He's got my axe embedded in his central nervous system!

>he's got my axe embedded in his central nervous system!

Wait what? how did Gimli know what a nervous system was?

>meats back on the menu boys

How did orcs know what a menu was?

BRAVO HACKSON!

no really, JRR Tolkien wouldnt write something GRRM tier like this.

Tolkien wrote Tom Bombadil. Your argument is invalid.

How did they know what an ax was?

How was this photo taken?

>he doesn't know about Dwarven Medical School

baka OP

Is Middle Earth flat?

it's actually a painting made by a tiny demon sitting inside a box

Why didnt they just use an eagle to kamakazi with the ring into the the volcano?

dunno if this was bait but it triggered me something fierce, congrats

He read it on the menu

how did the demon know what a box was?

Thankfully it was a deleted scene so that was never shown in theaters

This was Hackson dialogue shitting up an otherwise good script.

The Hobbit was this but 1000x worse

>hes never been to Mordornald's

The Old Forest and The Barrow-Wight chapters are some of the best in LOTR. your opinion is invalid.

Elves are such smug pieces of shit. They were to cucked to help the fellowship take the ring to mount doom.

anatomical studies are old as fuck
they just didn't know how stuff worked most of the time tho

b-b-but men are weak!

...

they were days away from retirement

aint tryin to get involved in dat shit

They should have only barely been in the movies

Hackson added them to Helm's Deep for some retarded reason.

>itt people nitpick stupid shit

The whole LOTR trilogy was fucking great.

Why didn't they just drive to mount doom?

*eagles squawk in the distance*

t.filmfag

probs hard finding a suicidal eagle

Road tax was too high.

Kys autist. Why the fuck can someone only enjoy either the book or the movie?

The movies were great, much better than the shit that is churned out yearly now.

Why not just fly at a really high altitude on an eagle and drop the ring right into mount doom? Would have saved a lot of time and heartache to be honest.

The rings stop you from voluntarily destroying it
Only reason it lost is thanks to gollum

the clarinet is an 18th century invention requiring fairly modern techniques to manufacture all its parts

Does someone have the drawing of Elrond telling that guy to throw the ring away, the guy refuses, and then the last panel is Elrond saying "I WAS THERE WHEN THE STRENGTH OF MEN FAILED"? Much appreciated.

>hey you know what would be really funny?
>what?
>if we only showed up to help when everything was over anyway

couldnt you accidentally drop it into the mountain? like slip on a banana peel or something?

Why didn't the Eagles fly them 95% of the way to Mt Doom?

hello r/eddit

what if they missed the drop and it just fell in some orcs hand

...

yeah but someone would have to fool you to do that.

Yeah but not by voluntarily doing it
So
You'd have to put a banana peel and then send some grunt on with the ring

frodo and sam would have died on that rock tho

That's not a clarinet you moron.

Use laser guidance

they didn't fly straight to mordor because they weren't leveld up enough
it's basic game mechanics guys they would have got rekt

...

Yeah they wouldn't have died on that rock if the eagles just flew the ring to Mordor in the first place.

here you go buddy

meat would be back on the menu

>I have no argument:The Post

Thanks lads.

>dropping a Ring with the ability to think for itself one thousand feet down and hoping it will land at the door, roll down the corridor and fall straight into the lava and commit suicide.

just how fucking good do you think these eagles are?

thats a good point i never thought that far. how about putting the ring in a dead horse in some random field? I think sauron would have a tough time finding it there.

No one said they were supposed to drop the ring from that high idiot, they could have landed in there.

Right? Or what if they just dropped it into some random stream or river?
Wait...

What if you used it as a cock ring?

He studied ancient greek medicine

you fuck saurons eye

Sorry meant Roman

>Six centuries later, the Roman physician Galen contradicted him, disparaging those "who know nothing of what is to be seen in dissection." Instead he concluded that the brain was the most important organ of the body, with the nerves emanating from it:

"I have shown in my book On the Teachings of Hippocrates and Plato that the source of the nerves, of all sensation, and of voluntary motion is the encephalon [the brain]

I'm sure Mr. Frodo has thought the same thing. You just know he wanted put that ring on his tiny hobbit dick.

the eagles have to stay high up to avoid getting shot down, dickwad.

i wonder if the ring will change size to accommodate a cock like it does to peoples fingers

>Pratchett reference in a Tolkien thread

Ayyyy

If it wasn't invented until the XVIII century it's good that the dwarf isn't playing a clarinet though. I mean, you even talk about parts when he's playing a solid body flute (dk which kind though)

No one was around Mount Doom, Sauron wouldn't have time to send anyone.

Even if it is a clarinet what the fuck does it matter? Aren't dwarves god tier craftsmen? This isn't earth so who the fuck says they couldn't create one? They create far more impressive mechanisms.

read the book you FUCKING CUNT
READ A FUCKING BOOK FOR ONCE IN YOUR STUPID LIFE
please leave the thread, this board, and my life, while I do my best to forget about you.

Every time a comfy lotr thread comes up, there are always arguments about the fellowships route. But is there someone or something in middle earth that could have got them there faster and have actually done it?

If they were such good craftsmen, why couldn't they craft something that would destroy the ring? Or at least make it permanently inaccessible

Why didn't they just get a plane to Mordor International Airport and go from there?

Aragorn was cracking down on business travel deductibles.

>things like wagons, smelting and working knowledge of mechanical engineering exist
>dont take that extra effort to research internal combustion engines

I mean I'm only meant to suspend my disbelief so much here

>lose argument

Still not a clarinet.
Looks more like a flute. Maybe a tin whistle.

Radagast's rabbits

Then there would have been no story...

They should have drilled to the center of the earth and dropped the ring down there

>dont see a single other dwarf in these films

what were they doing all this time?

How would they get visas to fucking Mordor?

getting assraped by that fiery demon and all those orcs

Why didn't they just use wereworms to dig beneath the mountains of Mordor until they reached Mount Doom from underneath?

>Or at least make it permanently inaccessible
the point wasnt denying sauron the ring, the point was to kill sauron once and for all before he destroyed the world. he could have done that without the ring. like seriously did you fucking watch the movie? they barely survived the assault on gondor and were still outnumbered 100 to 1 at the gates of mordor. if they didnt kill sauron right then, they would have all died

Apply at the Gondorian embassy, duh

Mining. That's like their whole thing.
That and getting fucked up by goblins.

fighting against all of saurons northern army

No amount of diplomatic visa will prevent an orc ambassador for getting his shit pushed in the moment he steps in Gondor.

Why didnt they have gandalf use his magic to shot it into space. it would just keep floating away with nothing to stop its momentum forever, sauron would never be able to catch up and get it

Dwarves are good at carving rock and making basic metals, they're nowhere near complex enough to have intricate manufacturing abilities.

I haven't lost anything. In the book ("The Hobbit"), both Bifur and Bombur play clarinets. Obviously this didn't make the full transition to the screen either for budget reasons or because Jackson is a complete hack. But obviously the flute seen in Bifur's hand is meant to represent his clarinet as used in the books.

It's meant to represent a clarinet. But they shouldn't have clarinets, as they lack the intricate crafting abilities to produce the complicated parts behind a clarinet. It would be like the dwarves carrying automatic handguns.

Do they put the tax on the menu next to the item or is it only calculated when you get the bill

What is this?

This. Aragorn literally murdered an ambassador of Sauron with impunity.

Why didn't the Elves just take the ring with them to the Grey Havens?

Because then we wouldn't be able to whine and argue about it

Whats with the lies and disinfo elf boy? Don't you have some kinslaying to do?

Why didn't they just have Gandalf teleport to Mount Doom and drop the Ring there?

>It's meant to represent a clarinet

Then Jackson doesn't have a fucking clue what a clarinet looks like.

tax is included, tip is extra.

Smug pieces of shit.

Who would win between Voldemort and Gandalf?

Voldemort EASILY. Even Harry can probably fuck Gandalf up.

Jackson doesn't have a fucking clue what a hobbit, elf, dwarf, dragon or orc look like, why would he know what a clarinet looks like?