Kelly does it again!

Kelly does it again!

Other urls found in this thread:

theintercept.com/2016/01/26/ha-ha-hillary-clintons-top-financial-supporter-now-controls-the-onion/
theonion.com/article/female-presidential-candidate-who-was-united-state-52367
twitter.com/JumpVote/status/797843232436748288
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

remember when democrats bought the onion just so they could publish hillary propaganda and get young people to vote her but it backfired because it was completely disgusting and instead a meme about a frog got them to support trump and it was branded a hate speech simbol wich it still is today?

I 'member

I don't get it, why can't he get news from him?

see the tissues and ky jelly?

Cause he masturbated to megan Kelly

Only 3 posts in and this Kelly thread is already garbage. You've reached new lows, Sup Forums.

>Lube
>Tissues
>No pants
Come on, user.

>no crying Lady Liberty

The tissues are for his tears, though. Who the fuck masturbates using tissues?

What kind of pencil dick needs lube to masturbate?

Leave it to Sup Forums to ruin everything

t. Big dick anons with an axe to grind

losers who only masturbate once a day and have not built up a colossus level metal member from beating their meat to near submission for dozens of years.

no one on Sup Forums obviously.

It's a widely known visual shorthand to imply masturbation without actually showing it. Like how doctors are still depicted with head mirrors despite those having mostly gone out of use decades ago, because it's an easy way to convey that thing to the audience without being explicit.

Chuckled.

>those drawn curtains

It's the little details that make Kelly comics so great

>They need tools to help them masturbate

Prone masturbation masterrace reporting.

Apparently circumcised people gotta use lube to whack it.

America is weird.

All I use is my spit.

>no celebrities crying with him from the sky

Megyn Kelly is getting old and busted, it's time to replace her anyways.

Don't need to, but it makes it a lot easier.

For me it's the lit candles.

Not as easy as having a foreskin. It's like smooth silk wrapping your dick with every stroke.

Oh jeez

>shit you just made up

>I need justification for my vote for Trump

I remember when The Onion got weird because half their articles didn't seem to be satire anymore. I also remember when I stopped reading them because they made their site pay to visit.

The justification is that I hate Muslims and that liberal tears are delish

>they made their site pay to visit
That also didn't happen.

Yes it did. I went there one day and it told me I could view 5 articles for free, after which I'd have to pay them. I never went back after that.

Those are really shitty reasons to vote for someone. Xenophobia and making people you don't like upset.

>making people you don't like upset

You don't say.

Well, I've never had to pay for it so you might want to check again. I already did.

I do say.

Hey, where''s the crying Statue of Liberty?

Uhh, how else do you clean\catch everything?

Any other times where people did this you want to denounce?

I'm giving you a really wide, fair chance here to not look like you hold double standards here.

Please go all out.

Look outside your window, Boco,

a man needs his privacy

I can't get off unless someone is watching me and crying.

>jerkin his dick with more dick
what a fag

I'm not really sure what you're talking about here. I just think it's a really shitty idea to vote for someone because you don't like their opposition rather than the merit as a potential president.

>remember when democrats bought the onion
No.

I'm not reading the rest of the post because it all starts with a "Child sex ring in the back of a pizza shop"-tier retarded premise.

kek

>White male tears
>white tears
>male tears

Can't Cuck the Tuck.

Yeah, everyone hates SJWs for that kind of shit. What's your point?

I see trees and some--wait. Wait. No, just more trees.

Kinda ranting.

aim for your mouth, idiot

Fine, but two wrongs don't make a right.

CTR pls leave

Absolutely.

One doesn't justify the other.

Is that a dead eagle or a choked chicken?

...

holy shit, amazing

Have we ever been in a state where George Kelly DIDN'T do it again?

>George

That shitpost has nothing to do with this thread and shouldn't have happened but it is somewhat based on a true story.

theintercept.com/2016/01/26/ha-ha-hillary-clintons-top-financial-supporter-now-controls-the-onion/

theonion.com/article/female-presidential-candidate-who-was-united-state-52367

Remember when trump paid some prostitutes to piss on each other?

source?

>A person who owns a share of the company that runs the Onion likes Clinton
>That means the Onion has been hijacked by the DNC
I'm sorry mate but you shouldn't be encouraging this exercise, lots of people end up pulling a muscle when they stretch too much.

Hillary still won the popular vote, so I don't think that backfired

I don't think the million-odd foreigners who voted without ID were onion readers, on the whole.

Are there any other namefags who post here perpetually or is it just Boco?

Your post sucks by the way

Having lots of retweets doesn't make something true user.
twitter.com/JumpVote/status/797843232436748288

You can't vote if your not a citizen,
Nice try though trumptrooper

I just use my precum, the intended lubricant

I'm circumcised and I masturbated for at least a year before it even occurred to me to use lotion.

I've masturbated thousands of times and I've probably used lotion like 50

To be fair, most people do that at least once during their lives.

lmao, is this something people believe.

I'm glad I didn't pay attention to this shitshow at all.

Don't you have some SRS threads to make, faggot?

Someone can't handle the banter.

You're going to break your dick that way, man.

It sort of obviously did since Dems failed to show up to the polls like they did for Obama the first time around and she didn't even get the majority of the vote like he did both times.

I don't even know what what he said means.

Oh it means humping the bed. That does seem stupid.

Come on user.

And you believe the popular vote means shit, so it turns out you're both retarded

Wrong person you maroon.

So let's do this dance
>Popular Vote
>Don't mean shit
>But Democracy
>We ain't no Democracy
>How American
>Fuck Big Cities
>Fuck Representational Voting Systems
And nobody comes to any sort of understanding and we do it the next thread where somebody thinly steers the conversation towards Trump.
Also Russia

Not him, but I have no fucking idea how to masturbate. Grew up in a very Christian home, so no instruction, yeah? And it's not like anyone seems to need instructions on whacking it.

I tried doing the jerk up and down thing, but I can't get off from that. It just doesn't happen.

I'm broken.

He should watch Naked News.

>No instruction
Do you think NonReligious Families teach their kids to jerk it?
Also how have you been cumming all this time?

You need to abstain from masturbation for like a month and then masturbate the 'normal' way to fix that

I hear you might not be able to get off during sex if you masturbate like that

>And nobody comes to any sort of understanding and we do it the next thread

This. Every god damn time. Did nobody pay attention in their high school U.S. government class?

>Muh popular vote
>Muh democracy

We Are a REPUBLIC. Yes I mad.

People are stupid. They will also happily be wrong in order to push their agenda.

>Not Cucker Tarlson

You had ONE JOB

That's not coming to an understanding either.
I understand people's grievances and I understand why we'd keep the electoral system. Though ironically those grievances will probably get stronger as the reasons we keep it do as well.

Also to be fair America rides the DEMOCRACY meme pretty hard but rarely cares to explain we actually just mean we're a collection of Democracies

I thought this one was more obvious and less metaphoric.
The old Fox president hired women based on sex appeal to cast news. Now that its changed, he can't jack off to Fox newscasters anymore.

Less arguing, more Kelly

WHERES THE LIBERTY, KELLY?!

Behind the Curtain

Aw man, I love Crash Team Racing.

>Play as anyone other than Tiny

i giggled

Kelly isn't hip with the lingo Today's Teens use user.

Definitely another unironic Kelly. It's pretty fucking obvious that's the industry standard for female newscasters, and even that Fox takes it up a notch.

>instead a meme about a frog got them to support trump
>Sup Forumsjews taking credit for Trump's long-standing pop-culture presence, and decades of GOP shitting on the Clintons
Sup Forums needs to leave the basement.

You don't win chess by having the most pieces on the board, friend.

paper towels > tissues