*laughs and nods* OH MAN, that was good. Th-that uuuh was REALLY good

>*laughs and nods* OH MAN, that was good. Th-that uuuh was REALLY good.
Collected. Self-aware. Charming. In on the joke.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/Y90cC4qPgq4?t=12
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>nowhere near as good as the sex i'd be having with your friends
He just can't win

if he bursted into tears he would have won

>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen.

Face it, this is the best way to win

>"nice joke. did your husband write that for you?"
>*entire audience goes silent*
>"it was a different time"

>shits self
>grabs crotch
>rips out vagina

Let's be honest, there's no way she could come back from this one.

>DUDE R4NDOM UNPLEASANT IMAGERY XDDd
Delete your post and try again.

nah m8 the only way he could have answered this would be:

>"haha some years ago I was a nobody and now look at me, famous actor who is an important asset in beautiful womans wet dreams"

jsut imagine being the traductor
you just heard the roast, do you deliver it like it was or you soften it ?

all women deserve to be killed

>haha good thing it's a fantasy because after this show I'll take you to a real hotel room tonight and this time I won't leave
No need to be rude, just be smooth.

This thread gets answered every time, why does Sup Forums act like this is an unwinnable situation

>i wont leave
>and YOU wont leave huehuheuheuheuheuehueheheuheuheh
>*white knights attack feldstein*

Fuck me, just let it go already.

Unironically this.

>I am used to it anyway

NO! SHE CAN'T WIN. NOT LIKE THIS. WE CAN DO THIS.
We just need more time.

all he would have to do is point out the ring on her finger

>but your married, arent you?
>"yes, whys that matter blah blah"
>yikes... uh ok i guess

Makes her out to be disgusting cause hes calling her out for having a husband but going on about fantasies on TV, flip it around, make her the gross one, takes the pressure off of him

>slutshaming

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hu-hurt m-me.

Just had to play it straight like based Tom. She was being an asshole while he was being a decent dude who did them a favor and came on their show, she's a jerk and the internet sided with him anyways, all he had to do was let her know and make her apologize before leaving the set.
>hurr people will think he's weak for walking away
Right because he should play the infantile game and try to come back with another insult instead of letting her know that she's an asshole and just removing himself from the situation.

fufufu

What would you have done in his position Sup Forums?

Nah. There's no good comeback to 'you're fat and ugly'. Any 'slutshaming' response just makes you seem bitter. Just take it and move on.

Exactly this So, something like
>wow, what is wrong with you? What did I ever do to you? No, I don't care if you were joking, we're not friends and you crossed the line, you're a jerk. I came on your show to have a good time and you attack me like I'm some evil person you need to beat down? Apologize, that was extremely rude and uncalled for

Then exit after an apology is given, fuck it, make it awkward. There is no graceful way to get out, that's like trying to find a graceful way to crawl away from the battlefield once your legs are blown off. Bonus points for quietly using jew connections to black list the show and keep other Hollywood stars off the show, while getting in shape anyways

>beautiful AND funny? Wow you're a great catch
You're in on the joke and you come out as the better person

Too wordy

The only way to shut her down would be to pretend you didn't get it or didn't listen, and ask her to repeat it. The joke's over and she lost

There's nothing you can do, she completely demolished him as a suitable male.

ffs

Wrong dude, if you shy away from it you give it the validation it needs to be truly damaging. Call her out on it for what it is, childish insults from a small person who wants to take shots at someone easy, and take the power away from her.

>I may be fat but at least I can say I have feelings, unlike you, you callous bitch. You're nobody, you're an fly on a heap of dog-shit. If I know one thing it's that one day I'll dance on your grave. I'll shit on your worm-meal and when I get to hell I'll use you like the disgusting whore you are

NO U

did she actually checkmate him? The only good responses I have seen were those that he couldn't really use, like pulling out a gun or calling her an antisemite.

>You disregard me but that's not truthful. There's an actual amount of money I can pay you to have sex with me after the show. Think about that for a second. What underlying problems are there that you wont confront? It's all in your power to change. I can't respect you if you dont respect yourself.
lol what he actually said was the best but didnt hit because emmastoneland translation, dumb frogs

>Wrong dude, if you shy away from it you give it the validation it needs to be truly damaging.
No, you have to act like you really didn't listen and then simply dismiss it. You're an oscar nominated actor and she's the local weather girl that nobody knows or cares about

>"Is that how you were employed on your current job?"

Or this Either way he wins.

Incorrect again, you don't stoop to the level of flinging insults back. Was Sup Forums never brave enough to confront the people who made fun of them growing up? Do you not know what does and doesn't work?

That's actually the weaker option, unless he played a pokerface right from the start, which he didn't, it's clear he's listening to her speak. Playing dumb and nervous is especially damaging since, like you say, he's larger than life and she's an ankle biting nobody. He can't ignore her and he can't attack her, all he can do is be the bigger person and call her out for being an asshole in a room of friendly people. He doesn't need to be her bitch and he doesn't need to bother with that shitty show and he should have let them know that.

>I guess this is the famous French hospitality people always talk about

Instead of awkwardly smiling he should have looked visibly hurt, but like he's trying to hide it and failing. The host would feel like shit, quickly apologize and then move on. Later on when the show's over she'd apologize profusely and may even pityfuck him if he tells her a sob story about his dog dying or something.

It seems to me that your need to insult a guest who has given you the courtesy to visit your internationally unknown show speaks ill of your character. The fact that it is thinly veiled behind a joke just goes to show your insecure and immature nature.

>Too wordy
OH YEAH? Well I had sex with your wife!

>-- Well yeah, not THAT good
Holy shit.
OP just cracked the code.

>by the time shit was translated to him, audience was already lmao'ing
Nope. Can't win.

Good one. Comes off confident.

>fuck you bitch
is this good

If he says that it's probably the first she saw a gun then why would he assume she'd be threaten by it if she doesn't know what it is?

...

>Professional actor
>When hears meany words gets upseat and hides it on a level of a toddler
What did he mean by this?

yeah pretty good i think it could be even better if he threw a mug of coffee at her face

>EL OH EL ma cherie

Later on he could tie it in to a recent personal tragedy (real or otherwise) to explain his emotional vulnerability.

The man of spiders pasta would probably work well in this situation.

>she's a jerk and the internet sided with him anyways,
Only the comments on the american version of the video is pro-Jonah, the rest of the world laughs are the guy cause he couldn't handle a joke, his behaviour afterwards (canceling every interview) is pathetic

Official guide to Jonah Hill’s comeback

After dedicating a year of my life to extensive research and consultation, I have the definitive guide for Jonah’s rebuttal.

>”In my fantasy”
Suggest an alternate fantasy that ridicules her instead.
E.g. I fantasise you getting stoned to death

>”you arrive with leo and brad”
Here you can mention how leo and brad are out of her league. Furthermore, you can exploit the implication of a threesome and its connotation with slutty behaviour.

>”and you leave”
Capitalise on your departure by justifying why it’s a benefit. Explain why Leo and Brad are now in an unfortunate position. Also, articulate the diseases she would be “leaving” on Leo and Brad thus humiliating her with some humorous wordplay.

Other alternatives include deflecting it onto Miles and asking him for input. This opens up an opportunity for your bro to back you up and humiliate her in the process. Or just bring a gun next time and casually leave it holstered on your waist.

Please send this as soon as possible to Jonah Hill’s personal email address.

thats the only right answer tho and if he played his cards right he could have been balls deep in that pussy.

After laughing at the joke a little bit, he should have pretended to have a heart attack. They would have taken him out and all the people on the set would be very worried, with she feeling guilty.

He then says "I'm fine now", jumps in the car, put on glasses and goes back to the hotel. That's it.

...

This is what fat men actually believe.

Johan showed class and maturity by not returning any insults.

>Sup Forums is still trying to come up with a good come-back

We just need more time.

Jonah can fuck that woman if he'd like, actually.

turned 360 and wakl away

>come on we're running out of time

This is what fat men actually believe.

it doesn't even matter that he is fat, he is a millionaire actor and a hot married woman admitted on live TV that he stars in her wet dreams.

the guy has a net worth of 45 million dollars too. why would the opinion of ONE random woman bother him when he can get his dick sucked 24/7 by the hottest woman around?

>one year later
>we still haven't come up with a proper response

You think a nobody's weather girl from France wouldn't fuck a millionaire like Jonah? Okay...

JUST GIVE US MORE TIME

>and a hot married woman admitted on live TV that he stars in her wet dreams.

this is exactly how delusional fat men are.

laugh with them because i've accepted my fate as a pathetic punching bag

Stealing this from an older thread but
>Yeah well it's called a fantasy for a reason

What did Miles mean bythis (pic related)?

look down and mumble something then continue thinking about a response until I fall asleep

*

but thats what she said, that she has a dream where DiCaprio and Clooney and him enter the room.

he also could have said
>"I'm not into sausage partys anway"

>Reach into coat for business card or napkin
>Write down hotel room # and silently slide it over to the girl
>Jonah: "Sounds like a plan. Are you free tomorrow?"

It's perfect. Jonah humorously paints himself as some kind of voyeur or cuck while flexing his star power by implying he will get Pitt and Dicaprio to run a train on her. If she takes the card she's a slut. If she doesn't or makes an excuse she is a liar and her joke is ruined.

Obviously if she shows up to the hotel room Jonah facefucks her until she passes out from lack of oxygen. Win win win.

Are you autistic?

>he also could have said
>"I'm not into sausage partys anway"


after he was already told to leave?

Yeah, no

no, are you?

>"Sounds like a plan. Are you free tomorrow?"
This is good, without all that card autism.

Yeah I agree with this, short and too the point. Card is kinda overboard

or if he just held the tears back while going "i-it's okay, I'm alright, it's just a joke. I'm sorry for crying, everyone"
then explain how your addiction to food is a result of the trauma you suffered as a child

Because no matter what you say, being a nepotistic fat fuck who is known entirely as a nepotistic fat fuck means you lose by default.

You really can't understand that being a punchline in a joke isn't thesame thing as being a girl's fantasy?

or are you just being a retard trying to save face on a technicality?

...

>a poorfag roastie tries to shit on a millionaire actor

this was the actual funny thing about it, like she has to play the weather cunt for the next 10 years (before getting replaced by a younger model) while Jonah Hill cruises on his yacht facefucking 18yo 10/10s for the rest of his life.

Exactly.

Doesn't matter how famous you are or how much money you have or what kind of French joke you make.

Being a fat lazy slob is inherently low.

The card makes his response funnier by adding a touch of seriousness. The mere fact that exists means that she can't ignore it or brush it off with another joke. She would be fucked no mater what she did, it's the perfect shut down.

He did return an insult. He told her "I heard you get sodomized quite often".

youtu.be/Y90cC4qPgq4?t=12

give her the old phantom jerk
it's impossible to have a witty retort speaking through a translators
signing is universal

no you're just too dumb to understand how to play a cunt correctly.
Its very fucking easy to manipulate them into wanting to fuck you even if they joke about you, all by simply twisting it all around and acting with confidence.

Miles knew it was over then and there.

>not Subway

what makes him "nepostistic" though?

he had amazing fucking luck in life being friends with dustin hoffman's son, i'll give you that

You might want to get that autism checked out user.

more like you're the perfect shut-in

I feel like everyone skimmed over this particular brain melter right here

This. There is nothing lower than being young and fat.

Jonah knows this.