ALAN!

ALAN!

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=nerv5YEiJok
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

...

Holy shit

ALAN! Everyone in this film is an unlikable asshole! Get off this plane while you can!

Lovecraftian.

Dr Alan, I'm veloCIrAptor

ALAN! What happened to your sense of principals? You told those kids at the university nothing could get you back on those islands yet the Kirby’s showed what a weak character you have by floating a couple 0’s in your face in a shitty country steak grill. I hope they paid for your meal too.

someone make a 9/11 edit

Was there ever any real point to a Jurassic Park movie after the first one? It seems like a really limited concept to me and I love dinosaurs.

Didn't grant cash the check first? Kirby said later the check was bogus

...

Even the second book was forced upon Crichton. He didn't want to do it. But universal needed a book so they could use it to make a script for the movie

ALAN! Do you enjoy being a cuck? Ellie left you after a traumatic experience for a younger more wealthy man and you still come around her house to baby sit her retarded child. Why are you still friends with her Alan? It’s really pathetic. She must be a good friend.

I think the Lost World could have been amazing if they ironed out some of the plot holes and generally stupid characters.

That one did have some pretty promising aspects. It was more frightening than the original too.

God forbid I wouldn’t know why you wouldn’t try cashing it first before you go on a stupid trip like that.

>has only seen JP1 raptors
>dreams of new as-of-yet unseen JP3 raptor
FUCKING WHY?

How did he know that the JP3 raptors could talk?

...

ALAN! Billy probably set up the entire thing from the beginning. Back at the camp when you first met Mr Kirby they introduced on first name basis like they already had met before. Billy snuck him in and has been using his connection with you this entire time. He’s a cocky young guy that doesn’t seem to mind that people are getting murdered around him. Hell he likely set up the entire thing so he could smuggle something off the island which you eventually discover he was doing because for some reason you wouldn’t let him carry his own self proclaimed lucky bag! Hey didn’t Sarah Harding also have a lucky bag last movie too? Never mind, you weren’t in that flick. But Billy is smuggling those raptor eggs and jeopardizing the lives of everyone and refuses to give them up even after the raptors kill someone. Hell they damn near killed you if it weren’t for the convenience of that resourceful ass kid showing up. Odd that he was so selfish all of a sudden in saving that kid after he almost got everyone killed by the raptors. Shame he’s seemingly suicided. But at least your stuck on this island with the Kirby’s now! Also why did you keep holding onto the raptor eggs after he died instead of just getting rid of them? Convenient you didn’t when those raptors show up suddenly right before you’re also convientlu rescued by the military. All Billy’s fault still. But it’s a good thing he survived! After being pecked by three foot long beaks, washing down the river against jagged rocks through rapids, making it all the way down the river without being eaten by other dinosaurs, or succumbing to infection from numerous nasty shit on this tropical island swarming with mosquitoes he somehow gets picked up by the military that just arrived in the nick of time to save you despite him floating down a different direction of the river. That asshole somehow lived through all that. But hey he saved your hat.
Billy is a good friend.

Think the Kirby family served jail time after the events of JP3? They broke international law, hired (most likely) illegal mercenaries, got multiple people killed, and technically committed kidnap of Billy and Dr Grant by bribing them with money they didn’t have.

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE LOL!

Welcome to Jurassic BRAAP

DINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

...

anyone got the clever girl meme strip?

This and his reaction to it is the best part and why it is really scary, more so than simply a jumpscare. It is actually the type of methodology that HP Lovecraft used in most of his works. The way the characters react to the stuff makes it much more than what it would normally be. This is because we empathize with the characters. The more we empathize and project ourselves onto them, the more profound the effect becomes.

The more you empathize and project yourself, the more profound the effect becomes.

Pretty good.

Inception + Jurassic Park + Darl Knight Rises = Masterpiece?

Imagine being Rexy in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Spinosaurus, you fuckin' apex predator, all sexy with your scaly body and horrific crocodylus monster face. I would totally let you snap my spine, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is eat another 6 ton triceratops in his territory. Like seriously imagine having to be Rexy and not only stand in that canopy while Spinosaurus flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her bitemarks and mannish arms, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that roar and neck snap. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's THE NEW T-REX and DAMN, SPINOSAURUS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch her prehistoric fucking crocodile face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been eating nothing but a healthy diet of Parasaurolophuses and Gallimimuses and later alleged InGen bite victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the jungles in Isla Sorna. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the blood that's breaking out on her crumpled sail from the plane crash as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in her "theropodesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with Jack Horner in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill and eat every single person on the set before the studio security could put you down with tranquilizers, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Rexy. You're not going to lose your future sequel career over this. Just bear it. Hide your severed spine and bear it.

"Regret giving us that shitty Chili and Sea bass yet Hammond?"

Goldblum told him what happened in Jurassic Park 2.
youtube.com/watch?v=nerv5YEiJok

He's no Nick Van Owen. Fuck property owners who want to exercise their legal rights, abominations of science have rights!

...

True shit posting

>they move in turds

This is why I come here