/tpg/ Twin Peaks General

Imagine Edition

>pastebin.com/Zi0MW4bz

Meanwhile

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=81bgy94vdRI
youtube.com/watch?v=idngILUv4W0
strawpoll.me/13337958
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

fist for Jmp

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

That song is shit.

OFFSCREEN CRIMES OF DOPPLEGANGER COOPER

>Murdered Major Garland Briggs, beheaded him, raped his body, raped his head and burned his office down
>Raped Audrey Horne while she was in a coma after the bomb at the bank, first with different parts of a dog, secondly with Major Briggs' decapitated head (She had a son, Richard Horne, the guy from the bar who later runs the kid over with his truck)
>While in the hospital pissed on Pete's corpse and shit on the parts of Andrew Packard they could salvage after the bomb blast
>Jaywalking
>Raped and murdered Donna while forcing James to sing "Just You and Me"
>Raped and shaved James
>Raped Harry and then shoved 90 pounds of RICE up his ass along with two gallons of BLEACH(that's why Harry is sick and dying)
>Raped Little Nicky
>Raped Dick Tremayne
>Does not pay his taxes
>Executed and raped a FBI agent in Columbia after Albert gave Jeffries the name and then dismembered his body to make into a dancing manikin with dog parts and Major Briggs' head
>Humiliated Diane and then raped, beat and abused her after going to her house shortly after leaving the lodge, forced a dog to rape her as well before dismembering the dog and putting parts of it up her ass and leaving her traumatized
>Coerced poor truckers to read books on Tibet before beheading then raping them
>Never returns his library books
>Yodeled at then tortured, raped, and murdered Annie and then used her head along with Major Briggs' head as bloody sock puppets to reenact the opening scene of the Dark Knight Rises
>Litters constantly
>Mounted a dogs head on a pole after raping and killing it and chopped off all its legs to use as a crude message delivery system
>Instead of paying his speeding tickets he tracked down and raped the police officers

Can we get some sort of "official" Sup Forums greentext explaining all the black lodge shit?

>>Does not pay his taxes

Not being extorted isn't a crime

I am the what errr, I am unwell

OFFICIAL WOMEN OF TWIN PEAKS POWER RANKINGS
(Original Series/FWWM Only)

1. Laura Palmer (Actual Hair)
2. Shelly Johnson
3. FWWM Donna Hayward
4. Audrey Horne
5. Norma Jennings
6. Jenny (Horne's Perfume Counter)
7. Eolani Jacoby
8. Josie Packard
9. Teresa Banks
10. Lana Budding
11. French Girl (Hap's Diner)
12. Giggling Secretary (Deer Meadow Sheriff's Department)
13. Denise Bryson
14. Maddy Ferguson=Laura Palmer(Wig)
15. Ronette Pulaski
16. Caroline Earle
17. Heba Thorsdottir
18. Annie Blackburn
19. Jones (Eckhardt's Assistant)
20. Margaret Honeycutt
21. Blackie O'Reilly
22. Lil The Dancer
23. Lucy Moran
24. Catherine Martell
25. Eileen Hayward
26. Julee Cruise
27. Evelyn Marsh
28. Betty Briggs
29. Gwen Morton
30. Nadine Hurley
31. Vivian Smythe Niles/M.T. Wentz
32. Heidi (German Waitress)
33. Sylvia Horne
34. Louie "Birdsong" Budway
35. Donna Hayward
36. Margaret Lanterman/Log Lady
37. Sarah Palmer
38. Mrs. Tremond/Chalfont
39. Irene (Hap's Diner)
40. Curious Woman (Fat Trout Trailer Park)

one of the most masterful things about The Return has been avoiding all mention of Donna Hayward. It's like she's been completely retconned out of the show. She's the only series regular who is so unmissed that avoiding mention of her name actually helps us forget her.

Like what?

youtube.com/watch?v=81bgy94vdRI

Not gonna lie, would pay good money for dougie singing this.

Yeah, people were REEing over Audrey even before she got mentioned. Nobody even made a peep about Donna when James or her own fucking father made an appearance. Worst girl and worst character.

HARD ARE YOU, MATE?!?!

weird, why would a south american bell hop speak in a british accent and ask Jeffries if he has an erection??

Consider me LYNCHED

T. Ps4 web browser poster

i dont know why anyone would want such a thing. Half of the appeal is the unknowable mysticism, the fact it's a hellish place yet sometimes helpful, but it houses terrible spirits, the whole dreamy night club aesthetic that feels like a half-remembered place. Just watch the show and movie and draw your own conclusions

J Edgar disagrees

>when you realize it's a twins peakless sunday

Disgusting. Women are more than some pretty face to be ranked on chinese iage boards. Why don't we ever see the men of TP get ranked based on their looks? Sexist af.

Is there any magnet link for e09?

young dana ashbrook takes the cake followed closely by dick tremayne and andy

she was a boring character but made up so much of the original show. She was Coop's entire entry to Laura's hidden life, and was the only other girl in that circle of friends/dating. I guess in the s2 finale she was implying she was going to leave the town? I can't remember.

UNLESS they use this very fact to drive home the two timelines/worlds theory in case that actually comes to anything (I don't think it will -- Lynch and Frost aren't hack enough to play such a giant retcon on the audience)

>Why don't we ever see the men of TP get ranked based on their looks?

it'd just be various iterations of Coop.

mane how the fuk is lucy #23 on yo punk ass list

Desmond's a hottie. Bend me next, please.

>thinking women are more than wet fuck holes
kek you go me here's your (you)

I'm just gonna get high and watch the first 8 hours back to back

not like I've got anything better to do

...

1 - Kyle
2 - Old Dana
3 - Young Dana
4 - Sheriff Truman
5 - Lynch

Why there is no new episode this week?

>gonna get high
>posts coop and air bud

DUDE

They both look like they're at a solid 10

I bet that dog had some bomb ass dank ass

How can I become as wholesome as Kyle?

I've seen a lot of shows take off 4th of July weekend because people actually go outside instead of watch TV, but the 4th is on Tuesday. Although my neighbors already started shooting off fireworks on Friday, so people just party on the weekend before the 4th.

...

youtube.com/watch?v=idngILUv4W0

Is this /feetkino/?

Because as Americans watch fireworks explode in the sky, a parade of lights and smoke, they will faintly recall the previous weekend when they sat watching a similar thing, and the same feeling of inherited guilt and fear will wash over them as they are forced to confront the truth their nation was built on death, suffering and destruction. Watching Episode 9 early would just take away from that.

1- Chester Desmond
2- Dale Cooper
3- Bobby Briggs (not really my type but trying to be objective)
4- Phillip Jeffries
5- Gordon Cole
6- Pete Martell
7- Dick Tremayne
8- Mike Nelson
9- MIKE
10- Donna Hayward

>donna hayward

What's with all the homolust for Cooper? Dude's so generic.

mike's the man and should be in the top five
and andy with is huge sperm count should be number 11

SAM
T
A
N
L
E
Y

kys

Footfags baffle me

>I'M WILD AT HEART tm

What did he mean by this?

That Wild at Heart is the best Lynch film

Someone shop out Coop so it's just the dog with Kyle's name underneath it

Let him out, David ;_;

Don't disrespect the after-islamic attack hymn

What did Lynch mean by this?

Wow

Did lynch fuck him too

Sheryl Lee is CUTER than CUTE!!

Is there anything else supporting that theory besides Donna's absence?

What happened to him? Is he dead? In the Lodge? Was he just a dream?

strawpoll.me/13337958

Brunettes > Blondes

He's in the lodge and can't leave

The two timelines theory is a Reddit/ dugpa cuck theory that is better off not being mentioned again

Hang upside down every morning

DELET

There is only one problem with him. He's perfect.

Will hanging upside down every morning actually do anything?

Wow, bob, wow.

Showtime decided that people still needed some time to recover from Lynch violently raping them.

He came after you too?

He's pretty as fuck, full homo.
James is generic

He is god, stfu.

Posting that should be bannable

I know it keeps your spine decompressed and maybe it's good for circulation or something. I know it's definitely a thing outside of coop's morning routine. Point being, taking good care of yourself is probably a good start

>a sped up version of Blue Velvet plays in the diner in s1

>implying he wouldn't

Forgot pic

>Young Cooper: pretty, adorable, has the kind of face and personality where you just know he's a cumslut who'd love getting raped
>Old Cooper: dignified, cute in an older way, would be the kind of guy who'd fuck you hard and then cuddle you quietly when he's finished

Coop's perfect at any stage.

Does anyone still have the webm of his dick flopping when he's running to hide in the closet in Frank's first scene?

doing the lord's work, son

Did Kyle have some work done on his face or did he just age this way?

Bad Coop is kinda ugly though

OFFSCREEN CRIMES OF DAVID LYNCH

>Raped his own daughter just a few days after she was born
>Raped, murdered and raped Jack Nance, in that order
>Leaves a mess after cooking quinoa
>Keeps Madchen Amick locked up in his basement as his personal sex slave
>Raped, tortured and abused Sherilyn Flenn and Sheryl Lee
>Thinks James has always been cool
>Kept Michael J. Anderson trapped in a cage in his L.A. home for two months, feeding him rotten meat and forcing him to drink his own piss
>Encouraged Miguel Ferrer to smoke and then made fun of his throat cancer
>Loves Nine Inch Nails and Rammstein
>Personally dug up Don S. Davis' corpse, decapitated and raped it, just so he could use it for one scene
>Viciously attacked Lara Flynn Boyle with a golf club, leaving her horribly disfigured
>Has provided his voice for several episodes of Family Guy and was a regular cast member of The Cleveland Show

Lynch made sure he'd always look good in exchange for sexual favors and helping him with his worldwide offscreen crimes

Eyes, man, they make a huge difference. Isn't he wearing black contacts as Bob?

Reminder that this is still Bad Coop, and here he's x100 times more fuckable if you're into hate fucking and deviancy as much as I am

Dunno about that, young Coop looked like he had black eyes half the time and it was cute as fuck, I think it's something with the mouth lines.

Is that his actual dick or a prosthetic/body double? The guy doesn't have one single shirtless photo, hard to image he would bare everything for millions to see.

This was the last time they spoke as friends.

Could it be the mullet?

I don't get this meme. Can someone explain?

there'd be so much good coop/bad coop porn if the original series got released in the recent years, the fandom would probably be atrocious, but imagine

K E K

>Half her face in the light
>Half in the darkness
>Such is the duality of man

B R A V O
L Y N C H

She only wanted Bobby for cocaine.

This can't possibly be the only crimes he's committed.

>he hasn't seen Showgirls
You're in for a treat.

>mouth is is darkness, signifying Laura speaks lies
>eyes are in the light, signifying Laura sees the truth

BRAVO LYNCH

How do we know this? What purpose does the lodge have for bringing people in like that?

am I reading into this to much or was this a Lodge ritual?

some kind of doppelganger roadhouse?

Can we all agree that David Lynch is a goddamn rapist and Michael J is /ourguy/

Same reason why it held onto Cooper for so long I imagine. Desmond was a good, noble person and the Lodge feeds off pain, suffering and corruption, so he'd probably make for a good food source.

Yes to the first, maybe to the second.

>was he a dream
Cooper and Sam discuss him by name in The Missing Pieces.