Why didnt they just eat the ring

why didnt they just eat the ring

whoever ate it would have to jump into mount doom

What the hell is so great about the ring anyway? All it does is make you invisible. In a world full of the most amazing magic shit, simply being invisible is what can make you rule Middle Earth? It makes no sense at all.

>this is who you share a board with

Obviously, it wasn't really important because Sauron never got the ring, but an explanation that was more than nothing would be better than nothing, which is what we got.

>All it does is make you invisible
This is bait.

In the thousands of years since the ring was lost why didn't the elves invent space travel and launch the ring into the sun on a spaceship

why didn't Elrond just take some rocks from Mt. Doom and then melt them into lava and throw the ring in?
would have saved them a trip

Sauron gets his power from spying on the girls locker room so you can see how the ring would be useful to him

Okay it also turns you into a Gollum, but that's not so impressive.

Would his log invisible?

>share the log

So he would shit it when he reaches Mount Doom?

The ring's power is proportional to who wields it. Gandalf for example, would be OP with it

>More bait

What really upset's me is that we never get to know what was The Shire's tax policy

hi summerfag

you're going to get a lot of shithead responses, but your initial take is correct. Tolkien's idea of the Ring of Power is very confused and contradictory. In the Hobbit it's merely a magical curiosity. Only later did he expand its role to be the Ring of Power-- and the two roles don't quite mesh.
The reason for this flaw is Tolkien's halfhearted adoption of ideas from Wagner's Ring cycle. English are by nature philosemitic, while the heart of Wagner's Ring is antisemitic. In Wagner's cycle, the Ring of Power is stolen by Albericht (a Jew) and represented the domination of free peoples by Jewish Capitalism.
Tolkien, a philosemite, could not digest the fundamental truth of this, and therefore the Ring became some generic magical item with some vague power. It's a fundamental flaw in TLOTR, which has many good elements.

The rings inlay making full contact with flesh is what activates it, meaning eating it you would probably start flickering invisibity on and off,pissing the ring wrights off. Also Gollum would climb under your covers in the night and jam his arm up your ass to find it.

>glue ring around your anus
>everyone want the ring
>people try to put it on
>free fingering
>profit?

Now this is a man with good ideas

Take Aminazine

Why didn't Gandalf wear it as a cock ring and fuck the eagles into submission?

Why didn't they just feed the ring to the eagles?

Assuming this isn't copypasta, this is an impressive shitpost.

Tolkien denied all política allegories
Off yourself

they'd finger you with a sword, i think

This guy right here. He knows his shit.

Also gold poisoning if you don't manage to defecate the ring in time.

they'd poop it out eventually

It makes mortals invisible and pulls them into the wraith world since they can't master the ring, which just happens to make you invisible in the real world. It needs to be in the hands of a greater being to showcase any actual power. People will try to tell you the ring makes Frodo invisible because Hobbits are sneaky creatures so the ring amplifies this element, which is false.

how big is the radius around mt. Doom where the magma still counts as mt. Doom
alternativly, what if you put it on your cock, assuming you could actually fit it

>Share your load with me master

What did Sam mean by this?

you're going to get a lot of shithead responses, but your initial take is correct. Tolkien's idea of the Eagles is very confused and contradictory. In the Hobbit they're merely a magical curiosity. Only later did he expand its role to be able to fly over Mount Doom-- and the two roles don't quite mesh.
The reason for this flaw is Tolkien's halfhearted adoption of ideas from Wagner's Ring cycle. English are by nature philosemitic, while the heart of Wagner's Ring is antisemitic. In Wagner's cycle, the Eagles are subjugated by Albericht (a Jew) and represented the domination of free peoples by Jewish Capitalism.
Tolkien, a philosemite, could not digest the fundamental truth of this, and therefore the Eagles became some generic magical creature with some vague power. It's a fundamental flaw in TLOTR, which has many good elements.

how can sword enter ring

tolkien was literally a dark age monarchist, trying to put his politics into modern terms is retarded

The ghost army in the third one ruined the whole franchise for me.

>Not going invisible and taking pictures of all the rulers of the kingdoms on the shitter to blackmail them into giving you control.

why

The ring adjusts

>muh books
kys

>glue ring around your anus
>take invisible shits

But wouldn't they just be visible again once they left the ring?

Tolkien only denied them because he was butthurt that people realised thats what they were.

ITS REALLY FUCKING DUMB. GHOST DONT HAVE ANY PHYSICAL ABILITIES LET ALONE EXIST IN REALLIFE

it was a different time

>waaaaah this fantasy movie isn't realistic

Why didn't they just melt it in a forge? If throwing it into molten rock destroyed it? Wouldn't molten metal fair well?

How can dick enter anoos?

>Dragons, Orcs, Goblins, Trolls, Elves are all fine!
>these Ghosts are so unrealistic!

>squeeze whole body through ring
>permanent invisiblity

Why didn't the fellowship just sail to the west and go around the world so they could climb Mt Doom from the other side?

...

you're going to get a lot of shithead responses, but your initial take is correct. Tolkien's idea of the ghosts is very confused and contradictory. In the Hobbit they're merely intangible spectres. Only later did he expand its role to be able to influence the living world-- and the two roles don't quite mesh.
The reason for this flaw is Tolkien's halfhearted adoption of ideas from Wagner's Ring cycle. English are by nature philosemitic, while the heart of Wagner's Ring is antisemitic. In Wagner's cycle, the ghosts are subjugated and unable to influnce the real world by Albericht (a Jew) and represented the domination of free peoples by Jewish Capitalism.
Tolkien, a philosemite, could not digest the fundamental truth of this, and therefore the ghosts became some generic magical creature with some vague power. It's a fundamental flaw in TLOTR, which has many good elements.

no, he was butthurt because he served in the somme and the (((them))) were making his entire life's work of mythology and epic poems into another insipid allegory for atom bombs and shit.

there's nothing worse than some uncultured american with no understanding of history politicizing his stories.

Why didn't they try and climb the ring?

I don't even know what surprises me more, that your post took an antisemitic turn or that it still sounds convincing.

it didn't take an antisemetic turn, he was explaining the beliefs of two different people.

Why didn't they just..

>tfw can't visualize all the environments tolkien describes

why didnt logolas destory the ring with his bow and arrow

wouldnt you just be pooping on wraith people?

>what is pooping

The movie's ghost army was stupid even without comparing it to the book version.

Huh? Is this a reference to something I'm not getting?

genius

You don't know what pooping is? LOL

Why?

I had the exact same problem when I was reading the books. Half the fucking narrative is geographical descriptions.

Read a book sometime, fucko.