Seeaal Kino Thread

What is your favourite Seagal kino?

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Jesus CHRIST who gives a shit?

holy shit he asked a women to sit on his face what a fucking fag....... FUCK YOU NO ONE CARES

So merely proposing sex to a woman is now a crime?

Honestly I'd be so embarrassed that it was Steven Seagal who asked me to do something that I'd never tell anyone.
Shameful.

Doesn't Seagal live in Russia now?

So now asking something to a woman is literally rape.

Yeah I bet they don't go to the press when he asks them to sit on his face there.

>What is your favourite Seagal kino?

Real talk, is Seagal the only action dude to have never been in a single good film?
Don't get me wrong he's got some films that aren't outright terrible but even his strongest flicks from before he was old and fat are still barely mediocre. How do you even maintain a career with that track record?
His entire existence really is a fascinating oddity.

My older sister was a big fan of his when she was in high school, for some reason.
Thought he was hot shit. Saw all his movies.

Not to mention that he's a comical pathological liar

youtube.com/watch?v=juP1RNE8Vqc

i just want to remind you that shawshank redemption bombed at arrival yanks having a shit taste isn't a new thing

Shawshank Redemption is overrated.

Kek that's like accusing him for insulting someone.

That's probably the tamest thing he's been accused of.

>How do you even maintain a career with that track record?
Strong backing from producers. Him film career started because a student of his that was a film producer developed such a mancrush he vowed to make Seagal a star. His movies were profitable for long enough that he kept getting new projects, and eventually Russian gangsters started hiring him for money laundering projects.

>tfw seagal will never sit on your face

They made money.
His original gimmick was that his action scenes tended to be more brutal and less elegant than others.
Later on, when the gimmick got old, he relied on so bad it's good.

*teleports behind you*

*unsheathes katana*

he has a few good movies (under siege, out for justice) but hes the worst part of these movies and any of the other action stars of the day wouldve done better. Tommy lee jones and gary busey make under siege amazing

Segal was obviously going to get an accusation. What are you going to do, stop him from appearing in straight to VOD flicks?

This. He basically lives in russia and makes dozens of terrible B movies constantly. Hes bullet proof

This is a joke. Are any sexual relations between actors/co-workers now rape?

"yes"

>accusing a guy who wasn't been relevant in hollywood since under siege 2

Women are really fucking dumb. Jesus.

What's wrong with asking a person to sit on your face? Wouldn't it be more humiliating for the one requesting it?

Do you guys even aware of how much bacteria is in a female vagina? Either he's braves or incredibly stupid to flirt with death like that

>wanting women to sit on your face
Lmao, what a beta

Holy fuck Steven Seagal turned into Will Sasso

Great thread you dumb tourist.

If a woman sits on your face, wouldn't their butt be close to your face as well? Why would you want to risk seeing/possibly smelling where poo comes from?

>you told asked an actress to sit on your face nearly 30 years ago

We should burn him alive and throw him UNDER the prison.

>Why would you want to risk seeing/possibly smelling where poo comes from?
or getting pinkeye

...

Good thread

also your face would be close to their pu******sy.... >:)

I don't understand the request. Would she have her clothes on? How do you breathe?

>asked
told

>eventually Russian gangsters started hiring him for money laundering proj
Why? I mean why did they choose Seagal specifically?

he's an operator

They gonna remove the Missouri from WoWS

Most washed up action stars have made low-budget movies in Eastern Europe, so it's not like he's unusual in that regard. He's the only one that seems to have completely embraced that life, though, with the relocating, steady work, and citizenship. I'm guess it's probably because he was just more willing to go along with it than people like Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren.

B A S E D

youtube.com/watch?v=L46yAh1YcBI

>wouldn't their butt be close to your face as well?
yea thats the best part of it

Thread theme: youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I

Who hasn't asked a girl to sit on your face?

Can someone make a webm of seagal running? Look it up on youtube, he runs like a fucking girl.

Based punani hunter

>the complete lack of self awareness it must take to unironically make a song like this

What are you talking about? It's a good song

>i want you to go back in time
>to 1991
>and sit on my face

>me want da punani

kek

*grabs you by the punani*

BACK THE FUCK OFF!?!?!

Is that Will Sasso?

Facesitting is truly a patrician fetish. Based Seagal.

Seagal isn't washed up, he could get roles in hollywood if he wanted

>something that happened 26 years ago is suddenly relevant
WHY?!

agreed, the most patrician in fact

truly /ourguy/

Facesit/pissing combo is goat

this

he's too busy making underrated kino instead

Because of women or something

>Drew Barrymore in Batman Forever

>wanting genitals near your face
You degenerates will all get the rope.

what's the appeal?

>Steven Seagal will never form a mangina and then sit on your face so that you can have the Holy Triumvirate of balls, dick, and asshole simultaneously mashed into your face

This. It is truly revolting if you have ever tried it.

It was a common thing me and my friends would always say when referring to a girl we liked when we were in our early 20s about 5 years ago, is the based Seagal where the original saying comes from?

SIT ON My FACE

Whoever the girl to the right is is much more aesthetically pleasing.

Hiya kids! Sup Forums's that way

>not wanting to go on a late night munging trip with Seagal

...

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it seemed he was having difficulty breathing

asking for consent is now rape
lol

Why would a man want a hoo-ha on his face???

>t. virgin

You have to tolerate it to get the butthole

this

Innies are fine though, beef curtains are disgusting.

he has no kino. everyone of his films is shit. If a film has steven seagal in it it's guaranteed to be a pile of shit

LITERALLY our guy.

Go back to your capeshit.

...

i hate capeshit but i would rather watch capeshit over some shitty steven seagal movie

He was just singing the Monty Python song.

What is Seagal doing in that picture? What is he explaining?

It's called crossrunning you faggot. You would know if you worked in Special Forces like Seagal.

Precisely, pure pleb.

>joe_rogan_takedown.mkv

imagine being this much of a pleb