You are made casting director for the new LotR TV series

>You are made casting director for the new LotR TV series
>However you may ONLY cast women or people of color; NO WHITE FUCKING MALES
Who do you cast, Sup Forums?

myself in black face in every role

Idris Elba in every role

Emma Watson as Frodina. She hides the ring in her ass. Emma Stone as Samantha, when Frodina gets stabbed by the spider, Sammie has to take the ring, with her fist.

get typler perry to direct with the loiter squad as every role and make it into an insane comedy

The thing is, they all need to be able to pull off British accents, so they can't be American because Americans are terrible at this.

white women looking like white males, makeup and costumes to make them look like 100% males

i would only cast overweight sassy black women. and i would reinstate all of the mud-wrestling scenes that Tolkien left out of the final draft.

lol i just make feudal-japan themed LOTR. and it'll be kino af.

Hendricks as Galadriel.
Anri Okita as Gollum.

A gaggle of slave chosen at random

*Slavs

Not diverse enough. You know damn fucking well diverse means "black" only. Asian, Hispanics, Indians, Arab, Iranian, Abos, Flips, Amerindians, etc. don't count as diversity.

Turn it into a porn series starring myself, Taylor Swift, Ana de Armas, Natalie Portman, Emma Stone, Amy Adams, Eva Green, and Anna Kendrick. The themes will include facesitting, breastfeeding, and me having my balls sucked dry by each actress in turn. There will be eight 2 hour long episodes and the filming will take place in my backyard to decrease the budget.

I'd cast Italians.

all women no clothes because clothes are designed by men and to wear them is to be in tacit agreement of the patriarchy

If you build one good meticulous set, it wouldn't cost that much. Like a full Rivendell wouldn't even be your full budget. I'd do that, and hire Cate to be a Galadriel fallen to Melkor.

I'd do this, hire Jay Sin to direct and I'd cast AnnaSophia Robb, Emma Watson, Victoria Justice, Liz Gillies, Hailey Atwell, Kat Dennings, Anne Hathaway and Millie Bobby Brown , it'd be mainly anal but some throat action too. I'd spend millions on costumes and sets to make it look as good as possible

i would shoot the movie from the bad guys perspective

White men identifying as black women.

>Lots of orc on woman rape
>it's okay because the orcs aren't white men

I cast the executive giving me this order into the fires of Doom

I bring in the blank panther cast and make it about orc society pre-ring war

No one and pocket the money. If I was forced to, probably some random Africans and pocket the rest of the money.

Idris Elba as Aragorn
Elle Fanning as Arwen

episode 1. Aragorn goes bare into Arwens pussy and cums inside in full frontal sex scene

Either:

1. Do it from Mordor's perspective, and have a full cast of Blacks playing different Orcs.
2. Go full Asian and make it a Wuxia series with proper European martial arts.

caitlyn jenner as aragorn

based

I dont cast anyone and i suicide bomb Amazon

Fill it with overacting japanese

Actually, Japan receives virtually no criticism for being largely racist and for denying 99% of the refugee requests they receive despite being a fully developed country of 100+ million people, because they're not white.

Except people constantly push the low birthrate, dying nation meme, and talk about them needing to accept immigrants.

Hitomi Tanaka as Eowyn.

>FPBP
i never thought i'd post this unironically

>ripping off Lethal Weapon 5
Very disrespectful

>All-white-female LOTR
Would watch

Cast dudes from the Kiowa, Comanche, Apache and Kickapoo nations. Rewrite the script so heavily it's a fantasy adventure in the Plains Indian Wars. And the Federals will be all Buffalo Soldiers. Like O' Brother Where Art Thou, but with LotR instead of The Odyssey.

"And nine treaties were gifted to the tribes of the Muscogee, who above all else desired power..."
"We travel to the tribe of William Thomas, to the last great house from East of the Mississippi"
"This document was made in the swamps of the Potomac. Only there can it be unmade."


Because fuck trying to make a straight adaptation with those conditions.