No MAN can kill me!

>No MAN can kill me!
*removes helmet*
I'M NO MAN
Really?

YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS

YAAAAASSS QUEEEEEEEN
DAS RITE
LADY OF THE RINGS
HER TURN

>I Am no MAN. I don't have a penis, my hips are WIDER and i have less MUSCLES. I have OVARIES. Therefore I can kill you

What did Peter's wife mean by this?

It was unironically good in the book. Peter Jackson butchered it

It also helps that a midget just stabbed him

Yes queen, slay.

I don't get it, so were the wraiths invulnerable to everything or what? Even fucking Gandalf pissed himself, how does any of this make sense?

>ummm actually sweetie, "man" is a term used to refer to the entire human race of middle earth, not specifically the male gender. educate yourself

Aragorn was a phaggot for choosing Arwen over Eowyn.

>King and Queen of Gondor AND Rohan

Reminder that Tolkien wrote this because he thought the c-section in Macbeth was a cop out, and people have been fine with it for decades. Now Sup Forums comes along and ruins a perfectly good line/scene.

>only cis binaries can beat the witch king

Literally rape

You need elvenshit to whack ringwraiths. They just respawn though.

underrated
>anyone who doesn't like a shitty hamfisted groanworthy WOMENZ ARE STRONK scene is Sup Forums
fuck off beta orbiter

Accurate post.

Then
>have some dumb rule
>cool twist involving a decent character


Now
>show random fat muslim woman extra
>"I bet she's going to beat up the white male villain"
>she does

LotR book:
>“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”
>A cold voice answered: ‘Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”
>A sword rang as it was drawn. “Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.”
>“Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!”
>Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel.
>“But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”

LotR movie:
>HURR DURR I AM NO MAN

Why is Jackson such a hack?

Now he can be king of Gondor and Rivendell. Also, Faramir needed a gf

The feminism of this was created by the films.

Tolkein depicted her as crazy and attention seeking because she was thirsting after Aragorn's cock.

Once she met Faramir, she stopped being crazy and decide to be a nurse.

the heir to rohan was Eomer not Eowyn

Ye, in the books the hobbit stabbed him and broke the spell.

Samwise was the real MVP
Frodo a SHIT
A SHIT

LOTR reboot
>King Aragorn begins to train a new elite group of Orc hunters to round up the tenants of Sauron's armies, but suspects Faramir's son, Guylo, his top student, has secretly been conspiring with the shadowy Lord Droke (rumoured to come from beyond the Sea of Rhun)
>The King goes to confront Guylo but accidentally tries to murder him
>Guylo wakes just in time and fucks up Aragorn. He then gathers his closest friends and together they murder the rest of Aragorn's students
>Aragorn survives but retires in shame to the island of Tolfalas, where he spends the next 30 years milking seals and wallowing in his own self pity. Droke and Guylo invade and destroy Gondor in the meantime but Aragorn has no idea and gives no fucks
>then, one day, a young peasant girl comes to him and presents him with Anduril
>she pleads with him to aid in the fight against Guylo and Droke but Aragorn can't be fucked and throws Anduril over some cliffs
>she warns him that Lady Eowyn is in mortal danger, but Aragorn remembers that Eowyn doesn't have the blood of Numenor and looks old af now anyway. He tells the girl to fuck off
>Aragorn is then visited by Gandalf in full Maia mode. Mithrandir rips him a new arsehole and tells him to sort his shit out
>just as all seems lost, Aragorn calls Droke on the palantir but Guylo answers
>as the last remnants of the men of the west make their escape, Aragorn tells Guylo, "see you around, kid," and dies

it was obviously inspired by the way prophecies are handled like riddles in mythology and classical literature, like the no-man-born-of-woman bit in Macbeth, and is totally lost if you approach lord of the rings at face value for it's action and plot

grima could have just raped her after her brother left, there was nobody to stop him

It was a simpler time, user.

It's literally groom the book retards

>Frodo a gary stu gay trans elf who is biologically a female with a vagina and tits in tact got adopted by hobbits
>he studies under Gandalf the Black, a family friend
>rest of the trilogy is a major rehash point for point except the Eowyn part is glorified a ton
>Eowyn is now a Joan of Arc-like character
>Samwise is literally an emo edgelord bad boy tsundere and is the Kylo to femFrodo
>movie ends with Frodo Saggins stabbing Gandalf with her elvish magic saber
>Gandalf the Black's last words are, "See you later kid"

Eowyn stands up for her country and her people while Arwen lies in bed all day like a melodramatic teenager. Eowyn is clearly the thinking man's choice

...

It's a Shakespeare reference, you illiterate hack.

You dumb fag it's literally the same, only movie cuts a lot of dated dialogue and keeps the core message. Tolkien writing would've sound weird in modern movie, it's a fucking adaptation

TOP KEK

>dated dialogue
>in a FUCKING FANTASY movie

>it's Sup Forums reeeee
Trust me this thread is way too light hearted for that

yas qweeen

He should have made Karl Urban his waifu

You people are so delusional. No wonder woman don't want to talk to you.

#glorfindel btfo
#evil white men btfo
#yas qween

...

To be fair, over half the changes for the movie are pretty great, but yeah a few are outright stupid
"There was an even larger change planned: Sauron himself would come out in physical form to battle Aragorn, who would only be saved by the destruction of the Ring. Jackson eventually realised it ignored the point of Aragorn's true bravery in distracting Sauron's army against overwhelming odds, and a computer generated Troll was placed over footage of Sauron in the finished film"
What the fuck
>falling for the 3DPD meme
fuck off normalfag

>"The Scouring of the Shire" is the penultimate chapter of the epic fantasy The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien and the eighteenth chapter of The Return of the King. The hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, return home to the Shire to find that it has been despoiled and corrupted by ruffians and their leader, the wizard Saruman, now known as Sharkey. To date, it has been left out of all film adaptations of the novel.
OHNONONONONO
PFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Delusional was a perfect word to describe you.

>who should we get to write the screenplay for this european epic? A redpilled, talented man like Christopher Tolkein, or a couple of sjw roasties and a numale?

I'll have you know Wonder Woman fucking loves me

>it's real

It was even weirder seeing it in the extended dvds, here's this metaphysical evil that's been talked about only in whispers and at the end: boom, some big goofy guy in spiky armor

fran walsh is hot as fuck

Nice

>Even fucking Gandalf pissed himself
Gandalf fights them all off at once in the book as the Grey, the Witch King wasn't a threat to him. Jackson is just retarded.

>You dumb fag it's literally the same
In the book Eowyn is only a distraction, it's Merry's magical blade that does the Witch King in, Eowyn wastes a sword insulting him.

>Gollum slips off the edge while celebrating his victory
kino, very shakesspeare-esque

It was kino you shitcunt

Is Sup Forums ever wrong?!

pure evil

>I CANNOT BE KILLED BY CIS
>Who said I was CIS?
>AMAZONIAN FEMINIST BATTLECRY: YAAAAAASSSS
>Angmar's head explodes

>Merry's magical blade that does the Witch King in, Eowyn wastes a sword insulting him.
This. The barrow knife or whatever it's called fucked the Witch King up when he got stabbed in the back with it.

the prequel movies are shit