Why are all the characters in this movie braindead retarded?

Why are all the characters in this movie braindead retarded?

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Because it was directed by a senile old man and it is set in one of the biggest clusterfucks of a franchise in existence.

I'm glad people are finally coming to the realization that Ridley Scott is an average at best filmmaker

he is great at directing but a shitty writer.

>You want me to stick my face directly into this weird egg thing, Mr Creepy Robot who I Don't Trust? Well if you say it's safe I guess I'll take your word for it.

Because if the characters were smart then there wouldn't be a movie, and Scott needs to keep pumping out as many shit flicks as possible.

Old Ridley can still shoot the hell out of a movie, but for the love of Christ keep away from the typewriter.

Jim Cameron and him should make the next Alien movie together

>Because if the characters were smart then there wouldn't be a movie

This is not true at all, characters can be smart in horror movies and still fail to survive because they are literally up against something out of their league, look at the characters in John Carpenter's The Thing, almost seconds after they arrive they notice that something is wrong and start investigating their surroundings, and even with mounting paranoia they still manage to rally up and overcome it and try to band together the best they can.

Why didn't wheat memes take off?

Watching it for the first time now. 40 minutes in.
> O shit something bad happen
> but look retardedly convenient planet
> let's land on the planet
> let's go outside without environmental protection
> oh look wheat and a human signal on the planet, we'll totally never guess this planet is a failed terraforming project
> let's leave crew behind to do sciencey stuff
> let's play with the flora we know nothing about while leaving ourselves exposed to the effects of it.
Yeah, the crew is retarded as fuck.

It was doing alright until the movie was revealed to be even more dumb than expected

Enough of this survival horror shit, we need another Colonial Marines movie

>survival horror

Half these motherfuckers were tooled up with assault rifles, survival horror my ass

I mean, it would make sense if the context was that space/exoplanet travel has become so common at this point that any moron can go out there and find stuff without fear of aliens because it's unheard of as of yet. Like how the first movie was just a crew of blue-collar workers in space. But, these people were supposed to be scientists, the best of the best?

And that's another reason both this and Prometheus sucked, no relating with the characters at all, how the fuck am I supposed to relate with scientists, doctors and archaeologists?

>well my crew member just got killed and I am sure you were involved, but ...

But none of them had an M41A, they all had slug throwers

>in a room with a half eaten corpse and a severed head floating in the water

I don't want explanations, I want you dead and everybody not currently taking a dirtnap off this shithole planet pronto

they worked didn't they?

I've mentioned this before. They shouldn't have done the spores and have the landing party be so fucking incompetent.

>We have a covered figure(David) sees the landing craft coming down.
>Pilot stays back. The others go to investigate the beacon.
>Pilot reads a malfunction on the landing craft, later we found out David fucked with the ship so they couldn't escape and couldn't contain the Neomorph.
>He follows the Captain's wife and the other guy that stayed with her. He fucks with the guy when he smokes, possibly infecting him with the neomorph.
>Captain's wife takes the guy back to the ship, Pilot and her panic but the ship is fucked and the containment is broken. Neomorph bursts out and starts fucking with the Pilot and Captain's wife. Killing the wife and the Pilot kills herself in the explosion. Neomorph survives.
>The rest of the crew rushes back to the landing craft in time to see the explosion.
>They get attacked by the Neomorph, it kills one of them and Walter gets injured trying to save the Daniels.
>David comes in at the perfect timing, saving the crew and making the Neomorph fuck off with the flare guns.
>He takes them to the Necropolis and then the rest of the movie happens.

It would make the crew less retarded and just actually a victim of sabotage by David working in the shadows because he needs them to breed his Xenomorphs.

They didn't fare quite as well as the Marines did

Most of the marines died because they could only use flamethrowers in the nest.

>They didn't fare quite as well as the Marines did

Yeah but measure overall survivors in this to Aliens, who did better, ignoring alien 3 of course.

55 minutes in and the stupid has gotten stronger. Much stronger. Are these people scientists or just a blue collar crew? They dress and like idiots. Why can't they follow quarantine protocols? Why can't they into guns? Why can't they handle the simplest problem without going into a brain dead panic mode? I don't know any characters' names and they'll all die before care. I'm rooting for the xenomorphs at this point. Good production value at least.

Damn shit went wrong real fast, way faster than in Prometheus

Fuck sakes. Here comes the covenant threads from torrentfags

so its not survival because they had weapons? stop being retarded

So far I like it better than Prometheus tb.h

55 minutes in. Heard a Wilhelm scream.

>so its not survival because they had weapons?

The main draw of survival horror are things like careful ammo conversation and choosing to flee rather than fight, when these guys have access to racks of numerous assault rifles and can start gunning down the whimpy aliens tout suite it kind of stops being survival horror.

I'm such a sucker for anything scifi that I can watch garbo like this and unironically enjoy it

I'm glad Ridley is sticking with the HR Giger visuals

That's really sad, you could stand to be more picky.

No really why did David kill all the Engineers?

youtube.com/watch?v=wK8kK4hY6PA
insert senile joke here

I never once watched an Alien movie and thought "You know what these movies need? A large, overly complicated myth arc."

worst movie of 2017

Did that Neill Blomkamp Alien project get canceled?

You're right. But things going wrong despite the characters' best efforts is absolutely not the case in this film.

Fucking kek

dont forget he just monologued about how they were parasites he had been experimenting on

Yes. Ridley Scott decided he'd do it himself, and here we are.

>Alien(s)
Fund it

Fug, then again Neill's recent flicks have been shit too so maybe we were spared

Neill is in the same camp as Ridley where he's pretty good at directing but his stuff will probably be shit if he's also doing the writing.

the universe knows we don't deserve something so awesome

>10mm caseless submachineguns with explosive ammo
>somehow not a "slugthrower"
wat
also Hicks had that Ithaca 37

I don't even give a shit that it was literal fanfiction. The movie could end with Ripley, Newt, Hicks, Bishop, and Special Guest Star Ninja fighting the 100-foot-tall Mega Queen in Voltron and it still would've been better than this shit.

It's not cancelled. imdb.com/title/tt4462546/?ref_=nm_flmg_prd_18

they're really going to dig up all the old actors for that one?

You are really asking that question in current year?

The entire movie was fucking goofy.

Lost all my patience during the "quarantine" procedures. No masks, no containment, no precautions taken whatsoever. Fine, we can say they got overly excited when they realized it was a breathable atmosphere and this would excuse them not wearing helmets (not really but lets roll with it), but the entire quarantine sequence was just straight up fucking retarded.

Not to mention half the people on the team lose their shit at the drop of a hat. Sure it's all wild, but of all people in the universe to be sent into space, wouldn't these guys have some steeled nerves?

Typewriter? He didn't write this.

Just let him choose his screenplay and then replace it with one that's not complete shit.

Can we all agree the retarded woman who put the guy in containment then proceeded to blow up the ship because she can't aim for shit is to blame?

hey man, we've all got vices

Wat. You actually spent money to watch this? fucklol

>space travel is so cheap and easy, the brightest back on earth decided to start shooting off every idiot into space to save the planet
There's no other explanation.

Yeah that bitch panicked faster than I could even realise it was a dangerous situation. Pacing was forced as fuck. The music and the shaky cam started as soon as that guy was having a fit outside the ship. I'm like wtf slow the fuck down. Also missing so many shots from 2 meters away with a fucking shotgun. That bitch was spastic.

he didn't shoot anything.

all he did was tell the actors how to act and give input on the script, and even the he might have left to their interpretation.

the cinematography , sets , action sequences and everything done well would be taken care of by the studio being able to attract talented people.

Alien covenenat should be retconned out of existence and Ol' Jim should make the true sequel PROMETHEUSES

>hurrrrrrr a space ship is designed so that you can't hear the emergency alarm from inside the shower area
>durrrrrrrr the ship's captain only remembers that she can tell David to remotely close corridors after she finds that the couple has been killed

has writing become more shitty and lazy in recent years?

I feel like before writers for serious movies would hold themselves to the standard that they would not allow nonsensical, moronic writing just for dramatic convenience.

there was nothing as glaringly shit-stupid in Alien or The Thing or Aliens as there was in Prometheus or Alien Covenant

They don't give a shit anymore. Blow the loud fart noises, make the familiar aliens hiss in your face. Maybe throw in some Christfag memes in there or some "philosophical" themes to make it look deep for the normies. The money prints itself. Who gives a fuck about a coherent plot?

The whole movie (promemetheus too) sounds like it was written based on setpieces that random people came up with at a round table and some poor schmuck had to tie together. I can see someone going "HEY. COUPLE FUCKING IN SHOWER. ALIEN GETS HIS DICK (TAIL) WET. GEDDIT? SO COOL!" to a room full of people too polite to say something.

Just that scene of itself really made me lower my overall score of the movie from a 7/10 to a 6.5/10, the mistakes that some of the characters made seemed a bit too ridiculous and poorly created by the screenwriters.

if the movie was as silly as the initial outbreak the entire movie i would have atleast enjoyed it

and then it turned into some retarded shit about the meaning of life that nobody cared about and made me sleep

>tfw youtube comments are better
This is some next level shitposting.

>together

Why would Cameron allow Scott to drag him down? Scott should retire and Cameron alone should try to salvage the alien series.

>salvage
Cameron is too busy making Avatar 2 to 36 to care about alien. And thank fuck, Aliens was enough.

>how the fuck am I supposed to relate with scientists, doctors and archaeologists?
the question is how do you relate to inept buffoons and you dont which is a good thing. If they were smart like you said you would understand their motivations, but their just poorly written characters with a job attached to their acting credit which in no way matches what is portrayed on screen.

Keep in mind guys they threw out the aliens space jesus thing for this so the writer from lost could have his movie break in Prometheus.

from the moment they landed without proper gear to protect them against unknown bacteria it was obvious they were retarded at best.

it doesn't matter if their computers said the planet has compatible life conditions because and their biologist or specialized personnel went full YOLO "lets see what's over there".

Future Earth is so polluted that most of population has diminished capacity.

Wheat was never explained in the movie. Such a mystery! Are we to believe that David was so fucking bored in those 10 years he started farming alongside his mad experiements? Where did he get the wheat seeds? Engineered those as well?