or videogame console is used to detect sound, and McDonalds requires the repetition of the company name before a commercial can be exited.

And it's inevitable that this will spread beyond personal abasement in the privacy of your own home. Now when you order food online you'll see a popup saying "Mention Coca-cola positively in a tweet and get 10% off your next Coke!". Neural networks will scan your tweet, check the context isn’t negative or neutral, and reward you accordingly. Still all carrot and no stick, of course.

Eventually companies will be able to track what we say in-person as well, either through always-on phone microphones, invasive personal assistants, or simple police-sponsored Big-Brother style compulsory bodycams for public safety. Now companies will partner with government to ask you to shill in public for bonuses. "Tell a friend about the new Mountain Dew Electric flavour today and receive 2% off your next electricity bill!"

The ‘bonuses’ will start becoming direct cash bribes - 0.5p for every corporate slogan you say during your day, 1p for every jingle you whistle in public with a bonus based on how many people are nearby, £2 if you wear a shirt with their logo on it on your next date. Et cetera.

thread theme

youtube.com/watch?v=sticXkHxZC4

I seen footage, I stay noided I seen
Armored cop open fire Glock
On some kid who stepped so
Fast was hard ta grasp
What even happened til you seen dat head blow
Off his shoulders in slow mo
Rewind that, is so cold
Rewind that, is so cold
I seen footage I stay noided
Juke step wit so much boy rude looseness seem like
No bones in him skin
(noided) my jaw hit da floor like this real for I gotta see that one mo gin
Ambulance hit and run over pedestrian in Brazil
Little tiger, boy soldier
Twist a cap back and kills (noided)
Seen crazy shit man crazy shit
I seen footage, I stay noided I seen

Everyone else will be doing it too of course, so nobody will mind you spouting these advertisements at them mid-conversation. After all, your friends will probably reply with a slogan from their chosen corporate teat in return!

I expect eventually it will be so normalised and accepted people will put aside a certain time of day to get together with all their friends, sit in a big group, and get all their corporate shilling for the day done in one big go. They'll all assemble and one by one spit out as many catchphrases and jingles as they can, as quickly as possible. Everyone will get their money, and they'll move on with their day. It's only efficient, after all.

But the advertisers will keep adjusting the rewards and tweaking the algorithms to make you work harder and harder for your money. Eventually it will become a fulltime job for people, who will make their entire living just by becoming these walking billboards. Your daily morning session won’t be enough to pay the bills anymore. You'll have to spend more and more time at the group shilling session, hour after hour, until eventually you have no free time left, and neither does anyone else.

Every waking moment you are in contact with another human being you will both be stumbling over yourself as you compete to blurt out as many promotional announcements as possible, with specialist software watching carefully to make sure you have the requisite levels of enthusiasm and sincerity in your voices.

wha'ts the real thread

no i'm not saying i'm hard, i'm saying you're soft

The woman of prophecy

BRITISH ARMY! I AM BRITISH FOREVER!

The only respite your ragged vocal cords will get will be when you are alone, and you will be so exhausted from a hard day’s bleating you’ll be keen to give your voice as much of a rest as you can. You will simply stop speaking your own words altogether. When you are with people you will be advertising, and when you are alone you will be resting in silence.

And as this goes on, actual language will become obsolete. You, and the rest of the planet, will simply forget how to speak normally. You've spent so long uttering these empty company catchphrases, you will literally forget what they mean. They call it "semantic satiation", and you’ve probably experienced it yourself. You repeat a word for long enough, and it stops sounding like a word at all. Now imagine that, but with all of human language. There’ll be no more interior monologuing, and all that will rattle around inside your head will be abstract conceptions and the occasional stray slogan bouncing through your mind.

In the same way cavemen would grunt and groan at each other, people in the far future will communicate solely through these commercial catchphrases devoid of all meaning save the low-fidelity slight variation of tone that the sincerity detectors will allow. Even the company ad-men will be doing it, and its likely they themselves will no longer be able to create new jingles now their language skills have so far deteriorated. They'll just string random snippets of existing catchphrases together to form "new" advertisements, until eventually the entire purpose of the endeavour has been forgotten.

the other one
but i dont want to spampost in an active thread so i am posting in here so people can migrate in after the current thread and see this

ooh
you're 'ard
showing off because of the *gestures*

>BRITISH ARMY! I AM BRITISH FOREVER!

The system, like all systems strive to, will become perfectly balanced and as self-sufficeint as it is possible to be. People will echo the slogans of long-defunct companies, and automated systems will deposit money into their bank accounts, which will automatically be used to pay the automatically-generated utility bills which will fufill all their needs. The electricity bill will keep people warm. The food bill will keep people fed. Taxes will keep the automated labs pumping out new babies and assigning them parents.

Perhaps we will escape even the hard time limit of the Earth’s eventual destruction in 3 billion years by living in off-world colonies or better, self-replicating space “arks” flying through the inky nothingness where truly nothing at all can upset the perfectly-designed system that ticks along and sustains our race.

Perfect, automated stagnation, punctuated with constant guttural sounds of twisted, fossilised advertisements, passed down through millennia and hollowly ringing with insincerity from barely-alive “people” throughout all corners of the Universe. The perfect society, and an eternal one.

~THE~
~END~

only a true hard nut whos been around the block (watched plenty of cartel beheadings) is qualified to make such an assertion

Why are you all up at this time then lads

how many pussies have you fucked in december

*looks at the clock*
Well well well, it appears that over in Britain it's Sunday - and you know what that means, don't you wagies?

Yes, that's right. I just over 24 hours it will be time for you to TOIL!

watching the UFC

zero, and you?

7 hours of 2017 left

playing runescape

youtube.com/watch?v=ISmgOrhELXs

no gf
no job
one feel

post your storage lads

ideal panel show lineup:
1. jeremy clarkson
2. sean lock
3. jimmy carr
4. david mitchell

want to get an ssd but they're stupid expensive rn

replace clarkson with ian hislop and jimmy car with richard ayoade please

okay let's call it a draw, i'm smoking a cheeky little zoot and going to bed
watch a film called "night crawler", i think you'd like it. it's about societies increased desensitization and increased demand for "shocking" footage.

futurists are embarrassing brainlets

why not add hislop and ayaode

i fuckin hate niggers

have you done your last wank of the year

racist

fucking KEK when she starts running again at the end
Pls post video someone

stupid kiwi prick

Doing a so-called "nofap"

the artificial womb and sex robot will end the need for women

just think about that for a second

on a panel show, 6 is a crowd
4 is a good number

same

what the fuck??
maybe the guy driving the pick up is her boyfriend?

k, night

artificial sperm will end the need for men

...

that's the way mate
let it all out

the yank phenotype

Smarter than you, Muhammed.

>Sony
why am i not in the least surprised
they need putting out of business

...

waiting for a big ass storm that lowers the temperature.

Who here is a shut in for NYE?

...

Gibbering and screeching at this webm

seen it several times, don't understand the point of it

We are literally and unironically only a few hours until people born in 2000 are (legal) pornstars.

at least post a working webm you fucking abo

wb > paramount > fox > MGM > columbia/sony
refute this

Ill be toiling NYE and NYD

guffawing and shrieking

dumb frogposter

literally screaming

all run by nontses

not if they were born after january 1st
this
how many pussies did you fuck in december?

bent over to howl

shut up you cretin

is village roadshow (aka australia's film industry) run by nonces too?

yes but they are nonces just for banter

how am i a cretin

the eternal chad

>tfw people born in 2000 have had sex before you have.
Really makes me think.

need a ruth langmore gf ASAP

>how am i a cretin

youtube.com/watch?v=zROIlspgOjM

IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS

SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY

dumb irish subhuman frogposter

don't see the need for baseless aggression but fair enough

i sold an airline a sunroof and now they won't stop phoning
have to change my number like every week because they're really mad and want to return it
keep telling them no refunds but they say they're going to put me out of business. not likely.

>fox, columbia, mgm, paramount, wb
>all founded by jews
doing a really big think here lads

call everyone they're crying BibleThump

me on the left

why are the Canadians here more tolerable than /hoc/

murdoch isn't jewish he's just australian

me in the middle hehe

hockey fans are generally intolerable
true men like rugby

fathers like half

...

would you pay 50 dollars a week to fuck a university girl who needs financial support?

BASED

same difference