My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy – the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for...
Grayson Miller
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
William Ortiz
>comedies will never have writing this funny again
Robert Sanchez
I ritualistically shave my testicles every morning.
Noah Foster
looking back, these movies were actually funny; except for the 2nd one for some reason.
Oliver Barnes
.
Jordan Russell
I think the third one was the unfunny one.
Gabriel Sanders
This is the best scene in all of the trilogy and you could make a case that it's one of the top ten funniest scenes ever:
Samuel Torres
The third one sucked because Goldmember was shit, but the scene posted right here made it worth the admission.
Joseph Evans
Yeah that was pretty cool.
Lincoln Phillips
>le random quirky stuff xD
Nice reddit monologue.
Nathan Fisher
shut up brother
Levi Green
fuck off 2000s kid this movie is a classic
Matthew White
1 > 2 > 3
youtube.com
Joseph Mitchell
It wasn't random at all you eggplant. You've completely missed the point.
Jason Long
Benjamin Johnson
that's funny though
Justin Richardson
His delivery of "Pretty standard, really" gets me every time and has actually ended up in my dialogue since I was a kid.
Julian Morales
>tfw this movie came out 20 years ago
Ryan Moore
The third one was the bad one. Not a single original joke in, total rehash of the other two
Jeremiah Morris
When he was younger, my friend worshiped Mike Myers and it's ingrained in his mannerisms. It's like having MM around all of the time.
Andrew Cook
Dude, that is... SO random, dude. Dude. Random.
Henry Morales
I can't watch these movies anymore, I just find them irritating.
Kayden Bailey
And also funny. People who don't understand silly or ridiculous humor should be fed to sharks.
Parker Davis
le sharks of DOOOOOO??? xD
Kevin Reed
>Forgetting the shaved balls by a zoroastrian part
You fucked up
Jayden Price
no it's not.. is this british hour or something?
Grayson Lee
webbed toes!!! xD
Adrian Ortiz
sounds comfy as fuck
>tfw no autistic icon-emulating friend
Isaac Evans
i think it went over your head
Thomas James
HOW 'BOUT NOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU CRAZY DUTCH BASTARD