Learning Dutch

Dear Sup Forums,
I want to rid myself from >tfw no tall /fit/ gf and I finally understood how to do so.
Can you give me good books/internet stuff for learning Dutch, please?

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Maybe ask on their general? I suggest you to start with duolingo, ankiweb,and just read dutch sentence and if you do not know something just translate to the russian/english

Thank you, Bolan. You are my greatest ally.

No problem russian friend,good luck.

with a good knowledge of English, it may be possible to just learn Dutch by watching some Dutch shows, reading Dutch newspapers, and looking up strange words from dictionary

the core of Dutch language seems to be basically a weird form of English

Well, English is only 50%.
Other half is German and I don't know it.

Well yeah it may be difficult then.
The reason I understand Dutch somehowe easily without learning it, is probably because I have studied both English and German for many years

KANKER MONGOOOLLL

dutch shows are terrible though

Just remember: ik smurf - jij smurft - hij smurft

A Russian that speaks Dutch is highly suspicious, just sayin'
They might think you're a spy or something.

Eww Dutch

It sounds better than Swedish though.

>I want to rid myself from >tfw no tall /fit/ gf and I finally understood how to do so.
I don't quite perceive your genious plan comrade.
Suppose you speak Dutch, then what?

Probably, it's hard for me to judge how it sounds to a non-speaker, but Tolkien allegedly based the speech of the Orcs on Swedish, so that's something. Dutch sounds like an American imitating German without speaking it though, poorly.

He also based one of the elven languages on Finnish. Just saying.

And the Darwen language on Arabic, I can keep spitting Tolkien trivia at you all day Sasha

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Comrade I'm afraid you've been misled, you don't actually get a government issued tall fit gf when you emigrate. You still have to compete with chads.

As everywhere.
Besides culture shock from me not being a liberator from their propaganda must be something of a bonus to me.

Well, okay. Gf or no gf, your endeavour is noble. Good luck.

My friend is java programmer working in Amsterdam, he said everyone speaks English and no one needs this shitty D*tch """""""""""language"""

try to listen to dutch radio, read magazines in dutch, watch videos in dutch
basically pretend living like a dutch

If I learn Dutch will I be able to flirt with Moroccans?

But orcs are former elves.
What does he (Tolkien) means by this? :v

Move to Amsterdam, everyone already speaks English there. As for learning Dutch use duolingo for basics but not only resource

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