>Peter... I need you to get rid of my porn collection... Magazines, videos, some security footage I bought on the black market... There are snuff films in there, Pete. If your Aunt May sees all the pictures I took of her feet while she was sleeping... It's all in the box in the basement labelled "Baby Pictures"... Before you ask: yes, there are baby pictures in there, they're just not of you... Actually, they're a part o the collection, but that doesn't matter now... You've gotta do this for me, Pete. You've got to destroy my porn stash... And I mean DESTROY that shit, kid... Seriously, the hentai alone is enough to get a man put away... Hentai is the Japanese word for "pervert", son, and that's what I am... That's what your Uncle Ben is... All the fat globs of semen I've wasted masturbating to bestiality and vore over the years... And I'm a strong ejaculator, Pete... I'm as sterile as a surgery room, but I cum like a geyser every time... I think part of the thrill was always seeing if I could get any of it in my mouth... The first time I did it was a complete accident, but the taste, Pete... The taste was unlike anything I had ever experienced before... I started to crave it... It was like a drug to me... And that's coming from a guy who did a lot of blow in the 90s... Usually off of the ass-cheeks of some coked out hooker who me and the boys would kill for sport later... I actually have some footage of that in my porn collection... Which, again, you REALLY need to get rid of... I cannot overstate the importance of wiping that shit from the face of the Earth... Okay, what else, what else? Oh, you can have the slice of cake from Aunt May's birthday that I've been saving... I mean, I took a bite out of it, but it's not like I have herpes or anything... Wait... Do genitals count? Never mind, I'm dying now... In summation: great power, great responsibility, burn my porn, eat my cake... Bleh...
Peter... I need you to get rid of my porn collection... Magazines, videos...
please tell me this is OC
if it is, you're an autistic madman but you made me laugh
OP needs to do a redub.
god fucking damn man
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Raimi was ahead of his time
wew what a ride, nice job
Is this the return of raimiposting? If so i welcome it back with open arms
Uncle Ben sure had a lot of time before his death didn't he Raimi? It's not like he just got shot or anything.
Christ.
Op why not do a short of this... put it on YouTube... get Hollywoods attention=fame & fortune! There's your Hollywood in! Like the south park guys did
haha you should write for rick & morty
9/10 shouldve ended with a "what did he mean by this"
Its cool and all but why he would care if he was dying?
that should be better in that image of hin in the car
include me in the screencap
I actually chuckled a couple of times reading this.
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Good stuff.
Top shelf meme
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Jesus fucking Christ, Raimi.
For those who want to be part of this epic Sup Forums forced meme there are three easy steps.
Step 1: This is considered the most important step. See what movie this epic Sup Forums meme is being applied to today. Most of the time it's the older Sam Raimi Spiderman movies but since these threads die very fast the guys that force this apply it to other movies now. This thread however uses the Raimi Spiderman meme. Please pay attention.
Step 2: Take a iconic scene in the movie, any will do as long as people remember the scene. Greentext a quote from the scene and twist the words to use anti semitisim, racism, homophobia or any other edgy as fuck topic. Go nuts, the sky is the limit! The more vulgar it is the more epic the meme is. This takes us to the final step.....
Step 3: Make a regular post, taking the position of a normal person and pretend to be disgusted by that scene. I know, I know, this is Sup Forums, a site where gore flows like fine wine but that's what makes this meme edgy, wacky and zany. We pretend to be offended by that fake scene. Funny huh?
Now that you understand how to do this, have fun kids. Happy memeing!
>... Okay, what else, what else?
10/10, OP. Now go and rescue baneposting from Sneed
>>>/leftypol/
What a journey
>during my high school graduation seniors only party at my school part of the tradition was that the students could make fun of a few teachers and the teachers had to be ok with it
>one of the teachers had to "be a gaylord"
>students made him wear glitter scarfs and a pink fedora and he had to act faggy
>he kept screaming "I'M SO GAY FUCK ME IN THE ASS I'M SO GAY" while doing an effeminate dance
>students would throw eggs at and sauces on him while calling him a faggot
wtf raimi