Things that make you drop films instantly

I'll start

>made before 1988

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>female lead (with rare exception)
>shoehorned romance subplot for no reason
>gun slightly moves and goes CHHHCKKKCHH loud enough to burst eardrums so retards can see there's a gun on screen

>Directed by JJ Abrams
>there's a retard in the movie
>thugs/prison/drugs centered movies
>cheese

Are you Adam Johnston from YMS (YourDogSucksMyCockDOTorg) who is a dograpist and enjoys bestiality?

>directed by Michael Bay
>any teen dance movie
>disney movies, esp. anything muppet related
>any recent Blockbuster movie about the american military/wars

Liberal shit telling me how to think
Boring characters
Romantic shit where guy admits he was wrong all along
Changing established characters from other media to satisfy diversity quota
Constant interracial relationships pretending it's normal, ex. Doctor who 2005 series

>comedy
>fantasy
>adventure
>romance

>female lead
female lead isn't the problem, it's female writers
some of my favourite movies of all time have had female leads (Terminator 2, Aliens, etc_

Hence the "rare exception".

>rated less than 8.0 on IMDB

T2 did not have a female lead

>no quips within the first 15 minutes
>trailer is not a reel of the best quips

>over 2 hours long

I watched Safe House this weekend and in the scene where they are fighting in the safe house XFiles man was firing an M4 and it was going bang and flash but the ejector port was not moving at all and no spent shells were coming out. Had to drop it right there. Almost as bad as...

wow stop breathing anytime

>86026133
Linda Hamilton was great in that movie, easily the best performance in that movie

>romantic comedy
this genre was a mistake

also
>romantic drama less than 80%-75% Metacitic rating

>The DVD slips from my hand

>With all due respect

t.person born after 2000 A.D.

>made after 2010

>90+ minutes long

More like

>Made after 1988

>excessive gore
>if its a prequel (they are generally just shitty)
>4th+ movie in the series, especially if the 3rd one was well wrapped up (shrek 4, ice age 4)

this. i'd also add musical to the list

rom coms keep the middle age women from coming and shitting over literally every other genre of movie.

When I was a kid, I would go to the movies with my mother, my friends and their mothers to go see films like Spider-Man and harry potter. My mother and their mothers would always trash the movie and talk shit about it being to violent, bad influence etc.
My mother would always invite them over to our house a few days later and while we would play games like Need for Speed:Underground, they would rent out the latest shitty rom com and laugh at all the period/slut/fat-girl-farting jokes

>rom com with Ben Stiller

I refuse to watch black and wite movies on principle, they're either boring or pretentious

just read the plot off the wiki page, and pretend.
only way if you wanna fit in with these kinofags

Born in 91 actually not that it matters.

>made on or before 2017

Get on my level skrub

Their accents also piss me off.

>made after 1988

Excessive gore is fine aslong as it's realistic, I say this because the gore in usual films is far less realistic than it would be so excessive gore in films is actually a more real representation of what happens in real life. Gun shot wounds in most films are garbage compared to what it's like in real life.

ISIS have released enough videos now for hollywood effects guys to learn what it actually looks like when someone gets shot in the head with a fucking rifle.

You haven't watched Elephant man you plebian?

>made before 1920

>it doesn't feature pickles

>Relies solely on tropes
>Quips left and right
>Way too much "ambient" music
>Bad editing
>An american actor playing a foreign role, character is mute..
Doesn't need to be an amalgamation from all of these, just one is enough and I'll probably drop it.

>two examples
>etc_

>it has a hit song

>any of it is not in English

did you pick 1988 because thats the year Akira was made?

Pan's labyrinth?

Refer to my previous post

>movie tries to make it seem like being cucked is ok or not that big a deal

>there's a lot of girls out there, but not all of them bring you lasagna to work, most of them just cheat on you

fuck you silent bob, if that bitch sucked 37 dicks, then i don't fucking want her

What movies say that being cucked isn't a big deal? Were you just looking through your internet history?

There are plenty of movies where a cucked character gets back with the cheating whore.

>written, directed or acted by Seth Rogen

Nah Die Hard and They Live were made in 1988 and they feel reasonably modern and relatable.

>movie is on imdb

>movie is over 90 minutes

Oh, ok. Adding to that, I hate in a film when a guy is trying too a woo a woman away from some jerk. Who in real life would be self-loathing enough to be attracted to a girl who is with a jerk? That and if she is prepared to leave him for you, it's only a matter of time before she dumps your ass for someone else

Thing is, Dante's gf sucked all those other dicks when she wasn't with dating him. She might've sucked an excess of dick, but she was still faithful and she brought lasagna. Plus with all that practice there's no way she doesn't swallow, and you know how hard it is to find a girl that sucks AND swallows? If anything, Miss BJ is the cuck for getting almost cheated on by Dante when he tried to leave her for his slutty ex.

>you know how hard it is to find a girl that sucks AND swallows?
Not hard at all

>prequels are shitty
The Thing with MEW was dope.

(You)

It features:

>Jennifer Lawrence
>Ryan Renolds
>Robert De Niro
>Ben Affleck (I don't mind Casey Affleck though)

Toby maguire

T2 had a female lead.

>the movie is in English

No memes
>live action and for children
>made before 1979 (with exceptions)
>more than 2hr30mins

Adam Sandler

WOW, much kino you miss out on idiot!

Sarah Connor was as much a lead as Arnie was.

>black and white
>earlier version of a recent remake
>role has a different actor than now

Arnold barely had any lines in the movie. She was the lead in Terminator, also.

Lines mean nothing, it's screentime, anyway you can argue that Hopkins was the lead in silence of the sheeps.

You're missing out. You've been spoiled by CGI and Sex and Violence user.

I'm sorry Modern day Hollywood has destroyed your Soul but..... so it is I guess

>Great Expectations (1947)
>Chariots of Fire (1981)
>God TIER

Rewatch 50 First Dates, The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, and Billy Madison.

The hold up ridiculously well.

He wasn't even the main antagonist.

>it's screentime
No, it's prominence in the story and usually a character arc. It could be argued whether John Connor or Sarah were the protagonist, but it sure as fuck wasn't Arnold.

The Wedding Singer, yes! Proper Kino but the rest are just Garbage

When a character's action is completely unrealistic and it's an important action in the plot.

>More than half of the niggers are rational and can speak properly

>some genre + comedy instead of all-comedy
>Johnny Depp is in it
>the trailer has the typical swooosh sound effect that gets louder and a generic sad song near the end

Yes he was.

Nope, it was Buffalo Bill.

When there are any women at all in the movie or promotional material.

Yeah Buffalo Bill sure had a lot of lines.

>no LBGTQIA+ characters
>no Women POC characters
>no Interracial relationships

>comedy
>all jokes follow the template of "you look like X doing Y"

I thought lines didn't matter. Make up your damn mind.

>american comedy
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Na5W7m8YlsU
m.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWTB2fqGDM

no thugs/prison/drugs
i realize it isn't a movie, but you should really watch the wire if you haven't. GOAT tier.

>he doesn't like original uncut fantasia

>not watching shot caller
You are missing out user

>same thing with the queso.. tisk tisk

Not responding to me.

That doesn't make any sense.

I was not the one who made the point about lines.