/ausnz/

Christian edition

This thread is a Christian thread - subscribers to other faiths, please do not post here.

¡Ojalá!

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Marriage_Law_Postal_Survey
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Good Edition

Cute Italian boys

go here and stay here you faggots

Cute chinese girls

But there are Aussies and Kiwis who roleplay with us during the day.

>For faggots
I'm not gay mate

they are NOT representative of the country they reside in any way, shape, or form. any true aussie or kiwi would literally beat you all to death.

When will the cricket Aussies give me their cocks already? It's been an awfully long time~

A true Aussie or Kiwi would feed me his cum like the cum toilet I am!

Kill yourself you whiny faggot, no sane person on Sup Forums likes you
This

Yes... only dirty, senile, old perverted men whose dicks are covered in smegma and piss like me because I am but a glory hole servicer... I'm a sperm receptacle for dirty men's cocks! Of course no sane person likes me...

Your country passed a gay referendum

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Marriage_Law_Postal_Survey

i cometh
seize the gay

No they didn't... Wikipedia is lying to you.

Aussies love to beat gays like me up... don't they? I hope they do! I hope they'll punch me and choke me and slap me as punishment for not sucking their cocks properly!

Have gay ERP in your own gay generals you illiterate spaghetti poof.

no they would literally bash your skull in until it was a mushy puddle of brain and skull fragment pulp. then they would proceed to piss on it as if it were a toilet.

Us m*Ng*Loids only exist for servicing white men's cocks... we can suck the same cock together.

based muzziegookbro

What else would you do to me?
Would you light a firework in my anus?

Perhaps these cute Aussies would tie me up and torture me... they'll use candles to drip hot wax all over me... they'll burn my tongue, and when I yelp in pain they'll piss in my mouth and make me drink it down!

I'd shoot you with a nail gun in both eyes.

Are you telling me that you do not like spaghetti?

Would you?

I think you'd prefer to use a bandsaw to cut my limbs off... and pour all the blood over my head before that! And you'd eviscerate me and pull out my intestines and connect an abdominal nerve to a battery to really torture me...

You'd torture everyone I know in front of my very eyes! And when I'd seen enough you'd use acupuncture needles to prick as many holes in my cornea as possible... before completely depriving me of my sight with a rusty scalpel that has just been used to perform a botched vivisection of a typhoid patient...

Hehe keep up the good work boys.

hmmm

*kisses you, my right eye still dangling out of its socket*

Blood-red natural lipstick...

gays stop

I love you bro

Did the gym get you tired?
I can relieve your stress

*kisses you, my right eye finally falling on the floor and rolling several inches before coming to a stop*

BASED muzziegookbro

There was this really hot video of an Asian boy stroking his white bf

>muslim

What a shitfest this is, holy shit

Based brainlet

us trying to reclaim our rightful territory from these disgusting ERP weebs

*sigh* can't get to sleep.
Maybe if a cute Singaporean boy were to give me a blow job...

Would you perform a trepanning experiment on my head while I'm still alive? Having holes drilled into my cranium for direct access to my skull...

Then you'd give me a frontal lobotomy. With my laryngeal cords sliced, of course, so I can't scream. But as you cut open my head, you'll see the fear in my eyes, but that won't be for long, as the blood seeping out of my forehead curtains them in rivers of red...

Give girl pic bro

I wouldn't mind there to be more Aussies and Kiwis around here desu. That's kinda why I came to this thread in the first place

my sons, what has become of you?

no just smash your head in with a cricket bat, good and proper

This is an Australian, I don't want to be banned for this

It would be good but as soon as they poop here they will disappear in their containment board that is Sup Forums

I would, but someone's playing with my spleen right now...

I don't know who. I'm sitting restrained in a chair with a hole through its backrest. But I can feel my lymphatic system swelling up, ready to burst. For my neck to explode with a gush of lymph.

Of course my adaptive immune system would fail. But I don't deserve a quick death do I?

He'll leave me on the floor to bleed out.

Until I fade away...

you SHALL NOT desecrate the holy number with this FILTH

My body is all sore now. You better take responsibility.

Incredibly horny and need to wank to some HOT GAY ERP

Imagine a catholic Malaysia
How would that even work out?Agreed
This is how a Hapa Republic will be created.

But do I really deserve so painless a death?

A spiked bat, perhaps? First used on my legs, then going up.

But that's not enough. I'd still be alive for half a day, maybe. People have lived through stuff worse than that and survived.

Maybe if those spikes were electrically charged. Creating a direct circuit through my electrolytic extracellular fluids, and exciting my nerve cells to the extent that my brain perceives constant pain. Pain that comes on waves, first a trough, then a peak, every time I start feeling slightly better I know that the most stinging pain will come again...

And as I'm hit, and hit, and hit...

Like a true MAN
I will take responsibility

Admit it, you want to torture me. Maybe with tongs, maybe with pliers, or an iron maiden.

>Cricket bat
That's a really gay sport you know?

it's really quite simple. if a painful death would give you an ounce of satisfaction it would be painless. if you're a gigantic pussy, which i'm going to guess that you are, and are just putting on this act as a defense mechanism to try to make us give up, then no, you're going to be on the end of an extremely painful WALLOPING

>catholic malaysia
GLORIA

stop

>another straightboy falls right into my trap

W-wait It w-was ironic

A painless death... that would do too... perhaps...

The psychological agony of knowing these are my last seconds. That the words I just said - that I can't say anymore since I'm gagged - are my last words.

I'll be remembered with the phrase "I love your cock, master" by posterity. For eternity.

Before the floor collapses.

Poofs beware

What would you do to me? Death by blunt impact? Sharp object piercing through my brain? My heart? My lungs? Strangulation? Neurotoxin? Electrocution?

Or a slow, painful torture? Your choice...

W A L L O P
A
L
L
O
P

Please post AUSTRALIAN images

Too late. Prepare yourself.

Walloped. The first thing attacked is my scrotum. It tears.

I hurt. But you don't stop. After all, why should you? I've caused your general so much grief that you had to migrate to /brit/. You give me another one in the stomach. The way Houdini died.

I can feel my gastric muscles contracting, soon enough a sliver of blood makes its way down my chin. But you aren't satisfied, are you? After all the complaining you've done on /cric/... I'm finally getting my just desserts.

One in my ribcage. Another on my neck. I cough up more blood. Exhausted, I try to inhale... but I can't. My ribs' broken and pierced my lung. But I don't have sufficient time to realise that, since I just got another in the middle of my chest.

I can hear my sternum breaking. It's wobbly. You seem to notice too, and smile. And you land one more on my pubic mound, causing my bladder to collapse and spurt its ungodly contents all over the floor.

And this goes on for hours. When the cops find me, my corpse is unidentifiable.

based
i've come up with an even better idea. i'll lock you in a 3x2x2 room that is isolated from any kind of stimuli. i'll keep you alive on a saline drip with your hands shackled to the walls and your feet shackled to the floor. you'll die there of old age after not having been able to masturbate or use the internet for some 50 or so years.

I am sure that this is not right

Good morning gang.

good morning

Let's grab a bite to eat after we're done.
Good morning cutie.

Hey goodmorning

you should be ashamed of yourself for validating this gigantic fagfest. please go make your shitty /nz/ + friends thread and leave the Good Christian Nation of Australia out of this

Don't mind me, just posting an AUSTRALIAN image on /ausnz/

Hows it going lads, hows your day been?
What time is it over there?

It is not better to eat before getting into the gym?

Confined, in a deep, dark prison cell. It's like I'm in an Ottoman family feud.

Pests gnaw at my feet, but I'm being pumped full of antibiotics. I won't die of the plague, and I won't die of the flu. I'll die from darned old old age.

I sit in the dark, contemplating my futile life. I lived eighteen years before my crimes had me locked up in this prison that ADX Florence prison guards would call barbaric and inhumane.

Because I don't have windows outside. I won't have human contact for the rest of my life. The rest of my life subsisting on... a needle in my arm?

And I'm shackled, tied up. Like I always wanted. But with no one to whip me, with no one to toy with my boy-clit. Just waiting, waiting in anticipation for a rescuer. For a civil war that finds me casemated within this dungeon in your cellar. And as I wait...

I dream about the rescuers. A tall, Australian man, holding a makeshift sledgehammer fashioned from a cricket bat, some metal, and some concrete, breaks down the wall. The first light I see in years, even decades. My eyes can't get used to it, I'll be blindfolded.

And then... he notices my posterior. My hole, all puffy from having been played with five, ten years ago. Of course I'm still shackled, and can't see what's going on.

And he's filled with lust ready to erupt at any moment. He's fighting, after all, hasn't seen a woman in days. Maybe he won't use me... I could only hope.

...

Posting an image of Australia's unironic national legend

Hello Australian, I would like to see more images of Australia that make you feel proud to be an Australian.

Studying
Then I posted here
Did you sleep well?

Hello /brit/ friend, since Australians came from England, you are forever welcome here.

hey westoanon

Great actually. Had a good morning lift and also the Italian's virginity.
Well, unless you wait 2-3 hours after you ate to go to the gym. When you eat the blood surges to your stomach to digest the food but you need blood going to your muscles for the gym, so if you eat right before you won't lift as much because your body will prioritize digestion.

...

gay

...

Melbourne. I gaze upon the bay. I can almost see Geelong on the other end.

I woke up here, don't ask me how. Naked on the street. It's not dawn yet, but there's a couple lights and they allow me to see far. I've crept behind bushes to avoid the occasional pedestrian. Thank god the college liberals won't really mind a nude Asian kid with a buttplug in his ass creeping down a street at 3am.

And as I look at the buildings in the skyline, I can think of nothing but... cocks. They all resemble cocks. It appears I've been rubbed all over with a special aphrodisiac cream, probably made from obscure plants only known to few that grow in the Queensland cloud forests.

I lose all sense of shame at this point. I fondle my butt plug, it feels good. And I begin to make my way towards the central business district.

time for /nz/ + friends you pathetic excuse for a human being
you can dream.
pic is for you my dear bro

painfull

That'd be sweet. A welcome change to cocks that stink of pee and musk.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that... you know when you eat your favourite food for a few days in a row and get tired of it? The same feeling. It's high time for a sweeter experience.

A fairy cock.

This is very Australian. Does this upset the New Zealander?

Oh wow, I didn't know that fact
Thank you

it upsets true new zealanders, yes of course

Not really, I don't know why I'm up so early
I went to bed pretty late.
Hey buddy, how was your day?
Work giving you any hassle?
>Italian's virginity.
Tell me more.

*farts*

*undoes his belt buckle, his vast hairy folds of fat flowing forth. he twists his gaming DXRacer chair to face you, the piece of furniture creaking and sinking beneath his weight. Below his ginormous hairy gut you notice his the end of his cock, a slight pinprick obscured beneath layers of pubic fat.*

h-heard u like cock ;3

I'd dream. I'd stare off into space... or at least what feels like space. Like perhaps that big dark patch in the universe captured on the Hubble Telescope back a few decades ago... I can't remember its name. And I believe I'll now never know. Because I'm locked up in a pestilential cell for eternity.

Reality is ideal, I've always thought, as I die, the world dies with me. But does that mean I'll get the last laugh? I can't have the last laugh. My captor would find me stinking, rotten, in that putrid joke of a room, that is if he's still alive then. I want him to. Because I'm insignificant.

I'm an insignificant being, that's right, and it turns me on. That I'd die with my hands in these exact positions, my legs too. I already know what my last meal was, it was what I just ate - a cheeseburgers from McD's. How pathetic. How suitable for the waste of oxygen that I am.

I'm so worthless that no one even wants to stick a cock in me. I'm so worthless to society that it thinks I'm better off locked in a light-less dungeon. That's why no one's come to find me, right? Because I'm not even an object for cum to be plastered over, I'm just a piece of trash... a piece of garbage...

...

Of course I do. I'm an onahole, a toy for old, nasty, perverted men to use. This guy is actually above average for the kind of person I service.

...Did that sound condescending? I'm sorry. I'm a cum sleeve, I'm not supposed to express my emotions.

I raise his belly. His cock is caked with the gunk that remains when sweat evaporates. The smell is the first to hit me, it's not the worst I've experienced though. I've swallowed things several times more disgusting.

I extend my tongue towards that mess down below. I can taste cheeto dust. Has he...? I won't think of that, since I'm a cock toy, not a doctor.

I begin work, slurping up all the gunk around his private regions. He groans, it sounds like a pigsty. It's a bit loud, since he's young, but I'm alright with that. The gunk doesn't taste so bad anyway.

Thanks for the Australian post.
This is in NSW, Australia for those non-Australians wondering.