/brït/

/brap/ edition

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youtube.com/watch?v=BjvfIJstWeg
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sophie

Good edition.

anyone who thinks bitcoin wasn't made up by NWO propagators is a certified brainlet

i like this edition

1769
August 15: Napoleon Bonaparte was born in Corsica
1785
October 28: Napoleon graduates from Ecole Militaire with the rank of second lieutenant in the artillery.
November 3: Stationed in Valence
1793
December 22: For his brilliant tactical command (although a subordinate officer, he was widely credited for the victory) at an internal French battle at Toulon, Napoleon receives the new rank of brigadier general
1794
August 9–20: Napoleon is imprisoned under suspicion of being a Jacobin and a supporter of Robespierre.
1795
October: Royalist 13 Vendémiaire rising put down by Napoleon. Barras helps Napoleon win promotion to Commander of the Interior.
October 15: At the home of Paul Barras, a Directory member, Napoleon meets Rose de Beauharnais (Josephine)
2 November: Directory established
1796
March 2: Napoleon is given command of the French army in Italy
March 11: Italian campaign against Austria begins
May 10: Napoleon wins the Battle of Lodi
November 17: Napoleon wins the Battle of Arcole
1797
January 14: Napoleon wins the Battle of Rivoli
October 17: Treaty of Campo Formio with Austria.
December 5: Napoleon returns to Paris as a hero
1798
May 19: Napoleon begins his Egyptian campaign with an army of 38,000
July 21: Wins Battle of the Pyramids against Mamelukes in Egypt
July 24: Fall of Cairo
August 3: Under the command of Admiral Nelson, the British fleet destroys the French navy in the Battle of the Nile. Napoleon's army is cut off from supplies and communication.
Napoleonic era[edit]
1799
August 23: Receiving news of turmoil in France, Napoleon relinquishes command in Egypt and returns to Paris, a so-called Coup d’état
November 9–10: Coup of Brumaire Napoleon overthrows the Directory.
December 12: Napoleon elected First Consul of the Consulate.
1800
June 14: Battle of Marengo.
December 24: Napoleon escapes an assassination attempt
1801
February 9: Treaty with Austria signed at Lunéville: Treaty of Lunéville.
Concordat of 1801.

Bigly lonely ladoids

cara delevingne but only her knees

just had by kicked in by local edl lads again

finally, some men of good taste.

>NWO is an organization

>Be me
>Hiding behind in dark cellar behind a tesco crate from la monstrou de Europa superior
"I CAN SMELL YOU MUTT" says the dark creature, smearing his turban with shit
>The smell of freshly defecated tea fills the room
>Feel his glowing red eyes pass over my position, hold dead still
"Notwhitenotwhitenotwhite"
>Remember how the French warned me not to cross the sharty seas
>I thought I could educate the British
>Civilize them, make them human
>The moment I arrived the jet black creatura and his brown horde chased me to this licencing cellar
>Now I know why travel to this hell is restricted by the EU
"I see you Hernandez"
>Bolt up and attempt to flee
>The goblin turns around and releases a deafening shart
>Boiling hot tea shart sprinkles on me, stunning me
>The brit grabs me with his claws and open his mouth to unhuman proportions
"TIME TO BECOME WHITE AMERIMUTT"
>My screams are forced out of me along with a white aura
"ALLAHU ACKBAR"
>I realise the orc is absorbing my whiteness and cry
>As the last of my European genetics leave me, pressure builds up in my gut
>I can't hold the pain, I release the last healthy meal I would ever have in England
>My skin has been turned brown as my shart
>My light hair and eyes turned a coarse and rough black
>I am one of them
>My instincts tell me to walk over to the mosque and pray
>Try to kill myself
>No weapons allowed in the UK
>Live in eternal pain

God fucking everyone has weed in Durham it’s mental, cannot walk around in town or anywhere after about 7pm at night and not have the smell of weed up your nose. Think it’s practically decriminalised here but fuck me

enlighten me then mr brainiac.

just checkin in to remind you lads that no matter how bad you feel right now, it could always be worse. your oneitis could've asked you out and then you could've been too busy to kiss her and then she started to fade out of the "relationship" and then you got angry about that and shouted at her and then you ruined everything forever and ever

>but fuck me
k

84459694
sorry, didn't glance at a single pixel of this

Every fucking day some other driver does some stupid shit in front of me. Thinking of buying a dash cam and starting a youtube channel

for dinner i just put 5 fried eggs in a bowl and poured a tin of beans on them
it was quite nice desu

im 29 but the gf is 21.

July 8: Battle of Algeciras.
1802
March 25: Treaty of Amiens.
May 1: Napoleon restructures French educational system.
May 19: Legion of Honour established.
August 2: New constitution adopted, plebiscite confirms Napoleon as First Consul for life.
1803
May 3: Napoleon sells the Louisiana territory to the U.S.A.
May 18: Britain declares war on France.
May 26: France invades Hanover.
1804
March 21: Introduction of the Civil Code (also known as Napoleon Code).
May: Napoleon proclaimed Emperor by the Senate.
December 2: Napoleon crowns himself Emperor, in the company of the Pope.
1805
October 19: Battle of Ulm.
October 21: Battle of Trafalgar.
Admiral Lord Nelson Killed.
October 30: Battle of Caldiero.
December 2: Battle of Austerlitz.
1806
March 30: Napoleon names his brother, Joseph Bonaparte, king of Naples, and appoints other family members to various other posts.
July 12: Confederation of the Rhine, Napoleon as ‘protector’. Initially had 16 member states, later others added, including kingdoms of Saxony and Westphalia.
Holy Roman Empire abolished.
September 15: Prussia joins Britain and Russia against Napoleon.
October 14: Battle of Jena and Battle of Auerstadt.
November 21: The Berlin Decree (1806), which initiated the Continental System was issued.
1807
February 8: Battle of Eylau.
June 14: Battle of Friedland.
June 25: Treaty of Tilsit signed between Russia and France.
October : Napoleon and Spain divide Portugal through a secret treaty.
1808
March 17: Imperial University established.
May 2: Spanish people rise up against France. Often referred to as Dos de Mayo Uprising.
May 3: Napoleon's soldiers retaliate for uprising by brutally executing Spanish citizens (famously depicted in Goya's The Third of May 1808)
July 7: Joseph crowned King of Spain, after Portugal revolts against the Continental System/Blockade Napoleon had put in place. Napoleon collected 5 armies to advance into Portugal and 'bullied' the Spanish royal family into resigning.

HIV was a chance to show our capability as a species to handle future zombie viruses. The government has practiced it thousands of times in movies and yet in the real world they blew it, absolutely blew it.

Protein, fat, fibre... everything a growing boy needs to produce some fucking massive farts

got called a waste of space by toilberg

>having a "local" pub

jesus christ fucking STATE of your existence

any funny childhood nicknames lads?

HIV is bad and all but let’s be honest a movie-style zombie virus would have a billion times the effort poured into curing it than gay disease

post good music from your area

youtube.com/watch?v=BjvfIJstWeg

Wrong. HIV was a punishment. A natural selection to weed out the queers. Humans were too advanced and too compassionate to allow nature to take its course.

the gf

my name with 's' added

Called my mate James “chewy” because he took a toddler habit of chewing his jumper sleeve well into secondary school and it was actually a pretty cool nickname that stuck all the way until the end of 6th form

how much bread is she putting away?

>not having a pub at the top of your street and at the bottom of your street
lmao

Literally have 3 pubs within 2 minutes of my house.

Peninsular War.
July 16-19: Battle of Bailén.
1809
April 19: Battle of Raszyn.
May 22: Battle of Aspern-Essling - First defeat of Napoleon in 10 years.
July 5–6: Battle of Wagram - Success for Napoleon, Austria loses territory and must enforce the Continental System.
October 14: Treaty of Schönbrunn signed.
December 14: Public announcement of Napoleon's divorce from Joséphine.
1810
March 11: Napoleon marries Marie Louise of Austria by proxy in Vienna.
April 1: Napoleon officially marries Marie Louise, Duchess of Parma in Paris.
1811
March 20: Napoleon II, Napoleon's son born, referred to as the "King of Rome".
1812
July 22: Battle of Salamanca.
August 4–6: Battle of Smolensk.
September 1: Moscow evacuated.
September 7: Battle of Borodino.
September 14: Napoleon arrives in Moscow to find the city abandoned and set alight by the inhabitants; retreating in the midst of a frigid winter, the army suffers great losses.
October 19: Beginning of the Great Retreat.
October 24: Battle of Maloyaroslavets.
November: Crossing of the River Berezina.
December: Grande Armée expelled from Russia.
1813
April 2: Battle of Luneburg
May 2: Battle of Lützen.
May 20–21: Battle of Bautzen.
May 26: Battle of Haynau
June 4–26: Armistice of Poischwitz.
June 21: Battle of Vitoria.
August 15: Siege of Danzig.
August 23: Battle of Großbeeren.
August 26–27: Battle of Dresden.
August 26: Battle of Katzbach.
August 27: Battle of Hagelberg
August 29–30: Battle of Kulm.
August 31: Battle of San Marcial
September 6: Battle of Dennewitz.
September 16: Battle of the Göhrde.
September 28: Battle of Altenburg.
October 3: Battle of Wartenburg.
October 7: Battle of Bidassoa.
October 14: Battle of Liebertwolkwitz.
October 16–19: Battle of Leipzig.
October 30–31: Battle of Hanau.
November 10: Battle of Nivelle.
October 31: End of the Siege of Pamplona
December 7: Battle of Bornhöved.
December 9–13: Battles of the Nive.
December 10: Battle of Sehestedt.

>30 posts deep
have successfully subterfuged /brit/ yet again.

all of it

rasheeds in the thread

bashing wanks
shagging girls
whippin spliffs
sippin frosties
that's just me, it's just who i am

If the police suspect that you're a nonce they will request internet history from your ISP and then search your computer. Why would the police suspect you're a nonce if you haven't been acting like one? Accidentally stumbling upon it isn't going to get you v&, just make sure you click out and avoid problem threads.

like how many slices nigger srsly smfh

>northerners have a local pub and a local butchers
lmao third world
Bet they even have bakers too the utter troglodytes “ooo mam we’ve ran out of white steak to go with our gravy better pop down the bakers once dad’s back from the mines” haha northerners fuck me

what'll it be boss?

gingernut

#WINNING
UK and EU banking rules are "completely aligned," so a Brexit trade deal including financial services "could be agreed within a three-year period from now," Sam Woods, head of the Bank of England's Prudential Regulation Authority, has told lawmakers. The statement contradicts insistence from the EU's Michel Barnier that a Brexit trade deal would not give UK banks free access to the European single market.

one thing /brit/ has taught me is how to rile someone up

Once you can rile up an experienced /brit/ poster, you know EXACTLY which buttons to press to rile people up irl

1814
February 10–14: Six Days Campaign.
February 15: Battle of Garris
February 27: Battle of Orthez
April 10: Battle of Toulouse
March 30–31: Battle of Paris.
April 4: Napoleon abdicates his rule and Louis XVIII, a Bourbon, is restored to the French throne
April 11: Treaty of Fontainebleau (1814) Napoleon agrees to exile in Elba, the allies agree to pay his family a pension.
April 14: Battle of Bayonne
May 4: Napoleon is exiled to Elba; his wife and son take refuge in Vienna
1815
Main: Hundred Days: Timeline
see also:Diplomatic timeline for 1815
February 26: Napoleon escapes from Elba.
March 20: Napoleon arrives in Paris.
Beginning of the Hundred Days
June 16: Battle of Ligny.
June 18: Battle of Waterloo.
June 28: Restoration of Louis XVIII
October 16: : Napoleon is exiled to Saint Helena
1821
May 5: Napoleon dies

100 slices

only in a perfect world

the great conquest of /brït/ has left me tired in my old age. think I'll go for some low hanging fruit, perhaps /nederdraad/, or /mena/.

Diglett

can't make me angry because i'm completely apathetic wahey

How does having the same banking rules mean that the U.K’s banks would get into the single market they’re not the same thing aaaaaaAAAJJJJJJJ

glhf

Look, look at it this way, you know uh, a man, a man takes a job, you know, and that job, I mean like that, and that it becomes what he is.
You know like uh, you do a thing and that's what you are. Like I've been a, I've been a wageslave for seventeen years, ten years at night and I still don't own my own Barratt new build. You know why?
'Cause I don't want to. I must be what I, what I want. You know, to be on the night shift working for Mr. Toilberg. Understand?
You, you, you become, you get a job, you you become the job. One guy lives in London, one guy lives in Swindon, you get a lawyer, another guy's a doctor, another guy dies, another guy gets well, and you know, people are born.
I envy you your youth. Go out and get laid. Get drunk, you know, do anything. 'Cause you got no choice anyway. I mean we're all fucked, more or less you know.

How old are your parents?

My dad's 58, mum's 35. She had me when she was 17. He was 40. He still flirts with girls my age and finds reasons to hug my female friends.

ta

the bankers the bonuses win again

really want a biscuit or something but im on a diet.

alpha

he sounds like a lad get him on /brit/

Literally don’t know, mum is 50 something dad is 60 something. Would have to get a calculator and their contact details out to work out their actual age

get some rice crackers

Think your dad’s a bit on the ‘ side

Living the dream. I pray I have a daughter so I can Kevin Spacey in American Beauty my way through life.

couldn't even look Professor Toilberg in the eye today as I handed in my assignment, he's probably going to fucking beat me into dust and drop my gpa down to sub 2.0.

i wanna kms every day

then do it

Still cackling about that lad we made do a ragie by saying that butchers don’t exist

make me

wanked over the strip club on gta V many times

LOVE setting 2 people against eachother at work, just drop small, ambiguous hints to 2 people that they both dislike eachother, let it manifest, and watch the fireworks fly in about 2 months time.

hope he does. fuck you faggot.

give me your address and i'll beat the christ out of you mate

...

rare quality /brit/ moment in recent times

Uncalled for tbqh.

youtube.com/watch?v=gxPHoj184ew

tfw no pig hunt and cook with aussie bf

tell me about what got banned at your school lads

that's a good one :D

i was too old for that by the time it came out
did my first proper cum by watching the strippers on GTA 4 and letting the controller vibrate on my nob

sometimes worry that my gf being 8 years younger than me is weird and it makes me wana break up with her.

hope they bond over how much of a twat you are lol owned

You are 2nd rate and fucking disgrace to my good name.

potential noncery

sue

had a big autsitic laugh at the ""alt-right""" """"skeptics""""" today. good god, this is stupid

just about everything fun

>i was too old for that by the time it came out
so was i which makes it even more pathetic
born 95

business idea: write a program that finds the educational post ITT and automatically reads them aloud to me.

Someone needs to do a case by case analysis on how the modern female turned into such a pathetic, vengeful and impotent creature. Its a truly astounding transformation.

business idea: only post natural redheads.

shes 21

met this girl 6 years younger than me on a night out but I am a complete loser (she gets paid more than me) so can't go for it

Viiiiirgin

im in a travel-lodge

...

>Someone needs to do a case by case analysis on how the modern female turned into such a pathetic, vengeful and impotent creature

you're talking about men right?

ok imo

nice l was in a premier inn yesterday nice