/got/ general: One true king edition

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I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kit Harrington.
We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body.

I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kit. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry.

Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing.

One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin.
Then he'll go inside, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.

dany

Seriously why are Renly and Loras have stick arms? Why aren't they swole as fuck with all that armor they got?

>Jonerysfags

Because despite all of the talk how D&D are pandering to SJWs, they aren't actually very good liberals. This is why Loras is a gay stereotype in the show.

I miss greentexts of dabid & dabid's script-sessions.

Modern Day Dean-Charles Chapman

>Ned and Ashara story no where in the show

>Bran realises he can stop the army of the dead
>Jon and Dany get married
>Cersei kills herself when the Golden Company turn on her
>Jaime and Tyrion make up
>Jon gives up the Iron Throne to Dany because his "home is the north, and always has been"
>rebuilds the wall with the help of Archmaester Tarly
>Samwell is revealed to the narrator of the entire story as an old man, writing the "history of the game of thrones", comments on how it's a snappier title than the old book
>has been reading it to three silver haired children, who he refers to as Eddard, Rhaegar and Lyanna
>"Truly, it was a song of Ice and Fire"
>closes the book
>a dragon flies past the window, and they all watch
>camera pans out, and the dragon winks

THE END

Post Melly

9th for dickon manwoody

What do Grumpkins and Snarks look like?

Why was Dany so extremely cute this season?

SURROUNDED BY CANNISTERS

sad Melly best Melly

>tfw can't tell if she's 25 or 55

Cute tho.

Snarks=Starks
Grumpkins=Drumpfkins

wake up sheeple

Modern Day Isaac Hempstead Wight

...

GRUMPFT WILL NEVER RECOVER!

...

...

Both.

No, you got it wrong. In the end there is an iris shot, like in Tom and Jerry, and young Ned Stark says
>And nuwitends!

DON'T CRY MELLY

...

Not gonna lie, former wildling here. This is fucking hilarious watching The Night King walk in circles for seven seasons. But in all seriousness we can't let this guy get the God's Eye.

>and who...
>are you...

>No, you got it wrong. In the end there is an iris shot, like in Tom and Jerry, and young Ned Stark says
>>And nuwitends!

K I N O
I
N
O

I love these

YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT

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Is there one about his falling out with Cersei?

youtu.be/_43PzfEGVBY?t=30s

>30 seconds into the song

What was meant by this?

beautiful

The One True King Of Planetos

STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS

...

that might actually be the gayest thing i've ever read, and i've been to a lot of trap threads.

also, i'd never guess he had those killer abs

good, I don't want to hear about the time poor Ned got cucked by his ass of an older brother.

they really killed her character for me when they revealed her as an old wench. I'd prefer her to be old age but still with youth. something like elizabeth bathory or some shit.

the glamour really kills it for me because that pussy is really an old ladies

Hot Melly best Melly

Book
>Jaime discovers that Cersei fucked Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack, doesn't bother to find out why
>jealous sperg out

Show
>Jaime leaves to fight because of muh honor JON SNU

Don't know what's more retarded.

...

i would kill her husband to take his place, as is my people's tradition

>doesn't bother to find out why
Why should he? What possible excuse does Cersei have for being a disloyal thot?

''DON'T CRY, MELLY''

stannis is batman

I hope the Melly posters drive off the dany and jonarys posters

what does it matter why? she cheated on him you fukcing cuck

>Jaime discovers that Cersei fucked Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack, doesn't bother to find out why
That, and more. Jaime transforms into a more honorable man, and is repulsed by Cersei's calousness, cruelty and growing insanity. She even spurns him and sends him off to Riverlands because he's not acting like a yes man.
There's also the matter of Cersei starting ot hate Jaime, because he lost his hand and got a haircut, so he no longer looks like her.

Seriously, fuck Cersei.

Because GURM actually bothered to tell us why.

Brandon was the ultimate bro and would never do that. Rhaegar fucked and chucked Ashara and Barristan tried to cover it up like the Targ brown-noser he is.

but muh children

What is Melisandre endgame?

>ASOIAF, as rewritten by a jbfag

...

To create an army of shadow babies and use them to assfuck Ser Davos.

>Rewritten
Cersei is an insane, drunken, stupid, sociopathic whore who succesfully ruins everything the moment her father dies and gets power. The incest part is the least unhealthy part of her relationship to Jaime.
Disprove this.

Can someone post the pasta?
I havent read it in a while

Yes well done Stannis well done indeed
HOWEVER!

...

the tsundere effect

That meme deserved to take off

>Season 5, Episode 2 "The Kraken's Daughter"
>Episode begins with Yara arriving at Pyke
>she's greeted by her nuncle Aeron "Damphair" Greyjoy
>she rushes past him and heads directly to the Kingsmoot
>Euron and Victarion are bickering about godless men sitting the Seastone Chair
>tensions are rising as the debate heats
>Yara hops on a wine barrel and calls attention to her Ironborn
>"Lord Farwynd, Lord Drumm, mine own nuncles Victarion and Euron and Aeron, this bickering must cease!"
>grumbles in the crowd as the ironmen focus on their late Lord's daughter
>"The Wall, King's Landing, the Seastone Chair... it all means nothing!"
>Erik Ironmaker spits, "And what does, kraken slut?"
>Yara dismisses his insult, "We must take our forces to the Dreadfort!"
>boisterous rabble and laughter erupts
>"To save your cockless brother?" Euron Greyjoy rasps. "to correct your blunder, niece?"
>Yara's eyes lower
>"Theon... payed the iron price..." Yara takes in a deep breath "... we must take our forces to the Dreadfort because..."
>silence falls upon the Kingsmoot
>"The Boltons own... dogs! So many, many, dogs!"
>panic breaks loose
>"DOGS!?" Lord Drumm cries
>"HOW MANY DOGS DO THESE BOLTONS COMMAND!?" Erik Ironmaker asks in desperation
>"Countless." Yara admits, gravely
>Victarion faints
>Damphair starts pouring sea water on everything while praying as hard as a man can
>Euron falls to his knees and silenty weeps in the palms of his hands
>fade to black
>and who...
>... are you...

Written for television by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss

This.

Let's not forget how in the show she's pushed to the moon and back and whitewashed as fuck about how she's a sympathetic character even though she basically signs away a document that the High Sparrow doesn't even want, legalizing the Faith Militant and basically fucking herself over just to shit on the Tyrells who the Lannisters VERY MUCH NEED.

Just think, in an alternate universe, these two survived and are ruling Westeros and leading the defense against Daenerys AND the White Walkers after an uneasy truce with Stannis.

...

DON'T CRY MELLY

>Ned got cucked by his ass of an older brother

Ned was a beta and couldn't even approach Ashara, he doesn't have rights to her pussy, Brandon knew that.

how about /myqueen/

boo

DON'T CRY MELLY

Fuck off one expression "man".

>Stannis
>Truce
>with traitors

BOBBYPOSTING WON THE REAL SHITPOSTING WAR. HE SLAYED JONERYS POSTERS AND TOOK /got / WHILE YOU HID UNDER YOUR AGHHHHHHHH POSTS

she's hot af but i don't like seeing so much scalp

When will they learn?

Would also add there is something near there called the five forts with a wall bad of a black stone from the shadow area that is 1000 feet tall. Valerians used the stone for their buildings and dragon stone might be made of it.

So its pretty much another wall on that side of the world and old stories explain its there to fight off that god when he tries to invade. Look up lion of night.

I'm starting to think you're a bit too obsessed with Mace and Kevan. Do you suck old men's dicks, user?

How would the events play out if Melisandre never went to Dragonstone and met Stannis? I think that Stannis would still kill Alester Florent and Ser Sunglass for treason.

If Theon and 20 good men kill Euron, do they just make Theon their leader like when he beat up that dude on the beach?

Reminder Renly would have united the 7 Kingdoms with Charisma and strength until his jealous Autistic brother used spoopy blood magic hax to kill him.

Stannis truely did ruin everything

GODS WE WERE STRONG BACK THEN!

True, the slut was his by rights. And it was the best thing in the end. Only way to learn is by example. Ned would not improve by being babied.

Stannis would likely die by Renly's hand. I mean, yes, he's a tactical genius and all, but Renly had like ten times his army. And this is not a wildling army that has no semblance of tactics and discipline, he had actual soldiers, and wasn't Randyll Tarly with him?

Based joff poster

>Even as a boy, Renly had loved bright colors and rich fabrics, and he had loved his games as well. “Look at me!” he would shout as he ran laughing through the halls of Storm’s End. “Look at me, I’m a dragon,” or “Look at me, I’m a wizard,” or “Look at me, look at me, I’m the rain god.”
>The bold little boy with wild black hair and laughing eyes was a man grown now, one-and-twenty, and still he played his games. "Look at me, I'm a king"

Basically, Renly's a fag

IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR KING-DOM?

Renly had no right to the throne and to top it off he was a well known faggot.
Why Olenna and the Tyrells have no problem in the show that their only heir is a popularly known cocksucker is beyond me.

Renly would have been a puppet and no one in that arrangement could deal with the oncoming Dany invasion.

>Renly had no right to the throne
Neither did Robert. Didn't stop him.

Eh, I'd think Stannis would sympathize with Kevan and allow him to retain the Westerlands. He'd see him as being in a similar position as himself, being the second brother who was just doing his duty to his family. Mace is a bit of a toss-up considering Stannis never forgot the Siege of Storm's End and Mace mocking him, but I think in the face of a White Walker invasion he'd give it a slight pause.

No way is he rescinding his claim on the Iron Throne, he's not a cuck like Jon who was offered a perfect deal by Cersei but then turned it down to bend the knee to Dany for literally no reason.

No, I'm just angry decent characters got their storylines cut because of D&D's Lena fanwank. Same thing that happened to Stannis to push Rams happened to the entire King's Landing cast. If you're an avid fan of mine and a follower of my posts, then you should know this.

Renly should kneel before his brother. Stannis is the Lord's chosen. Born amidst salt and smoke.

>renlyfags

OWABAT MUHKWEEN

>Renly had no right to the throne
lmao
>Why Olenna and the Tyrells have no problem in the show that their only heir is a popularly known cocksucker is beyond me.
Why would they give a shit as long as he produces an heir

>Renly had no right

What right did any Baratheon have? They won the throne on strength and the backing of "traitors". Exactly what Renly was doing.

>muh birthright
No one gives a shit. The throne can be taken by force.

Yeah Ironborn are retarded like that

Targs had no right to the rule Westeros to begin with considering they're foreigners who only ruled it and conquered it through the fear of their dragons.