Today is Jay's birthday

Today is Jay's birthday.

He turned 37.

What movie will he watch to celebrate?

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Black Hawk Down In My Ex Girlfriend

probably something only one tick above plebcore that allows him to think he's the 'smart one' of the group

>37
>no family, no children
gay much?

probably what Mike wants

mike and rich's sex tape

Poor Little White Boy

the cuckold

Imagine how sad it would be if jay made this post.

Jay is my least favorite member of the group.

t. aids moby

Jay is the most fuckable of all the RLM crew. Mike and Rich are always so sad because they have to smell a different pussy stink on Jay everyday.

I didn't know he was that old

There is no way Jay is 37

So what if he is gay? Wake up user, it's 2017 and it's fine to be gay.

Unironically this.

>Mike is just 1 year older
>Looks about 15 years older

Sad!

Even ironic alcoholism does unironic damage

Manlets age very slowly.

Pretty much the only good thing about being a manlet.

This, but semi-ironically, just not completely

newfags don't remember when jay said aishwarya is hot as fuck

he's not gay faggots

>its fine to be gay
no, its actually a pretty sad and lonely existence of ass fucking and spooge in the eyes. Not really something you want to dabble in unless you are a self-hating person

How would you know?

A gay man can appreciate the aesthetics of a woman as much as a straight man can appreciate other men

>Mike Jay and Rich are 37
>Mike and Rich look like they're pushing 50 and Jay looks like he's in his early 30s.

I like Jay. He's got a pretty keen eye and mind for film. I would say 'shame he never did anything with it' but I think he's happy with RLM, working with Mike and Rich.

Of the core four, Jack is my least favorite, mostly because of his political bullshit and virtue signaling atheism that shows up once in a while. He still seems like a kind man, though.

I miss Jessi, though. :(

I want to cuddle Jay!

Don't be fat, kids

>Rich looks like hes pushing 50
blatantly false

Jay has "ugly teen" syndrome.
He mental self-image is of the the bucktoothed duckman with shitty hair he was way way back in the beginning.
He needs Mike because Mike is the "spine" of the group.

I don't think Jay is 37.
And Rich is actually much older than Mike or Jay.

Rich is 41
he said so in a livestream a year ago that he was 40

>The Phantom Menace plinkett review is almost a decade old

That was the day Star Wars died

You might have the gay user

>we are further away from that review than the review was to Attack of the Clones

Apparently one year they got together and had a Friday the 13th marathon on his birthday. I wish I had friends

Damn I thought he was the youngest. And if he is how the fuck old are Mike and Rich?

>37

Clerks, obviously.

that and lifting
my gym bro is like 5' 5" and gains quicker than me

Past a certain age, a man without a family can be a bad thing.

Jay Bauman is my spirit animal

Do you think that Mike ever thinks about sexually assaulting Jay? it'd be easy for him

Not even for sexual pleasure just as a power excersise at this point after all these years of being together if Jay had not assumed himself as the submissive part of this duo he would have left years ago to try his hand at his own independant venture. It'd be easy for Mike to set up a Re-View taping and when they are sitting face to face on their chairs Mike would only need to stick out his un-erect penis out of his pants and go on with the tapping as if nothing were happening.

Soon enough Jay would have no choice but to crawl from his seat and put Mike's member on his mouth, hoping for it get erect inside the warmth of his mouth. Why hasn't it happened yet? They could even offer the footage as a Patreon incentive.

Jay was born in 1980.

Mike in 1978.

Rich in 1977.

He's not much older than them. He was in high school at the same time as Mike.

>mfw

He's just a fatass

>Not even for sexual pleasure just as a power excersise at this point after all these years of being together

Whoever wrote this copypasta has literally never had a friend.

1981 here. Being childless at this age is a pathetic existence. One day I'll be bored enough to end it

Delete this

I want you to poz my neg hole

Because hes not fucking obese

Being fit/athletic helps your image so much

I'm pretty sure Jay was born in 1979

He doesn't need to rape Jay to assert authority. He does it every episode with his words

>We're here today to talk about MovieX. What did you think, Jay?
>Well, Mike, I think I really liked it. It had so-
>I thought it was shit.
>Oh, uh, what about that sce-
>Shiiiiiiiit
>I guess it wasn't that good...
>What do you think, Rich Evans?
>*laughs hysterically for several minutes without saying anything comprehensible*

So what if I'm a pedophile that fucks babies. Time to get woke! it's literally the year 2016+1 and its okay to fuck babies.

40 Year-Old Virgin.
>only three more years!

Take one look at /lgbt/ and tell me it's ok. It's mental illness: the board.

>most fuckable
not his autistic personality

Jay > Mike > Rich = Jessi > Jack >> Josh

actual official rankings

It's okay.

Clearly Jesse had an issue.

Actually, not memeing now. WTF happened to Jesse? She literally disappeared and they ban commenting about her on most of their media.

She clearly was just a "Let's get my gf on the show!" thing and whenever she and whoever she was fucking broke up, they didn't want to talk about her any more

idiot, she was clearly with mike. you can see them constantly looking at each other whilst others are talking on old BotW
also she was better than jack or josh
i'm pretty sure she got a bit disgusted after reading so many comments about her so she quit

Why the fuck do guys always do this?

She was only better than Jack insofar as Jack has revealed himself to have the most cuckolded politics in the world for a Farmboy.

>she was better than jack or josh
wow what a high bar

The girl Jay banged and did a BOTW was pretty hot

Mike defiantly lets it be know that he doesn't really care about anything anymore and Jay cares enough to review the film at hand. It sometimes shocks me how little effort Mike puts in on screen when he owns the company.

"Lauren I'm dying"
I bet jay's a super annoying drunk.

>RLM are entering the age in their life where if they don't get their shit together and exercise they're gonna have heart attacks

wew lad

>being this mad about gays

I forget all of the details of this story but I remember it being hilarious and pathetic. Recap?

I know it involved Jay being an internal virgin and cuckolded by... Mike?

Remember when they used to go to cons and had friends come in and play characters like the cop chick and they used to interview random people like the milwuakee watchman? Those were the best episodes. Now we are lucky if they bother to review a noncapeshit movie

They work as hard as they want to not as hard as they can and I think that alone is rather saddening to see anyone do.

When mike is forced outside his comfort zone he is almost like a professional comedian. When he doesn't have to try he just does the same alcoholic gag episode after episode.

>37
>looks like 25
How is that even possible?

>37

fuck sake, everything stop getting old!!

Hobbit Magic

Back to your MtF containment board.

>gag
Haha

Whenever there's a thread commenting on some actor or actresses' age some faggot always says this, fucking why?

Who fucking cares if people have kids or a wife let them fucking do whatever they want

Seriously why do manlets have better facial genetics? I'm 6'3 but I look like a fucking monster. Wish I was 5'9

post the collage

You'll still be ugly even if you had stopped growing at 5'9".

Nordic genes vs. Germanic genes

That's probably the fault of their friends more than anything. The likelihood of all those friends still being in the area and available to drop in as a guest is less likely as time goes on.
Remember that Gillian chick, she lives in Texas.

if i look as good as jay at 37 ill be happy as ever

>unironically ripping off lines from a TV show

I would bet that Jay is married with kids but is sensible enough to keep his personal life off the internet

It's obvious from his livestream appearances that Jay is much more organised and prepared than the others. I remember him saying that if RLM went down overnight he'd be fine, whereas Jack and Rich would be fucked if Pre Rec went down

Rich = Mike > Jay > Jessi > Josh >>>>>>>>> Random guest >>>> Jack

Tbh Jack has had some great moments.

Also I actively avoid anything that doesn't have both Mike and Jay in because they work so well together. Rich is the best add on.

I watched Black Hack Down when I turned 42 this month.

>37
>his lifes work consists of entertaining children on social media platform and "it's bad on purpose ;)" movie

It's not just me right? Mike is a legitimately funny guy and could do proper movies?

Jay, I can't and won't make this any simpler for you.

You failed at life. You failed. When one thinks of what man is capable of, pushing himself to the limits physically, mentally and emotionally to achieve heights of success never before mentioned, your name will not be whispered in the same, reverent fashion that others have.

Nobody will remember Jay Bauman. You aren't even a header or a footer in the career of someone else. You are nobody. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

In short, you are an enormous failure.

Jay, being that you're about 30 years old and your brain has probably hard-wired itself to accept such failures by now and write off such criticism by being "flippant", really suggests that you've passed beyond the proverbial breaking-point. There's no turning back. This is your career, this is what defines you and this is what you'll defend to the end.

The abhorrent failure that is Red Letter Media, Jay Bauman, that is your legacy.

Maybe I'm over-reaching, however. Who knows? People CAN change. Maybe you'll read this, Jay, and think long and hard about what a wasteful life you've led. Maybe you'll think, "wow. It's incredible just how abysmal and pathetic I really AM!" Maybe you'll lift some weights in the morning. Maybe you'll take a self-help class.

Maybe in a couple of years, Jay, you'll have learned from this failure. I doubt it, though.

I genuinely doubt it.

>implying that line isn't a meme here

When he's not reviewing shitty movies he's very funny. But I think he has social problems. Whenever he has to talk to someone outside RLM he never looks at them in the eyes and he kind of shifts around and wrings his hands like someone with autism

>It turns out Jay is the outgoing Chad interacting with people to get business for RLM while Mike is the nervous beta orbiter hiding behind Jay.

Who was this pasta originally about?

Did Mike invent the use of "normies?" This video is actually from early 2012.
youtu.be/87HKe0ggt34?t=4m8s

some form of hardcore interracial gay pornography