Modern horror movie

>modern horror movie
>door shuts violently
>woman gets dragged by her feet by invisible force
>demon crawls on walls and ceiling
>lights flickering
>kid makes creepy drawings
>fade music out three seconds before jumpscare

>normies face when they see all that

Horror flicks today are just amusement rides for normies

>demon crawls super fast on walls and ceiling directly at the camera
ftfy

Imagine being this scared by a movie

LOUD NOISES

>Title card appears from black accompanied by windchimes and whispering
>It's named some stupid shit like "Dead Forest"

>character turns and their face is radically different

>tension bulding scene
>camerca slowly pans through house hallway implying there something hidden behindthe corner
>literally just carbon copies of that mulholland rive scene outside the diner

>figure standing in the darkness a few feet away
>suddenly start sprinting towards the camera while a loud screeching noise plays
>cut to black

>human crawls on floor, eats bugs

I literally get angry when most of these happen. Especially the shit where they try and make kids scary or the shit you mentioned about the jumpscare coming a few seconds after the music, like wow I didn't expect that.

How do I make myself a normie? Tired of hating everything

>horror movie
>the characters' second names all come from famous horror writers, actors and directors

>half of the entire movie is just the family getting settled in to their new house and doing normal shit
>starts with spirits moving shit and randomly appearing while disappearing before someone gets a good look at them, but arbitrarily wratches up
Pretty much every ghost film ever. It's not only been done to death, but was never really a compelling story structure, because there's very little to it. A film has to have visuals as good as The Shining, (which actually has a more complex form of haunting than most of these films), and pretty much no ghost film can compare well with The Shining.

>character hears noise behind them
>turns to look
>Nothing
>Turns back monster/killer/demon/ayy is in front of them

>second names

You mean 'surnames'? What's your first language?

>arbitrarily wratches up
>wratches
?

Anyone who says that a mainstream horror movie is good is the literal definition of a brainlet. IT being such a success proves that the majority of filmgoers are morons

>character walk into bathroom
>stands in front of the medicine cabinet and looks into the mirror
>nothing behind him
>opens medicine cabinet
>closes it
>suddenly someones behind him visible in the mirror

To be fair, a lot of the horror movies that Sup Forums claims are great suck too. I'm looking at you Lake Mungo and Kill List.

>tension building scene
>character approaches a corner/a door/a curtain
>a cat jumps out as the music screeches, making your eyes jump out of your head

b-but it struck a chord with so many demographics across the board. I-it has transcended the genre of horror and h-has also become a coming of age story

>person stares at demon in a different room
>demon comes extremely fast while flailing limbs and screeching
>scene ends

Yes, thank you for pointing out that mistake. I really didn't know that was the right term. I'm serious.

>tfw its a double bluff where the cat pops out, diffuses the tension, and then the jump scare happens

I'm genuinely curious as to what you meant though. You mean like they very clearly saw a ghost but then just go about things as normal the next day without saying anything?

>the movie makes you believe there is an eerie force residing in a haunted house
>actually it's a CGI monster with a laughably stupid design

What about The Wailing? But yes, in general, nothing can compare to the best of the best, like Rosemary's Baby or Possession.

>haunted house movie
>has a very simple one or two word name that sounds generic and makes the movie even harder to remember among its peers

This is why It Comes At Night is the greatest horror kino in many years but half of Sup Forums's plebs still just don't get it.

I still get The Last House on the Left and House at the End of the Street mixed up.

>the trailer shows a heart-stoppingly scary scene
>it's the only scary scene in the movie and the music isn't as scary as it was in the trailer

I want to murder every LA faggot that has agreed to overreact at a screen for two hours (probably for free too)

>its a "anonymous contrarians alien to human emotions gather in the pedophile imageboard to mock modern movie trends and feel good about how intellectually superior they are while gatekeepping 'real horror' and waiting to pirate the latest horror movies anyway because they like to masturbate to and discuss 14 year old girls' episode

Yes being not scary and not having jumpscares makes it the bestest ever.
Am I contrarian enough now guys?

The only thing Rosemary's Baby is the best at is putting me to sleep. More than two hours of literally nothing happening.

but do you think the mulholland drive scene was good? I loved it

Oculus, Ouija, Sinister, Insidious, The Conjuring, A Haunting, Paranormal Activity, Ghost House, Haunted House, The Attic

>>woman gets dragged by her feet by invisible force
>>demon crawls on walls and ceiling

Is this the fault of j-horror and k-horror becoming popular in the west in the last decade? With The Ring and Gothika etc?

>it's an user quotes the wrong post episode
>it's an user assumes everybody on the board drools over cunny episode
>it's an user defends formulaic Hollywood bullshit episode

>scary music cue
>it's just their husband/wife

yeah they should be masturbating to 12 year old girls instead

horror movies are so fucking shit tier now, I can watch them and with 100% accuracy know exactly when a jump scare will happen, it's not even fun to watch anymore

>surname
you mean last name?

Probably yeah

There's more to horror than being surprised by jump scares. You're probably just jaded and wouldn't be scared by movies that you saw when you were younger.

>whining about gatekeeping
kek, someone got gatekept. gid gud or die trying, cuck.

>protagonist visits a psychiatric hospital
>listens to a bunch of cryptic nonsense from an old inmate

you mean your Christian language

Couldn't you say that about nearly every mainstream flick? Action movies, comedy movies, etc.

If you didn't comprehend the subtlety of Guy's betrayal, what he did just for a career boost, and how horrific it really is, you're a pleb. Rosemary's Baby is one of the most relevant horrors for that very reason, as it's subtle enough to be realistic while at the same time depicting truly horrific events.

And "nothing happening" and "boring" are non-criticisms also, the former making the false assumption that something has to "happen" for a film to be worthwhile, and the latter being you just spewing the inherent emotional state you experienced during the film.

What a brainlet reply

Rosemary's Baby might not be very scary like a movie filled with tension and horrific imagery, but it's a classic for a reason. It's realistic in a way that few horror movies are and really gets in the head of the character.

What about pic related? Why are all the plebs on this board whining about Hollywood schlock while ignoring the few worthwhile films out there?

That guy just doesn't get actually good horror movies

>false assumption that something has to "happen" for a film to be worthwhile
I'd let this one slide but putting "happen" in quotes triggered me. Like, what the hell does that mean? Shit happening in movies is arbitrary now?

>it's a classic for a reason
Reason being, people didn't have many points of reference back then. Anything above average was named classic 20 years later. Most of those classics are unwatchable today.

This was more of a comedy than a horror. I don't get why people think it was scary. Or even unsettling really.

>protagonist visits a new not yet spoopy place
>listens to a bunch of cryptic nonsense from a geriatric or a child or the infirmed
>spoop starts

>Shit happening in movies is arbitrary now
Yes, in this case, when you claim nothing "happens" when in fact plenty does happen.
>polanski
>unwatchable
You really have nothing to say, huh? Just a pleb spewing nonsense.

>Most of those classics are unwatchable today.
No they're not. Maybe if your brain is on the wavelength of modern cinema. Nowadays it's constant camera movement and emotionally manipulative score, all the time. If you watch a lot of that kind of movie you get addicted to it, like you get addicted to pornography. A movie like Rosemary's Baby will appear dated and boring to you. But that's a subjective opinion. I can watch it just fine and enjoy it, while a James Wan movie is enough to make me puke.

>No one does it to you like Roman Polanski

>the last house at the end of the street on the left

Pic related is Polanski in The Tenant

That guy's face in top left though

What do you mean "in this case"? You were talking about movies in general.

btw polanski became watchable in the 90s.

I'm just living in the now and I don't see why that's a bad thing. Old movies just don't relate to our zeitgeist.

ratchets up?

>I'm just living in the now and I don't see why that's a bad thing. Old movies just don't relate to our zeitgeist.
Your current "zeitgeist" is basically big studios injecting bullshit directly into your vein to make you a brainless zombie consumer.

>le nihilistic approach
1/5

...

>calling out harmful trends is nihilistic

>You were talking about movies in general.
No, I was responding to your baseless statements in regards to Rosemary's Baby.
>btw polanski became watchable in the 90s.
Polanski's best film came out in '74.

>horror movie
>involves a young child in the horror

So, I’ve been thinking about a theory lately, regarding Jumpscares.

I saw this video, wherein it’s a dude trying to capture a bigass fakespider with a box. He slams the box on the thing, and suddenly the screen is like 90% spider. It’s not clever or really scary at all, but it’s playing DEEP on my fear of spiders. It makes me wonder: are jump scares scarier with the addition of an element that frightens someone specifically? Like, if you know the thing that might jump out at you, and the threat’s been established, will that enhance a simple jump scare?

When the same thing happened in Alien Covenant I was nonplussed. This has scarred me for a couple days now.

you didn't call out any trends, you just gave the old "evil corporations" speech.

>false assumption that something has to "happen" for a film to be worthwhile
wasn't this a generalisation?

and no, it was in 94

>"These murders/disappearances... its happened before!"

fuck off already

>I have a theory that things you are more scared of scare you more

Seriously?

No, I mean surname.

That one doesn't make sense.