We need someone to play a Russian who's not actually Russian

>We need someone to play a Russian who's not actually Russian
>Already on the phone sir

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/MNx3YNdm4yc
youtu.be/kt_-m_e39TM
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nubia
youtube.com/watch?v=Bqh_y-iH_Bc
youtu.be/8fP7YJtjbZY
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Damn, Peter Stormare is worth THAT much!?

JUST

What a greaseball

>We need someone to play a Viking who's not actually Nordic
>Already doing screentesting sir

>We need someone to play an Arab, that is not actually arabic
>The tacos are ready sir

>We need someone

good for him

>Hollywood
>We need someone to play a role of a German, Swede, Finn, Norwegian etc
>JUST CAST ANYONE AND PUT A BLONDE WIG ON HIM AND MAKE HIM SPEAK FUNNY
Europoor actors would come there basically for nothing and yet they hire these high paid, recognizable shits.

>he's already filming the sequel

>he's already recording te bluray commentaries

It could be worse.
You could be Spaniard.

>Movie happens entirely in Spain
>All of the extras are Mexican
>Americans think Spaniards are brown because of how often this is done

youtu.be/MNx3YNdm4yc

youtu.be/kt_-m_e39TM

Pic is what Spaniards look like IRL.
Video is what they look like according to Hollywood.

>we someone to play a cunning mate
>he's already on board, sir

>We need a latino woman to play an overly aggressive, strong/silent type woman who over compensates to appear tough and macho.

She's on the way from her DUI hearing, sir.

>we need a black guy whos character is good at what he does but not the best in the field and eventually always loses

>already on board

>we need a nigger with manners

>we need someone who's repulsive in every way imaginable.

Didn't Swedish Dicks finally air?

>we need a nigga

>We need someone to play a white character in a reboot.
>He's already rehearsing.

I was in my local shopping centre today in and in my local Gap store, when a man came and stood next to me shopping wearing a grey hooded top, and his hood was up, i think so noone knew who he was. I happened to turn around and noticed his unique face, I've been a fan since i could walk and i got all excited seeing him! I shouted 'PETER STORMARE!' and he looked at me, his eyes wide, he quickly manoovered himself to the door and i followed him out to get an autograph. When i got outside he was running down the sidewalk, so i chased after him shouting his name, i finally caught him when he turned into a dead end round a side street.

I told him how much i love him in his movies MOSTLY Jurassic Park, Bad Company, and The Green Mile. He said 'Thanks' and i asked for an autograph and a hug. I made him sign the little picture i had of him in my purse, its a picture of him from Prison Break, posing with co-stars Wentworth and Dom.

I asked him why he chose to become known as Peter Stomare and why not did he call himself Peter Storm instead? Its much easier to say and sounds like a superhero, I love it. He agreed with me, and i think he is thinking about it (name change).

I got a picture with him that i'll try to put up soon, his got his hood up, He told me his hair was looking greasy today and didn't want to be snapped, but when i got on my knees and held his hands asked him pretty please he finally agreed.

In California you have to cast someone who has dark skin if they speak Spanish in a movie. It's considered racist and cultural appropriation if you don't.

>In California you have to cast someone who has dark skin if they speak Spanish in a movie. It's considered racist and cultural appropriation if you don't.


true, I work in the film industry, everything he said is true.

also jews if played by jews, have to look like actuall jews, not slavic converts from poland/russia and shit.

>I said, “It’s gotta be Pancake House.” And then when we were doing the scene, I was saying "Where’s the Pancake House?" And Ethan: “Peter?” “Yeah?” “What were you saying there?” "Where’s the Pancake House?" “No, it says Pancakes House.” “Oh, I thought it was a typo.” “No, no, there’s no typos in our scripts.”

He has the Russian market fucking corned, why would he NOT be worth that much

>quick, we need someone to play the canonically beautiful love interest!
>her trailer's already stocked with ice cream, sir

All for a bag of chips and a broken tooth

I guess this explains why the few Argentine actors that made it into Hollywood are typecasted into playing WASP Americans even though they speak fluent Spanish.

The idea of a Nordic-looking Spanish speaker must break some minds. (Even though it's a common look here, we have one of the largest German communities in the world)

>be pic related
>fluent Spanish speaker
>Spanish surname
>never play a Spanish-language role in Hollywood because you don't look right for the US crowd
>stereotype is reinforced
Sad desu

> We need someone to make this pile of shit actually enjoyable

Fixed that for you

>we need someone that would really prefer if you'd be quiet

I hope to be a Fauxviet someday.

Nice try Sanchez

We're also seeing a backlash at hiring Egyptians to play Egyptians. There's a movement to hire only sub-saharan black as night Africans to play anyone from Africa because white Californians complain and say it's white washing. I'm not joking.

> we need some real African woman who is actually from Africa to play this role
> say no more

>You are too Egyptian to play an Egyptian
Holy shit.
I don't want to live in this planet anymore.

>We need an eastern Euro.

He's on his way.

>we need someone to gape their asshole
>he's already lubed, sir

>We're over our budget but we need this extra scene, probably won't make it into the film anyway.
>Drive over to Home Depot and see if any day laborers can act.

I'm there.

>We need a Swede to play a Russian criminal mastermind/mafia boss

He's not available, sir :(

>we need someone to take 5 scoops of "kill it" and do an 8 hour arm workout
>her testosterone level is already above our ability to measure it, sir

He's been in many successful movies over the years.

>we need an American MC
>we're going to have to import a Brit, sir

f

I fucking hope that quote is made-up.

aw fuck i didnt know

Oh shit. I only remember him from the Dragon Tattoo movies. RIP.

>we need someone that'll put out for charlie sheen.

he he, I like him a lot, it is how I imagine slavs to be.. the decent ones, not the cyka blat ones.

>that guy

>we need a hammy villain to try and save arrow s4

kek i just watched fargo like half an hour ago and this guy didnt play a russian

>We need a comedic relief black guy

...

Leave it to a whiny yuropoor to shit up an already stale meme thread.

who was in the wrong here?

>We need X

>we need a recognizable face as the support for the main character
>we called that guy

>le argentina is white meme

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nubia

I'm russian and never understood this choice.
He looks nothing like a russian man.
Very strange casting choice.

>We need a cuck

He has played Russians so many times that United Statians think that Russians look like that.

Kek

Everytime I see his face I think about enjoying my Cinco Boy.

I appreciated your contribution to the thread.

Fuck, I was wondering why I never saw him again. Sad.

Bane?

Al Pacino??

>we have no money but need somebody for this action/slasher flick

It's funny how he went on "Celebrity just fix my shit up senpai" with a terrible attempt at fixing his house, all while doing commercials saying "I like it better if I fix it myself" for a construction company

This. Hollywood tendency to cast White Westerners as Russians are really bizarre.

was great in Rick and Morty

>We need to capture the "urban demographic"
>Just give him a lightsaber and tell him to wave it around and do the same thing he does in every movie

>and do the same thing he does in every movie

Except they didn't, rather than the bombastic over the top Sammy they made him play a ultra subdued low talking warrior monk, it's his most against type role ever.

youtube.com/watch?v=Bqh_y-iH_Bc

>ultra subdued low talking warrior monk
"No."

youtu.be/8fP7YJtjbZY

Thank you for proving my point?

>mfw Disney actually saved the franchise

Give me a break.
He plays the same badass as always.
"This party is over"

>that brown elbow
yuck till i die

>insures

>we need a creepy old science man
>i'm here

discount Matt Damon?

>we need a guy

>we need to make a movie to launder some money
>i'm on it

>i'm sorry he already signed the contract

terry crews is fucking BASED

>BASED BLACK MAN!!.

he is pretty fucking rad though. Really cool dude he paints and shit too.

Nigger been in every third movie and tv show the last twenty years. Yes, he is worth that much.

USE THE MOTHERFUCKING FORCE!

and he's always been killed except for once

just go look at his imdb page. the guy has been in almost 200 movies

nothing but work 24/7

Yeah, he's clearly a wop

I heard someone needed to make a phone call?

>We don't need anybody
>Too late!

He even made a point of it in a weird DeNiro movie.

that movie was great

>We need someone to play Middle Eastern
>Or Latino
>Or Pacific Islander
>...
>We need an ETHNIC

Sweet as, bro