Looking back at it, this was so fucking retarded

Looking back at it, this was so fucking retarded.

it's fitting for its r*tarded fanbase

if you were at least of average intellect, you wouldn't even have to look back

"No!" "No!" "No!"

It was written for 12 year olds

u dont say

Wait for it...

What on Earth did you expect? The universe it draws itself from is one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

nice copypasta but they were fun if you read them close to the age of potter
stop being an autist

>but they were fun

As a kid I really liked that, I've always liked anagrams and wordplay. It's still a bit silly though.
It fits Tom Riddle's character that he wanted to give himself a new name after finding out his father was a dirty Muggle, but why use an anagram of the name you hate so much?

The only thing Harry Potter had going for it was the OST.

>Marvolo
Fucking hell, his parents gave him that middle name just so he could make that anagram? Could they see the future or were they just dicks?

Cursed Child confirmed that he went back in time and made his parents give him that middle name

>nice copypasta

You have no idea.

Is this seriously your first time seeing this pasta? How new are you?

Fun fact: In the french version, because you can't spell "Je suis Voldemort" with his original name, Voldemort's real name is Tom ELVIS Jedusor with Jedusor being a pun on "Jeu du sort" (game of luck).

Seriously??

>Tom Elvis Gambling

I like it

>non-canon

It's a children's novel

your retarded. the retarded part isnt the name lord voldemort its the fact the he also included I AM. like after he was done figuring out that his new name would be lord voldemort he was like shit I still have an M A I leftover.... oh ill just make it say I AM. goddamn you people are literally retarded holy shit

Made me laugh. Thank you.

I was just about to point out how Tom's full name is different in each translation since they had to make the anagram work. With the book being translated into 68 different languages you get some pretty funny stuff

Rowling is a hack. Her books are tripe of the highest order and to see adults reading them thinking they're great works of fiction is embarrassing.

>Tom Lomen Valedro
Finns had it pretty good.

How did Voldemort think this was clever? If I was Harry I would have said, "Yea I guess if you insert whatever arbitrary words you want before your wizard name to complete your cute little anagram, you can spell out whatever the fuck you want. Was this supposed to impress me?"

Name is Riddle
Makes a Riddle with his name

Harry Pottery

>his parents
just his autistic inbred mother who raped Voldy's dad. Marvolo was Voldy's wizard grandpa's name.

>Tom Gus Mervolo Dolder

>Romeo G. Detlev Jr
>The G. is short for Gåde, which is Danish for riddle

>Anton Morvol Hert

>Trevor Delgome

fucking lol

>Trevor Delgome
>Tom Gus Mervolo Dolder
>Marten Asmodom Vilijn
This stuff is gold. Voldemort was called fucking Trevor

>the dark lord trevor

I am Lord Voldemort you fucking cunt = Tom Voluntary Cuckoo Fuming Riddle

You really can hide anything in those middle names

>The Croatian, Portuguese and Polish translations of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets give Voldemort’s name as Tom Marvolo Riddle, and then do the anagram sentence in English, as ‘I am Lord Voldemort’, with an explanation for their readers.
some countries do logical thing but some other...

>in Spanish he is Tom Sorvolo Ryddle (anagram of “Soy Lord Voldemort“
>Soy Lord
>voldemort is soyboy

Looking back? This entire series is retarded. Even chronicles of narnia and it's Jewish propaganda is better.

You're nitpicking over something like that? What would you have liked then, Lord Mia Voldemort? The full title being I Am Lord Voldemort isn't what's stupid, it's the fact Riddle wanted to cast his old name aside because he despised his father's heritage and instead of making up a new name he makes an anagram using the name he so hated and wanted to get rid of. "Riddle" is still in his name. That's what's stupid.

>in Polish translation they didn't touch the name and just left the anagram in english
>I thought same happened with every translation, but turns out we missed out on having a dumb meme name for Voldemort
>mfw

>Citizen Bane

What was? The Harry Potter series? For sure. Glad I only watched the first two and stopped

Same thing happened with R.A.B. The Black family name had already been translated into dozens of languages so everyone knew who R.A.B. was like five minutes after reading it.

Nice trips - give is a funny polish translation

>tfw the anagram became "it's me lord voldemort"
kek

...

You missed the only good one.

>Bulgarian translation made the middle name longer and had the anagram spell out "And here I am, Lord Voldemort"
I can't get enough of this stuff. It sounds like he's introducing himself as the presenter of some tacky daytime quiz show.

Eh. He made it up as a kid. Basically the equivalent of his "clever" WoW username. The question is why he kept it as a fucking adult dictator.

>approved by J.K Rowling
>"the 8th Harry Potter story"

...

>Avatar

In Swedish his name is Tom Dolder. I thought it was stupid as fuck when I found out the real name was Riddle.

>The question is why he kept it as a fucking adult dictator.
IIRC, he had already started to gain a following late in his school career, so he probably just kept using the name people were used to.

congratulations, welcome to adulthood

It's a kids' book. What do you expect?
It's quite funny looking back how Tom was a fucking austist that he had to spend so much time trying to find the best combination of words for the name of his edgelord alter-ego

movie title translations in poland used to be infamously retarded until distributors gave up and started keeping english ones.
off the top of my head:
first Terminator movie was called "Electronic Murderer"
"Dirty Dancing" was called "Spinning Sex"
Blade Runner was called "Android Hunter"
Good Will Hunting was called "Rebel by choice"
Die Hard was called "Glass Trap"

kek

>"Dirty Dancing" was called "Spinning Sex"

what did they mean by this?

...

>I AM OLD ROD LOVER™

what did Rowling mean by this?

>Glass Trap
Heh, Die Hard is all fucked up in French. It goes:
>Crystal Trap
> 58 minutes to die
>A Day in hell
>Die Hard 4: Return to Hell
>Die Hard: A Good Day to Die

they had to change the real name of voldemort in different countries for this moment
i remember the name being totally fucking retarded in mine

I know Asian countries like to change movie titles drastically.
The Full Monty was released as Six Naked Pigs
Despicable Me was renamed Mysterious Thief Gru’s Moon Theft
There's loads more you can google, it's pretty funny and weird at times

It might've been strange, but I enjoyed it simply for the fact that it cemented the fact that Rowling had an endgame in mind for her story. I knew that if I read the books, the story would actually end up going somewhere and she wasn't just yanking our chains, like other authors (GRRM, Frank Herbert, Chaucer, etc...).

You can hate it all you want, but I haven't seen very many examples of anything better being written.

It's Glass Jungle, you fucking idiots!

>You can hate it all you want, but I haven't seen very many examples of anything better being written.
It's our fault your depth of literature only goes as far as what popculture tells you.

at least your distributors showed some creativity. here they just decided to roll with it and called the next movies Glass Trap 2, Glass Trap 3 and so on.

>rebel by choice

Herp Derp, still not mentioning anything better.
Still not making anything better.
It sure is easy to sit back on an anonymous board and shit all over someone else's work, isn't it?

>Glass Jungle

Pretty badass.

What about that scene cemented the fact Rowling had an endgame in mind?
I mean, I'm with you, she definitely knew where the story was headed and how it would end (though obviously a lot of subplots and side characters came about during the act of writing), but what was it about that scene that gave you the confidence that Rowling had plan when a lot of people doubted her?

>not being an adult and still using your xxsuper_saiyan_jedi_gokuxx hotmail/gmail account for everything

>so he probably just kept using the name people were used to.
hate when this happens on a character i made with a silly name

>'arry potta is dulest franchize in history!

:)

soy is short for yo soy which means i am in mexican

Not as dumb as time turners.

DUDE I CAN LITERALLY ALTER SPACE TIME. SHOULD I USE IT SAVE PEOPLE? NAH ILL USE IT TO TAKE MORE CLASSES!

OH SHIT I WROTE MYSELF INTO A CORNER

I KNOW ILL PRETEND THEY DONT EXIST AND THEN DESTROY THEM ALL AFTER THEYRE CONVENIENTLY IN THE SAME ROOM TWO MOVIES LATER!

As expected from the author of demigod Mary Sue reincarnating boy wizard and pals.

Dreadful.

Harry Potter uses stable time loops

You can't change the past because everything that will happen, already happened.

All you can do is go back and play the part you are already destined to play.

MA OLEN VOLDEMORT

First book was great.
After the 2nd it became a shitty forced romancing fanfic

He's called I Am In Mexican Lord Voldemort? That's the best one yet

...

I prefer the remastered version of this scene

like it's fucking impressive that she had the vaguest outline of how the Harry Potter series was going to end up in her head. The series is constantly pushed forward by literal plot device, by that I mean actual objects, the last book pushed this gimmick to the edge.

wish i was good at 'toshop
i am CIA

why doesn't this children series live up to my adult standards bros

the die was cast when spielberg didnt direct it

Deaden Ended Fesses (Schmuck Role Fry)

>says nice pasta
>DUDE THATS PASTA HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT BEFORE
what is wrong with you two

He's obviously not seen it before and doesn't know what it means.

>in Icelandic, he is Trevor Delgome (anagram of “Eg er Voldemort”).

>Trevor

I still can't get over Trevor. Fucking Trevor. That's your main bad guy, the most evil dark wizard of all time. Trevor.
Delgome is pretty cool but that doesn't wash away the name Trevor.

>"Come on Trevor, let's finish this the way we started...together!

Sounds like lazy writing

REALLY

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absolute kek

It's actually one of the very rare cases of a time travel plot done right. It followed clear rules and had limitations.

But I heard they changed the rules of time travel in Cursed Child so now Time-Turners can actually be used to go back in time and mess with history. And apparently that's canon now.

>tfw email contains nazi numerals as a joke but you're too lazy to change it even though you use it at school
I'll just pretend I don't know what they're talking about if they bring it up