They start charging a cinematic universe tax

>they start charging a cinematic universe tax

>they only see crab legs if you go to an ocean-related movie

>you will never pay off the interest on your ticket-ripper courses

>tfw we lost another ticket ripper this week at my kinoplex

>another falcon fell into the molten butter trough

>my local kinoplex can't afford a Robert unit

Memes aside, my local AMC theater refused to let me enter and had to get the security to escort me back to the ticket booth to get a refund since I wasn't wearing shoes. I was wearing fresh socks though that they could clearly see were clean.

>shortcut through the popcorn mines has been sealed off by the new updated armory

excuse me, why the fuck weren't you wearing shoes

???

Doesn't USA have a 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Sale' rules or something like that?

>go see the avengers in the theater
>packed
>theres almost an entire row of these really awkard looking man children decked out in avengers geer
>they literally start chanting "AVENGERS! AVENGERS!" when they get tired of waiting for the movie to start
>loudly and obnoxiously laugh at every joke

this was the last time I went to the theater. Im sure now it nothing but loud minorities and white trash

>local kinodome tried to make me rent one of their falcons instead of bringing my own
you can bet the kinoboard is going to hear about this

>it was a cold night, colder than most nights should be. The type of night that makes you wonder if God really is up in his heavens. Me and my platoon were trudging along the forward end, the evil known as the the enforcers were in plain view. The cruel bastards were slaving away the bones of the poor ticket rippers, who looked like their chests were about to give out at the slightest pressure of the world around them. It was here that me and my men hid behind the counter lines, waiting to ambush a group of enforcers, ready to pounce pike well trained jackels on a caribou. Suddenly, without notice a blnding flash of light had gone off near the butter molten pits. It was too late. Charlie had gotten the drop on us, and had used the flash of the watchtower lights to blind us, a grid of white and yellow started flexing in our direction, and we were no longer hidden from their sight.
> the red blood streamed across my face, it's prescence felt unfamiliar, and I simply stood and froze, unable to process what was happening around me. One by one my men started going going limp, their bodies fell to the ground, no signs of life, only the stench of death.
>I turned my head slowly, the moment from looking at my dying comrades to looking at the enemy with their cold steel eyes felt like a lifetime.
>there, the man just stared. I stared back. The empty abyss of his soul visible from behind the mask.
>he began to speak
>"we told you"
>a moment of silence
>"no singles"

>with the utterance of the last word, a quick flash of fire and then. Nothing.

>Gods prescence was surely gone

Good. It's reassuring to see slovenly behavior like this isn't tolerated.

>you finally get selected but the in-theatre rape dwarf is sick that day

what the actual fuck?

Why weren't you wearing shoes?

you deserved to get kicked out

>mfw my Falcon got rotbeak and has been sick all week so no trip to the kinoplex

How can your socks be clean if you're not wearing shoes?

Are you fat/a neckbeard?

I don't have AC in my car and it was like 95 degrees out and took them off at a red light and threw them into the back sea on the way to the theatre. Couldn't be bothered to put them back on when I got there.

Socks are basically shoes anyway. How does the material of the footwear make any difference?

>not having a falcon rental in your local kinosphere
Mine is right next to the anvil repair kiosk, what fucking shit hole do you live in that doesn't have a falcon rental kiosk?

lmao senpai it isn't because you weren't wearing shoes it was because you didn't do the secret ticker ripper no shoes greeting, baka i bet you haven't even been to the cinema rooftop pool parties hahahaha you fucking pleb

it's all about an immersive experience

>tfw the guy at the ticket booth says "nice shirt" and you look down and realize you accidently came all over the bottom of your shirt while you were having your premovie jerk off time

> tfw discount for seeing the cinematic universe in order

Omg. You're disgusting. You're civilized society privileges are revoked.

you were hot in your car so you took your shoes off? I wouldn't ever think to do this. What is wrong with you?

just postingh thios so i can save on my otyherr computer.

But I was wearing a white shirt though how could he have known??

>redditors immediately take the bait as soon as someone says "memes aside"

>reality is more absurd than kinoplex memes

>go home to visit my family for Christmas
>they decide they want to see The Force Awakens on Christmas Eve
>we go to our usual theater, but they're sold out
>we try a different one, that we didn't realize is predominately frequented by black teenagers
>scores of nogs screaming, dancing, laughing, literally shucking Anna jiving in the lobby
>luckily my senpai is super tolerant
>we buy our tickets and proceed to a theater occupied by about 10 or 15 scared and confused looking white people
>watch the movie
>have to piss but don't want to get mugged in the bathroom
>once the movie is over we head back into the lobby, but something is different
>same number of nogs, still only 3 or 4 security guards, but it's much quieter
>head into the parking lot
>literally the second our feet hit the pavement a swarm of 30-40 nogs starts running screaming into the parking lot
>they're all beating the shit out of each other
>we're in the middle of a mini-riot
>my dad tries to break up one of the fights, but I pull him away before he gets swarmed
>we hurry to the car and leave

That was the last time I went to the kinoplex

>Socks are basically shoes anyway.

>Couldn't be bothered to put them back on when I got there.

What's so difficult about putting your fucking shoes on?

>go to movie theater in Dublin to see new Alien movie
>friend already reserved tickets online
>walk up to ticket ripper
>he lets us all in with no problems
>we all enjoy the movie and go out for drinks afterwards

fucking hate cinemas!

...

I don't know the worse crime, poverty or autism.

...

similar thing happened when the first new star trek line of movies came out, literal autismos putting their hands up like spock and turning around to see if people were noticing that they were doing the gesture

they were yelled at by a fat dad

>go to local kinoplex
>"enjoy your movie kind stranger! :DD"
>"f-for you"

>do a full year abroad in italy
>new friends take me to theater
>they sell beers at the concession
>buy one and a bag of chips
>pretty much everyone is drinking
>can't concentrate on movie since I'm looking around nervously for cops
>sneakily sipping on my beer, feel like a fucking criminal
>halfway through, they stop the fucking movie for intermission so people can go get more beers, go to the bathrrom, or go outside to smoke
>they do fucking intermissions at the movies in italy
>actually stopping a movie you paid for and ruining the immersion
>i have no idea what the fuck is happening and friends can't understand why I'm bugging out

This actually happened.

>beers and an intermission

How will young autism ever process it?

I don't care if a movie is 4 hours long. Intermissions are NOT okay.

>theater shooter does underwhelmingmjob and barely grazed me
>buy a bucket of crab legs
>frame him for theft by hiding it in his falconry bag and claim he stole it
>alert a Robert unit about the orchesteated crime
>he gets sentenced to 25 years no trial in the popcorn mines
That'll teach you to shoot right between my eyes next time faggot

>kinoplex by my apartment serves beer, has reserved seating, and all the other basic things
>American in-laws visiting
>decide to see a movie

>they start losing their minds when I order the tickets online before we head out
>they look like they're having aneurysms as I e-mail their tickets and tell them to keep their phones handy
>they look like they're having a stroke as the bus pulls up right outside the apartment and quickly takes us to the theater
>their arms are literally shaking when they see beer at the concessions stand, and reasonably-priced snacks
>get a drink, they seem frightened by the touch-screen soda fountain, and intimidated by the small (read: normal) cups
>heading in the automated ticket booth scans our phones, visible looks of confusion on their faces
>say "oh, our seats are over here", and can see them losing their patriotism as they realize we don't need to fight for a seat
>get comfy in our leather recliners, lean the chair back with electric controls and order a beer through the theater's app
>employee comes by a few minutes later with drinks, FIL goes to pay but he says "oh, it was already paid through the app. Enjoy the movie!"
>they give up their American citizenship as they fall to their knees, not realizing how truly third-world their movie experience had been until then

>How does the material of the footwear make any difference?

>live in small town
>go to theater
>literally never been more than 4 other people in there at once
/comfy/ theatre feels

Your theater is going to close within the next few years. Enjoy it while you can.

Was it autism?

>frens

>visiting us from poland
>go to american kinoplex
>only serve fried corn and hotdog
>have to tip the usher and show then your ticket
>people smirk at you if you go alone at certain times
>all in all you spend like $60 for a movie
the fuck is up ameribros

>see new spiderman movie
>visit the kinoplex
>qt tix ripper
>shuffle over to her crab style
>"your ticket please"
>start making loud baby noises and throwing myself on the floor to impress her
>"sir, calm down, theres no need to get angry"
>pull my pants down and start thrusting the air while making suggestive noises, hopefully she will get the hint
>"s...sir please I don't know how to-"
>group of policy enforcers start to take notice
>a group of 5 or 6 pile on top of me
>slip away because I greased myself with butter beforehand
>watch amazing spiderman
>go home

I actually understand this.

Don't feel bad user. Next time just slip them off in the theatre

>I was wearing fresh socks though that they could clearly see were clean.

lol

desu i like you

>mfw the robertron unit is busy dealing with an autismo who thinks shoes and socks are the same thing and I'm able to sneak past and see a kino solo

>tfw i sneakily take off my shoes 70 minutes into the movie and quickly put them back on before anyone notices

...

>forget to tie my shoelaces
>shoes fall off while I'm on the inverted roller coaster that takes you to the theater
>the automated turrets shoot me when I get off

...

>slip my Reeboks off as the trailers start
>an usher comes by during the opening credits
>forces me to leave for violating the no singles policy
>realize I left my sneakers behind as he's escorting me out
>"Don't worry sir, we'll mail them to you."
>As I'm driving home I realize he never took my address

this deserves Reddit gold

>At my local Kinoplex
>Flick militia are standing guard, having taken over another outpost on their campaign against good cinema.
>They threaten to behead my sister if I don't go to see the new Thor sequel, hope for the best.
>Don't have a girlfriend, so I pair up with a local man who was threatened in a similar way, he's pretty cute and talks about video games a lot.
>Get to the checkpoint, say that we're a gay couple to get past, but the grand inticketor doubts it.
>She demands we prove it, he looks a bit shy, I give him a kiss on the cheek and whisper that it's for our siblings.
>It's not enough for her, a militia soldier forces the boy to his knees, forces him to blow me.
>Everyone's angry because I'm taking too long to blow my load, holding up the line.
>They force my cum to be shot into a bucket to be used for the buttered popcorn.
>We're allowed through, but they keep their eyes on me.
>Since we had sex outside we get to pass the penis inspection checkpoint, so that was pretty nice.
>Sit down, and lean in to the cute boy and whisper into his ear
>No homo

I do this, feels better driving a manual barefoot

>mfw the concession stand at my my local flickorama started selling psychedelics after 11pm

This, I take off my shoes every time I drive during the summer and it feels so good to wrap my toes around the pedals and itch them nicely

The handle on the wind-up kino alarm is broken in the largest screen of the theatre so now nobody can tell what scene to enjoy. The scene explainer at the front won't tell either.

>he doesn't wear handmade clogs to the kinoplex

Pleb

...well, brehs?

>go to kinoplex with parents
>don't have to take off my shoes while going through security

they weren't even my actual parents

>bring my falcon for the first time
>his recovery is terrible, and he has no out of shield options
>I go 0 - 2 in pools

what the fuck is this thread, I don't think any of this shit happened.

>1. Proceed to manspread and put one arm around the shoulder of remaining girl
>2. Trick question, ditch class and head for the girl's dorms
>3. Tuxedo without the jacket
>4. The D
>5. They have spotted some dweeb who has violated the no-singles policy
>6. Coke sniffing privacy and tampon disposal

. Proceed to manspread and put one arm around the shoulder of remaining girl
PASS.
. Trick question, ditch class and head for the girl's dorms.
HALF-CREDIT
. Tuxedo without the jacket
PASS.
. The D
FAIL.
. They have spotted some dweeb who has violated the no-singles policy.
HALF-CREDIT.
. Coke sniffing privacy and tampon disposal
FAIL.

Include me in the screencap

>anvil rental up 25 percent because of anvil hoarders not returning them

They have too many as it is.

...

...

does cinema get filtered as kinoplex or is it just a hot new meme

1. Stay where I am but make use of the available space if need be

2. I'm not American so none of this makes sense to me

3. The prom is actually a real thing? Hahaha.

4. Nothing

5. Something she found funny

6. To piss

>They use the 3D glasses technology to alter the faces of the star actors actresses so if you don't pay for the more expensive ticket they look like generic no name people

You are the one that must be new here.

but i've been here for over a year

>yfw Premium member of BreedReel program

1. Nothing. Just stay sitting there confidently, talking loudly on the phone to your best female friend if you feel insecure
2. Text one of the qt's in your class to sign you in as on time and then grab a bagel on your way
3. A tuxedo, but halfway through ditched the bowtie and jacket
4. Probably nothing, it happens all the time. But glance back at her to make sure. If she glances back at you then it's on
5. Probably because they saw something moderately sexual and are inexperienced.
6. Because as well as gossiping about the day's events and unloading, sometimes girls also need to take a whizz

Please tell us more about BreedReel program

Summer's over. Why are you still here?

>tfw the BreedReel program turns out to just be Robert fucking my wife's daughter in the boiler room

>hot new meme
Consider yourself lucky that Robert wasn't around to hear that.

>the theater shooter is late

>he accidentally brought squirt guns

I want this. Big name actors take me out of the movie

>go to work in the hood delivering kitchen appliances
>coworkers keep gazing down at my belt buckle
>irrational fear that my pants are unzipped haunts me throughout the day
>suddenly, a wild crackwhore appears
>"mm honey wass dat on yo shirt eheheh"
>look down and realize there is a jizz stain prominently spewn all over the hem of my polo

Had to furl it up for the rest of the day,but I'm pretty sure everyone noticed.

American theaters in cities have all that stuff. My local AMC megaplex does all that.

>can't eat crab legs during a movie set in a casino

fucking Robert, I want to be like the high rollers while the bulls go to town

who /arclight/ here?

user, your mistake was not taking the socks off and pretending to be a hobbit

then you could sit in whatever disability seat you want which happens to grant priority access to the designated shooter (the falcon might be a problem). Robert is a fair kinomeister, follow his ways

dumb question but is moviepass worth it?

Kinoplex doesnt support it though.