Daredevil Storytime (Part 9)

Welcome back Anons! Last time, the Yakuza tried taking over Hell's Kitchen, only to be reminded this is a setting with superheroes.
Now, let's see what Black Widow is doing.

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Hey, woulda commented on last thread, but it died by the time I got up.

And, sadly, will also not be able to stay up all of tonight's either.

Have a snip from the last thread.

Oh yeah, and Matt got married offpanel. Don't worry about it, apparently he's getting an annulment.

No problem user, it happens.

>the Yakuza tried taking over Hell's Kitchen, only to be reminded this is a setting with superheroes.

The crazy thing about that is that maybe the second or third most important Japanese character in Marvel, Silver Samurai... IS THE HEAD OF A YAKUZA FAMILY.

Hell, by this point, he's the head of a Yakuza family that got saved from the Hand by the fucking Avengers.

Bendis fucking LOVES him some Madame Hydra, and I'll never understand why.

In case you ever wanted to see what the Avengers would look like if Meleev drew them, your wish is granted. I wonder if this is how Bendis sees every superhero. It would explain why he doesn't like the classic Avengers, at least.

I admit, my memory is a bit fuzzy on this, but isn't the Avengers, as an organization, recognized by the United Nations? Meaning this argument shouldn't be happening, since the Avengers aren't answerable to ANY of these people? Or am I misremembering?

I feel like this is something that Bendis is doing because Matt is Catholic and divorce isn't permitted... but Annulments are actually pretty hard to come by.

On the other hand, I am PERFECTLY aware of the fact that SHIELD was outside the control of just one country. I guess this is around the time when Marvel forgot that.

Hell, Bendis USES Silver Samurai for a bit in New Avengers.

Has Bendis EVER referenced that?

I'd say it's the hair, or the green lipstick, but he didn't bother with either.

Or with thinking about the idea that MODOK probably doesn't really do public cafe meetings. It's not like he can Ben Grimm up a hat and trenchcoat to be inconspicuous.

I'm just going to assume he's lying about being related to Strucker to get laid, because you'd expect him to have been killed LONG before now if it was true.

>It's not like he can Ben Grimm up a hat and trenchcoat to be inconspicuous.

Doesn't he have literally THAT happen in the Doctor Doom book?

Or Maybe it was Millar Ultimates influenced.

That's what I was referring too, but I guess I got my timeline messed up because Bendis hasn't killed Hawkeye for being lamer than Wolverine yet.

THAT'S more likely, I suppose.

They were going through all of the books, and when we got to ‘Avengers,’ Mark Millar and I were doing a lot of talking. We were told to feel free to talk, but sometimes we were the only ones talking which can be embarrassing. Mark and I really got into a tizzy about Avengers,” Bendis recalled. “It was just us bitching, saying things like, ‘Why isn’t it really Earth’s Mightiest heroes? What the fuck is Jack of Hearts?’ Then Mark, in his lilting Scottish brogue, said, ‘You know, when I was a wee young lad in Scotland, I would only buy “Justice League” because I would get all of my DC heroes for just 10 cents. It was a bargain and featured some of their greatest characters.’ “I responded, ‘Yeah, why isn’t “Avengers” a book made up of the coolest guys? Why doesn’t it have characters like Spider-Man and Wolverine?’ Then a ruckus broke out in the room. People were screaming and yelling. It was really just madness,” Bendis continued. “So it was me, Mr Schmucky, and Scottish Schmucky coming in and going, ‘Your book sucks! This could be better.’ That’s not what we were doing, but there’s no way that it didn’t come off that way. Meanwhile, as soon as I said that Spider-Man should be an Avenger, people were pounding on the table going, ‘SPIDER-MAN WOULD NEVER BE AN AVENGER!'” CBR

...

Boy, that was a fun storytime.

Oh Christ almighty that is a hideous looking Iron Man.

And when he brings him back, he somehow makes him lamer than he was before.

Yeah, he's the worst one, but I didn't even bother mentioning it.

...

I'm sure there's some readers who still dream of this.

>Meanwhile, as soon as I said that Spider-Man should be an Avenger, people were pounding on the table going, ‘SPIDER-MAN WOULD NEVER BE AN AVENGER!'”

Cut to today, where he's in a bunch of different Avengers teams since.

I really miss pre-Bendis Hawkeye.

A man with no powers but balls enough to fight gods with a bow and arrow.
And occasional bouts of sanity that see him steal Pym Particles because "wait, shit, why am I fighting Graviton with ARROWS"

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What a slut

I didn't like Hawkeye at first, and then I read Thunderbolts, where he was basically the best one.

Mayordevil is an incredibly stupid idea.

Like, at least when Green Arrow goes into politics, it makes sense, because he's been political since Denny O'Neil made him that way to score chicks.

Yeah, Maleev shouldn't draw anyone in skintight shiny leather.

oh no, nameless diplomat has words to say with Nick Fury, im so worried

I like how the coloring highlights her nipples. Like geez.

Only the masochists, I imagine.

Black Widow is not a stable, gentle lover. She'll fuck you, sure, but then all of a sudden you're getting waterboarded in your own bathtub because that guy you work with has an interview with AIM next week.

I read somewhere that there was once a plot where the Soviets gave her a mind control STD, meaning every superhero she banged, who then banged anyone else (which, since it includes Tony Stark and Hercules would probably be more people) would be under their control. Was that legit, or was someone fucking with me?

Oh good, Bendis is going to try and act like he knows how spy agencies work again. That worked SO well for Secret War, after all.

What did you read before Thunderbolts that didn't make you think he was the best until then?

I'm not a Punisher fan, Anons. Nothing against people who are, but I tend to prefer the fantastical to the realistic.

But how the fuck has Frank not killed Jigsaw by now?

Yeah, right. 'Draw.'

It's her secret superpower.

So is this a reference to a pre-Miller page, or was that talk of "that move" something that Bendis made up on the spot?

I've been in enough generals to believe people would make that trade.

Probably the latter.
Bendis doesn't read comics.

Luckily, that never comes to fruition, thank god.

New Avengers.

He's read SOME things, user. You know, like the Doom/Iron Man in Camelot.

>"You know, out with it."
>"No, YOU know. I never know. You know."
>"You know."

This is literally something I'd expect out of a Bendisspeak bit, not something that was actually published.

That doesn't really look like the kind of move you'd see in a pre-Miller comic, no.

I never want to see another close-up shot of Jigsaw again.

God DAMN it, I said no more close-ups!

Seriously, fuck you Bendis.

Okay, this is still dumb, but dumb for a different reason than the Yakuza thinking they can totally take him. At least Jigsaw knows Matt can kick his ass.
Mostly because he already did.

And now the Luke Cage brothers are back.

Eww, his stitches look like maggots haha

Notice Natasha never really gives the token "Sorry for your loss" on his wife leaving, or even a congrats for getting married.

So you don't recognize it then? Worth a shot, I suppose.

Mario Luke Cage and Luigi Luke Cage.

Well, that's one way of ending an issue.

I have no idea why the covers keep making her hair so light. She's practically blonde in the first cover!

Dude, he looked RIGHT at you. Just run.

I thought it was Yelena.

...

They got her confused with the other Black Widow.

You know, most assassins shut the hell up and run when they get found, especially the ones who aren't in costumes.

Fuck Marvel for Killing Her. RIP

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Was that just hidden on the wall as a back-up plan? Because there's NO way he was hiding that thing in his pocket.

What was she in, anyway? I only remember her from Digglebolts and New Avengers, none of which are really worth it.

Why are we still dealing with this guy?

She died in Spencer Secret Avengers in 2012.

...

Her own husband was forced on her by the State. And then he's come back to life like twice and it never really enthuses her.

Nat is not the marrying type. What with being a uterus-less monster

I won't lie, I read that so long ago, I forgot everything that happened in that book.

I am so sick of this twat already.

I think I'm going to use this issue whenever I need to explain Bendis de-compression. We're halfway through the issue, and this could've been told in... what, 3 pages?

Super Luke Cage Brothers. You smash through walls for your money, honey, instead of punching bricks for coins.

See that first panel?
Now look at the sixth panel. No bullet hole, right?

There's a bullethole NOW though. I've heard of magic bullets, but this is ridiculous!

I like to think she's see Matt pull tricks like this so often, she forgot that it's really not as easy as it looks.

...

Are the mushrooms his yellow shirt?

Is that assassin Stallone?

>I won't lie, I read that so long ago, I forgot everything that happened in that book.
She died in 2012 but never came back.

During a rescue mission in which the Secret Avengers tried to rescue Mockingbird from A.I.M. Island, Yelena intercepted and fought the escaping Mockingbird. During the fight, the two of them fell behind a metal gate. Upon emerging, Mockingbird was shot by an A.I.M. operative. The Secret Avengers took her body and escaped in a submarine, only to discover the deceased Mockingbird was actually Yelena, whose belt contained a holo-camouflage device the actual Mockingbird snuck into during the fight.


imgur.com/a/fMAJQ

imgur.com/a/Ksky6

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>What was she in, anyway?

Various Black Widow minis from Marvel Knights, mostly.

No, Natasha, it looked like those woman from last issue were dead.

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Why are all Bendis antagonists such worthless chatterboxes expressing Bendis' own condescension for the nominal main characters?

>Various Black Widow minis from Marvel Knights, mostly.

By Rucka And devin Grayson

Oh right, Jigsaw is in this.

I wouldn't keep harping on the fact that this Black Widow looks blonde, IF THERE WASN'T A BLONDE BLACK WIDOW ALREADY, like and suggested.

I like to imagine that they can hear Fury telling them that he isn't there, and she just has to say "Uh, it's an LMD."

I'm convinced it's because he's ashamed to write cape comics.

Shut your cow-mouth or I'll remove your face before I stop your whore's heart!

Matt, just lie and say you're Mike Murdock again. Worst thing they can do is say you're lying, and they thought that twice already.

youtu.be/lcKPQKxrqT0

>"If one of them ran to the copies and say I kung fu'd he hell out of them, then the front page is 'Matt Murdock IS Daredevil'."

You know, despite unmasking in front of an entire crowd, or beating up a group of armed Yakuza while the FBI was watching.

So basically, despite the entire run up until now treating the fact that "Matt Murdock is Daredevil" is just a fact, legally it's apparently only a theory.