Spider-Man 1: With great power comes great responsibilty.
Spider-Man 2: I believe there’s a hero in all of us… that keeps us honest… gives us strength... makes us noble... and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most – even our dreams.
Homecoming: DUDE I WANNA BE AN AVENGER BUT I DON' T WANNA MISS OUT ON PARTYING AND PRIME TEEN PUSSY LMAO
>there are people who will actually defend this
>tfw I was a virgin all throughout my teen years
I feel like I missed out on a large part of life.
You didn't really.
yes he did.
>conveniently left out Spider-Man 3
Hmmm
I left it out because it's a mediocre film. Spider-Man 1 and 2 are the only ones worth watching.
3's message of forgiveness was much more powerful than the shit OP mentioned, considering it was actually important to that movie's plot.
>I believe there’s a hero in all of us… that keeps us honest… gives us strength... makes us noble... and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most – even our dreams.
This is really shitty exposition, especially since it doesn't apply to any of the characters in 2.
the jewish diatribes were a little too off-color for his tastes
>tfw when I was a virgin my whole life and still am
>BACK TO AUSCHWITZ?
jesus why would raimi put that in? it really was a different time back then.
>all those times we talked of honesty, I counted on you to take the lives of the Zionist rats
Raimi went a little too far there.
That's how that shit works, nigga.
Why do Americans call spiderman raimi? I don't get this me me
>Spider-Man: The Jew cries out in pain as he stabs you in the back.
>Homecoming: I don't really wanna celebrate something that was built by slaves.
>This is really shitty exposition, especially since it doesn't apply to any of the characters in 2.
It directly applies to Peter. Are you fucking retarded or just a fuck
>bawww uncle died baww i get bullied im a fucking worthless loser peter parker yo
>baww girl i love fucking another guy rn also my best friend oh lord whyyy :((
>baww life suc- wait im EVIL NOW yeee im cringy as fuck oyee winkwink
Tobey was the worst peter parker to exist ever. This will probably never change. Spider Man wanting to be the small guy for a while actually makes sense considering he's fucking 15.
Web gliding is fucking standard, you idiot.
PENIS PARKER
Why was Raimi's Spiderman so fucking crime-infested and dangerous? I swear Peter just had to walk outside in New York city for 5 minutes and he would find a construction site accident, a rape attempt gang bang, a building on fire, or some robbery, some times out in the public on broad daylight. New York was messed up before the super villains started terrorizing the city. I'm surprised it's still standing at all.
also applies to Doc Ock for becoming the hero in the end once he destroys his own machine saving everyone
Tobey is the only Peter Parker. Fact
It was supposed to be contemporaneous since New York wasn't as cleaned up as it is today.
Tobey was melodramatic, but Garfield was a worse Peter by far
>angsty piece of shit that continuously set himself up for self-destruction, and barely learned from his mistakes
>characterized as a retarded Chad, but somehow knew enough science out of nowhere just to advance the plot
>breaks a promise he made to a dying man and ended up having his daughter killed because he needed to get his dick wet, and constantly unloaded his guilt about this decision onto her throughout their short relationship
>drunken sex trying affirm your masculinity
>never really connecting with the girl your with. >only to hit a dry spell and immediately lose all sense of self confidence
>become riddled with doubt until the last time youve had sex was when you were 22.
>Peter it's okay. It is perfectly natural & healthy for a young man your age to be masturbating.
>Would you like Aunt May to give you a hand and help you relive some stress?
Have you ever had a mild lucid dream and peed? That warmth is basically sex minus all of the effort.
>1: Villain discovers his identity
>2: Villain discovers his identity
>3: Villain discovers his identity
>Amazing: Villain discovers his identity
>Homecoming: Villain discovers his identity
seriously...what the fuck
>having sex
man look at this fuckin normie trying to fit in here with his digits and shit
kek
Doc Ock didn't know his identity until he unmasked himself at the end
Sand Man didn't know his identity, Harry knew it since the second film but Peter let him find out, Venom did discover it though
The Amazing Spider-Man films were so bad I can't remember them well enough to argue with you
But Vulture learning his identity and not telling anyone was retarded
>literally swinging from a web in the picture
Underarm web is for show only
Peter Parker falls in love with Mary Jane Watson.
Unable to confess, the wall crawler is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when the spider-based superhero recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of the MARVEL MULTIVERSE.
...
>#1 in the Japanese box office for 14 weeks, 13 weekends
>Earns 20 billion yen and counting to surpass Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in Japan
>Reached 10 billion yen 9 days faster than Frozen
>Wins LA Film Critics Award
>Has become the no. 1 highest-grossing Japanese movie in China
>Has become the no. 1 movie in Thailand
>The film immediately topped Korea's box office opening on 555 screens all around the country which is a new record for the Japanese film.
>Also dominated China breaking the all-time records for the most advance tickets sold and the fastest film to reach 100 million yuan ($ 14 million or 1.7 billion yen), with the first 100 yuan earned in just the film's opening day.
>The film also dominated the charts of Hong Kong and Taiwan becoming the number 2 and top highest grossing Japanese film on the respective countries
>Inexplicably jumps 41% in the Japanese box office and climbs from 7th place to 3rd place in one week
>Still in the top 10 in the Japanese box office towards the beginning of 2017
>Now grossed US$354 million.
>Surpasses the box office gross of Spirited Away (US$289.1 million), making it the highest grossing anime film of all time.
>Is approved by Shinzo Abe and used by Cool Japan to spur tourism in Japan.
So this is meme magic. Not bad.
>and not telling anyone was retarded
Spider-Man saved his life. He's in prison, but he still gets to see his wife and her daughter.
FINDS
I've had a wet dream if that counts
>>angsty piece of shit that continuously set himself up for self-destruction, and barely learned from his mistakes
Sounds like Peter Parker to me.
Trips confirm
>be me
>19 y/o
>volunteer at ghetto
>There is a kid
>14 y/o boy
>often goes suicidal because some girl rejected him
>same happens after every break up
Growing up in a Christian home was the best thing to happen to me.
>You just don't get it, Terry. The National Soc--er--Royal Flush Gang are fighting to save Neo-Gotham from the niggers and communists who are trying to destroy our white heritage. When we rob banks, we're robbing the degenerate kikes in power of their stranglehold on the masses. We need strong Aryan minds like you to help us in winning this game. And if you join us my superior Northern European genes can be all yours.
Jesus Christ, I didn't know Raimi got his hands on Batman too.
Raimi is the last name of the director. The joke is that Sup Forums pretends to have their sensibilities appalled by deeply racist language which they insert into the mouths of various characters, especially Uncle Ben.
It's kind of a satire on when normies act shocked that an old film has a racist scene, then other normies with slightly more perspective say "It was a different time"
>Aaargh it's now 6 million and one!
Wouldn't it be nuts if, in his debut comic, Spider-Man tries desperately to join the Fantastic Four?