Sup Forums! I've been chasing The Hulk for years now, but nothing seems to work. How can I capture him?

Sup Forums! I've been chasing The Hulk for years now, but nothing seems to work. How can I capture him?

Is this a stealth SUPER canon thread?

Holy shit. I'll be honest. I'm the SUPER canon guy and saw the thumbnail and full disclosure came in here to talk about SUPER canon.

Rape the joker

*one of the SUPER canon guys

walk up to him and have an intense staredown the hulk is just an overgrown pussy throwing a big tantrum looking at him is the best way to calm him

Lose the mustache, make yourself a Hulk.
Everyone across all space-time will love you.

Keep making him angry and cause him to cause tons of destruction.

Then use this to rally Marvel people to persuade the President to order the military/Avengers to contain him.

You have to rape the Hulk

Forty cakes

Have you tried setting out some Hulk food under a box held up on one side by a stick?

I'm actually really happy they made The Incredible Hulk SUPER canon.

Make a set of accords him and his team have to sign that puts them all under your thumb. Let's just hope Bruce is around for it!

Have you tried becoming a Hulk?

Get hawkeye to use a hulk-capturing arrow that Bruce banner gave him.

Well at this point all you're probably going to need a shovel.

I might know a way general. But you aren't going to like it.

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this Hulk for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down Manhattan chasin' Spider-mans and Dare Devils. This Hulk, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

You must dress up like your daughter.
The Hulk will come.

Oh he will come...

That's your solution to everything.

...

tell him you will stop hunting him down, and that you will no longer attempt to use violence, and that he will be allowed to be a free man if you are able to keep an eye on him, and dont use any of the data that the hulk gives you for weapons (not that an army of uncontrollable madmen would be useful)

actually follow your promise without any sort of loophole abuse

>"Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?"
>After the Accords meeting, Ross goes home and crosses another item off his "Ways I can find The Hulk" list

But don't shave off the mustache.

Hasn't fail me yet

Hulk likes beans! Set some beans out for him on a big plate in the middle of a road in the desert! Then drop a big weight on him! Nothing will go wrong!

Fuck off Gordon

kek