Will it be kino???

variety.com/2017/tv/news/wheel-of-time-tv-series-sony-1202390897/

>it's a Lanfear seduces underage boys episode

>tfw no scene where aviendha, min, egwene, elayne and lanfear trap rand with the power and rape him

>it's a men are turned into hamburger meat episode

>It's an Egwene episode

>it's a Perrin knows exactly how a she-wolf smells in a variety of circumstances episode

They're all like 19 or 20 at the start though.

Imagine what it would have been like if the Forsaken broke out sooner, when Rand was like 11, and Lanfear found him.

>boring plain farmgirl given way too much power, not even a ta'veren.

Did the ta'verenness of the main three cause all of that shit like Talents being re-discovered? Seems too convenient for it all to happen literally within like 18 months of the Final Battle.

Hi /wot/,
I know you guys like being irreverent and posting fun stuff, but I have a serious question:

Has there ever been a Wheel of Time pinball machine? I'm collecting fantasy-themed pinball machines and wanted to snag a WoT one if it exists, before the show debuts and the value skyrockets. I haven't seen any evidence that one exists, but I'd even buy custom ones if you know of those. I just want to stock up on Wheel of Time pinball machines before this show takes off.

Thanks for any help!
Runuckles

>tfw mat bangs everything that moves, but still is a fucking bad ass

>amend the story so he fucks the busty old innkeeper, Tuon and Selucia together, and then all three Aes Sedai together

He could pull it off.

how similar is this to asoiaf?

It reads much more juvenile, but is full of lightly hidden fetish material. HBO would hate it because no one really curses.

No shitting scenes. The author included one reference to a toilet, right before he died, because fans kept demanding it

Please dont get GOT'd

Books were shit. TV show will be double shit especially because of Sony.

aren't there any better fantasy like kingkiller and those other ones to get adapted?

>it's a problem could have been solved by actually communicating with one another episode

There's lots of fantasy adaptations that are ostensibly in the works:

tor com/2017/07/31/upcoming-sff-sci-fi-fantasy-adaptations-movies-tv/

>sony
>kino
pick one

>it's a flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker episode

>its a woman gets mad at ta'veren for no reason episode
this happens way too often

I'm sure there are. The best quality of WoT is that most of the women are busty, beautiful, not dirty nasty British peasants, and get naked a lot. You can't really pull this off well as live action.

>Sony

>sony

I'd love an adaptation where the women were all flat-chested but the horses were given enormous udders. Can you imagine a 32AA Egwene struggling to ride a Bela whose enormous udders were so full and milky that they scraped against the ground as they rode?

I feel like starting a pool to bet on how many main characters get race swapped.

if they make tuon black we riot

>Its another faile cucks perrin episode

All the men are black. All the women are white. Jews are producers.

i hope the cacogens dont look too fake

>it's another Perrin fucks berelain episode

>it's a Marilin Gemalphin tends to her cats episode

>it's a ASR is cast as Elayne episode

It's for a younger audience and has much more magic.

It's Masonic induction material, ASoIaF is just Howard Stern by way of Piers Anthony

shes starting to look like fun-sized sarah jessica parker.

WoT was written by a tall war veteran physicist, Song of Ice and Fire was written by a short women's studies feminist

don't piers anthony fans send him in puns and then every book he has three pages of puns

Was referring more to the buns than the puns

People will only compare it to GoT, just like they did the Shannara Chronicles, even though Shannara was published 20+ years before ASoIaF.

I've been buying up hardcover novels in the Wheel of Time series for the last two years when I see them in thrift stores as I do my rounds (I am an ebay vendor). I have completed three sets and have more duplicates of some books. I've been saving them in the hopes a show or movie will drive up the price.

I'll take a photo of them on the shelf in my storage unit tomorrow.

>tfw no thicc forsaken gf

>better fantasy
> kingkiller

still no cast ? When is this coming

you are not an intelligent man

>giv aes sedai gf

Will they include the scene where the forsaken kills the warder by getting him off too hard ?

Did that Happen? Like I know Graendal raped men but I don't think she killed any via rape.

Semerihage or whatever overstimulates the pleasure centres in his brain and just giggles about how she lost her focus

I wonder if he realizes that the printing press still exists

You'll get Egwene and like it

>*record scratches*
>"You are probably wondering how I got here, into this cave, with just one hand, a glass sword, a fancy dress and two angry women"

>Sony

D

R

O

P

P

E

D

>wheel of time

is it a biographical look into his past or is it about a time-travelling basketball player?

it would only work as anime

>Pevara will never be your tsundere waifu

Why even live?

>161 years old

Still breeding age for an Aes Sedia, even better if they release themselves from the Oaths.

>it's a gawyn being an idiot episode

>it's a Red discovering the joys of casual sex with men episode

>it's a braid tugging episode

>it's a Rand is at least twice as smart as Egwene but she thinks he has fewer brain cells than fingers episode

>it's a Cadsuane doesn't take any shit episode

>it's a closeup of dresses and embroidery episode

>It's low cut sequinned circus outfit episode

>it's a Aviendha and Elayne bathe together episode

>tfw WoT will get more popular than GoT Sup Forums will start saying GoT is the superior show even though its been shit for four seasons

I feel like any live action is doomed to fail. It really needs an anime to reach it's potential.

>it's a Rand has erotic dreams episode

>>sony

>it's a Rand break the world episode
ends with Rand waking up implying it was all a dream

100% Lan

Probably. Even something like the actors salaries will torpedo the budget.
Lets say they utterly butcher it to two books per season; not getting In to the whole host of other issues that causes, that's still seven years or maybe more. GoT is at that period currently, and it's clearly being absolutely murdered by increasing actor costs

this, also they all get along

And Forsaken are all white men.

I read the first book a few years ago and lost interest

>it's a Mat making fake elaborate backstories episode.

>Sony

Literally a cash grab or money laundering scheme.

Instant trash.

>it's a nynaeve gets BLACKED episode

Aeil and everyone from two rivers are safe, since it's a plot point that Rand both looks like the former and is enough like the latter that he doesn't appear to be an obvious outsider.
I suppose it will be a good canary to see if they're willing to butcher the plot for virtue signalling good boy points.

that actually makes me optimistic.

imagine if the two cancel each other out, and we get KINO instead.

that would be neat as fuck, but cost way too much money to ever film.

>tfw no Verrin of the Brown to be your plump saucy barmaid with ink stained fingers reading a book while on your knee episode.

>no faile fucks you like a harvest girl in saldea episode

>no lanfear molests you in exchange for saving you from the grolm episode

>no I WIN AGAIN LEWS THERIN episode

It's like if people in ASOIAF were concerned about the impending apocalypse rather than who is king of what

>It's a Nynaeve tugs her braid episode
>It's a Rand is dark and brooding episode
>It's a Perrin bitches about his awesome wolf powers episode
>It's a Mat is the only redeeming factor episode
>It's a Egwene moans about Rand looking at another girl while trying to fuck anything that moves episode
>It's a Tom suddenly reveals a new skill he has never demonstrated before that just so happens to get the group out of a jam episode

It will be the superior show, despite being shit.

Lan is literally asian

I just hope they kill Elayne the only character who did everything wrong all the time and never got humbled. ruined the entire book, at the end I was just skipping all her shit.

Lanfear we know that's you he picked Elayne get over it

I don't care if they cast him as Asian but they better find a non-manlet

hmmmmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

has anyone made a rolling for casting chart? considering WoT has about 2-3k named characters, could easily fill with numbers 000-999 if I feel autistic/bored enough

hehehehhehehehehhe

...

>it's a Sony produced episode

>it's an Ishamael waxes poetic about the inevitability of the Dark One's triumph over reality episode
>it's a Graendal's boobies bounce while she dances the sa'sara episode, and maybe Berelain is there too in tight, thin clothing episode
>it's a Lanfear can do nothing but masturbate impotently in the corner while Chad al'Thor fucks all THREE of his wives and Lews Therin is just enjoying it episode
>it's an Aginor and Balthamel are resurrected into female bodies and the latter feels his sexual preferences were ""expanded"" because of it episode
>it's a Be'lal gets balefired before he does anything important episode
>it's a Rahvin dickmatizes Morgase so hard he can literally fondle other women on his lap in front of her and she's still wet for him episode
>it's a Moghedien gets collared by Nynaeve episode
>it's a Semirhage literally kills a man by over-stimulating his pleasure receptors episode
>it's a Sammael is insecure over being a manlet episode
>it's a Messana is mindbroken by Egwene episode
>it's a Lews Therin Telamon cucks Demandred so hard both in using the Power and with women that the mere thought of him evokes an autistic screeching frenzy
>it's a "Who Killed Asmodean" subplot arc that goes unsolved for ten years

Okay, answer me seriously. Should I bother reading all of those books? The answer is no for GoT, but what about WoT?

All I can see is Mickey Mouse

>described as 6'6, blue eyed guy with a jaw that makes Pat Tillman look like a pussy

yeah, typical Asian right there

read 1-6
skip 7 and 8 (these are awful
arguably skip 9 except the last chapter
skip 10 (this is the worst book in existence)
read 11-14 (absolute kino)