Male character walks into bathroom

>male character walks into bathroom
>sits down to pee

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I do this

>female character accidentally farts in public
>all the nearby men don’t start masturbating furiously

i do it sometimes, i hate doing this but sometimes no other way....

I also do this
Fuck you OP

I do this, the only reason not too is if you're in a public restroom.

I started doing this because sometimes when I piss the stream goes sideways and sprays my clothes.

Not like us real men, isn't that right OP? Real men always stand to pee. What do I look like, a girl? I don't even sit down to eat, why would I ever sit to pee? When I go to bed I stand up against the wall and strap myself to it with a rope so I don't fall over when I'm sleeping. They're called legs, learn to use them. Pussies.

>start pissing
>2 streams

dat toilet water splash tho

>that kid in middle school that would let his pants drop to the floor so you could see his bare was while he pees

Not sure if he was gay or retarded

>increasing your contact with germs for no reason whatsoever
>having to hold the base of your member so it doesn't touch side of the toilet
Dicklets detected.

what the fuck is wrong with you people? it takes way more effort to sit than to just take your dick out while standing

>Not carrying around a wrapping-paper tube like the rest of us.

Name two films, six flicks, 1 (one) kino, 3 canceled series, and 4 comic book adaptations that do this.

Sitting down to pee is what people who actually give a shit about the state of their bathroom do. If you aren't a fucking midget manlet, peeing standing up will - at least some of the time - end up splashing. Over your legs, the floor, the toilet, everywhere. Especially if you got up in the middle of the night to pee, my aim is garbage then, and so is yours. Who wants to clean up piss when they're tired? Fucking nobody! Who wants to clean up dried piss in the morning, get into bed with pissy legs? NOBODY!

The only people who think they don't need to sit stink of piss or have a bathroom that they never clean and so don't notice how piss covered it is. And if you live with someone who does sit down? They hate you. They fucking hate you, because they notice, and you're a rancid cunt.

Sit down to pee you fucking degenerates, it's the better choice.

fuck off soyboy

>visiting America with girlfriend
>in a pub
>need to shit
>go in the loo
>stalls have no fucking doors on them, can see guy taking a shit immediately as i enter and we make awkward eye contact for a second
>pretend all I needed to do was was my hands and get the fuck out of there ASAP

What the absolute fuck is wrong with you, America?

don't go to poverty nigger bars next time

Same, but only at home.

Pretty sure that's meant to stop drug use and date rapes

Clean your bathroom and wash your sheets you fucking pussy. An imperceptible drop of piss outside of your toilet bowl isn't going to kill you

american here. public restrooms are like my nightmare. just learn to plan your day around your bathroom breaks.

In America it's a custom that when you make eye contact that you challenge the other person to a shit-off.

You must wait til he is done shitting and then you see if you can shit a larger log than his largest log and if you win he buys you a beer or vice versa

That's why all bars lack doors in their toilet stalls, for tradition's sake

He probably thought you were weird for not challenging him, or a pussy.

I had a kid that would do this in elementary school. Later on we found out he was both gay and retarded.

How about I just don't get covered in piss like a fucking animal, you stupid rancid smelling cunt? I bet you catch whiffs of your disgusting smell every now and then. Just remember that it smells 10x worse for anyone that isn't you. You're used to your revolting scent, they aren't.

I bet you don't even wash your hands, even after shitting. Mong.

>roastie BTFO
Drink my piss

Have you tried showering daily and washing your clothes? Like what civilized people do?

Where are we? More like, when are we?

Only when I'm pooping. I usually hold in the turd until it's about to squeeze out anyway so there is no time to stand and pee then sit.

>imperceptible drop of piss
>you can clearly see where piss has splattered over the years in public restrooms even with cleaning
>he thinks this can't happen at home

Public bathrooms are used all day by savages who don't care where they aim because they're not the ones doing the cleaning

>gay or retarded
What's the difference?

I do if I'm tired or I don't feel like blinding myself in the night

>Character has an awkward moment
>Doesn't start screaming while jumping up and down

>tfw you’re 6’4” and you have to sit down to pee because they make toilets so low to the ground and if you stand to piss it splashed everywhere no matter how you angle your stream

I WANT TO STAND LIKE A MAN GODDAMMIT

MY FUTURE HOME WILL HAVE A URINAL

>not sitting down to piss so no one can attack you from behind

Some of us regularly clean our bathrooms.

>character takes a shit
>doesn't spend ten minutes cleaning blood off their asshole
Does hollywood seriously expect us to suspend disbelief this much

i do that when im tired as fuck and not sure if i want to shit as well

I do too if I'm lazy and/or want to use my phone.

Trust me on this, buy some of those flushable wipes, you’ll be so much cleaner and bleed less.

>main character doesn't use their bathroom sink to pee

Feels good man

Isn't there a curb episode where ((larry)) talks about sitting down to pee at night because he doesn't have to turn on the lights to aim his pee and not readjust his eyes to the light

>take a shit
>wipe
>and wipe
>and wipe
>seems like a never ending cycle
>just sit there wiping in vain until your asshole burns

>just jerked off
>go to take a piss
>penis turns into sprinkler
>piss flying everywhere

You do it in the middle of the night because it's dark and you're half asleep and also half to mostly erect. Everyone knows this.

>sits down to piss
>calls others soyboy

t. Foul bachelor frog

I only stand up to pee if I'm in a public restroom or I'm wearing a belt or a robe or something.

a true man pees in the sink faggot

a fellow battle-shitter

>white "men"

umm
youtube.com/watch?v=PBtC_eKVVEE

>character is so drunk they have to piss/shit sitting down in the shower

I sit for piss at the first piss in the morning, cause I'm still sleepy and it's comfy to sit down and I browse shit on my phone while doing it. And if I have a boner and fear I may have trouble aiming.

It's not all about soy, guys

>flushable wipes

I don't know, bro. Here's my issue:

NOT USING WET WIPES
>Wipe about 5 times or so, little brown on the last one, but nothing to cry about
>pull up pants and go about my day

USING WET WIPES:
>wipe 5 times with normal tp
>wipe with a wet wipe
>wet wipe is pure brown shit
>wipe another 5 times with normal tp
>wipe with a wet wipe
>EVEN MORE SHIT THAN LAST TIME
>wipe with normal tp 5 more times
>use a wet wipe
>an amount of shit on it that would constitute an entire log of shit
>wipe an additional 5 times with normal tp
>wipe with a wet wipe
>pure shit on it, no end in sight

on and on it goes. I don't know what to do. Using a wet wipe just goes to show how dirty my asshole has been my whole life, but I don't have a stinky hole. I prefer the ignorance of not knowing how filthy my anus is, rather than spending 20 extra minutes on the toilet and never making progress.

Sause please?

yes, cheryl leaves the seat up because she was vomiting the night before and he falls in the toilet in the middle of the night

Pepe the alt-right frog

Your wellcome

Is it really a good system, or is larry being a jew trying to feminize men, because I do the same at night but in the back of my mind it feels a little sissy to sit down and piss

>we make eye contact for a second

i piss in the sink

lies, pepe does not sit to pee

>take shit
>oh no some shit may be stuck on asshole hairs
>rip out asshole hairs

Fuck off is this an actual thing?