Niels & Gang storytime because fuck you

It's been awhile since I've seen a bad webcomic storytime, Sup Forums.

Last updated 2 years ago, you'll love to hate this if you loved to hate Kimchi Cuddles and Any of Humon's other work.
Abridged author commentary in brackets.

[The other day they played “The way I are – Nephew remix” on the radio. I had heard it before, but this was the first time I actually listened to it, and realized what Simon Kvamm was singing.

For those who can’t hear it, he sings:
I’m Scandinavian, everything is what it is
I’m Scandinavian everything is free
And we will do it again when
We’ll play it again then
And you will hear it again, and
Again and again and
Nothing but the Scandinavian way I are
Love me the Scandinavian way I are

I couldn’t make up my mind as to who he is singing to, and ended up settling for him singing to both of them.

Later that day I watched this video by Nephew youtube.com/watch?v=vbAQ9e9UcmI and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to see a big blockbuster movie with an evil, bisexual “fucked up Dane” as the main bad-guy, who for some reason surrounds himself with black people, despite not "acting black" himself. :XD:

You can decide for yourself if he gets the classic bisexual bad-guy ending and gets shot in the head. :P]

Other urls found in this thread:

alexander-rowe.deviantart.com/
manafromheaven.deviantart.com/
humon.deviantart.com/art/quot-Please-don-t-cry-quot-142297867
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

[I keep telling you that he is a bad guy, but so far I haven’t done anything to prove it. You know what they call that? Bad story telling.

So here you have his dark side. I wanted him to look like he’s thinking, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a looong time. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy the sight for a bit” *poke poke with foot* :XD:

Now the big question is, who did he shoot? The title would suggest that it’s The Hero, but there’s always a few heroic people in a story, so it could be anyone on The Hero’s team.]

[Here he is again, that smug bastard.

I can only imagine how many people a character like this would piss off, was he ever to appear in a major movie. :XD: ]

[“Sorry, I never got around to learn Italian. Would you please translate that?”

I have no idea who the Italian guy is. Maybe a gangster who has come to inform our main baddie that his behaviour will no longer be tolerated, or to try and convince him that working together would be a good idea. Or maybe he is just some guy who has not been has helpful as he claimed he would be.

Yes, I am going out of my way to make Main Baddie look as “white” as possible. Milk and all. :XD:

And I’m sorry for spamming you with pictures of this guy, but apparently I’m in the mood for Smug Bastards.]

>implying this has a story
you're going to post the molestation one, right?

what

Yeah I'm now recalling that this is more commentary and less comic.
I'm posting everything

[“What wonderful music you will make”
“...Hu?”

Poor Former Baddie. He didn’t smell the petroleum before it was too late. :(

Yes, this is Bi-Baddie getting a promotion aka killing his boss. Don’t worry. If that one bottle of petroleum won’t do it, they’ll just go out and buy some more. :evillaugh:

Bi-Baddie always thought Former Baddie was a fantastic leader (with a fantastic singing voice), who unfortunately never listened to other people’s advise, and over time he just got really fucking sick and tired of his attitude.

But it was that one evening in Japan that pushed Bi-Baddie over the edge and started Former Baddie’s road to this. (I have no idea what happened that evening. I just like to hear what you guys come up with because you always think of things that never even crossed my mind :) )

Bi-Baddie is the first of my characters who I really don't care if you love or hate. Of course I like him, but if you want to punch him in his smug face and set his stupid hair on fire, I'm okay with that. That's what I made him for after all. :XD:]

I'm sorry but what actually makes Niels bad?

Hard mode: no "it's bad because it has NIGGERS and FAGGOTS"

[This is going to be so awkward when Niels’ bodyguards bust in to save him. They will never be able to unsee what they saw that night. :XD:

alexander-rowe.deviantart.com/ ’s character Cecil Meriwether, a gangster hitman with a very darks sense of humour. He has a wife and child, but sometimes you just have to get the job done. ;)
He isn’t quite black, but his dark skin would non the less make it ridiculously easy for him to get close to Niels, get him in a room alone, and even disarmed.
That’s what you get for even thinking of cheating on your girl- and boyfriend!

I was going for a surprised look on Niels, but instead he ended up looking mildly disappointed. :XD:

These days I’m in the mood for drawing Niels with other peoples’ characters, so if you have an original character you would like to see Niels with, link me to a picture and give a quick description of personality and anything else you think is important. I have to warn you though, your character can end up as anything between being desired by Niels, to being tortured. :XD:
Also, they will be modified to fit into this world, so fantasy characters will be dressed in modern cloth and if your character has crazy colour hair but is not a punk, their hair colour will be changed to something more normal and so on.]

[So far I’ve made it seem like Niels (Yes, that is Bi-Baddies name. Deal with it!) lives in two worlds, “work” and home, but in reality they mix quite a bit.

The baby Niels is sitting with is the child of the couple he lives with. The mother got pregnant after he entered the scene, but in case you were wondering, Niels is not the father. The real father would probably have kicked him out if the baby turned out to be too light skinned. Sure they have a nice threeway thing going, but that doesn’t mean everybody has to know! :XD: (Still don’t have names for the couple by the way. Can someone help me out?)

You just know that kid is not going to grow up right as long as “Uncle Niels” is around. :XD: He loves it like it was his own, though. So all harm that should become it would not be his intention.

And finally: People keep asking me about his name and backstory, and I can’t take it any longer! You win, okay!? I give in! Here it all is!]

[****
His full name is Niels Gyldensted. He was born and grew up in Denmark, and came from a nice doctor family. I don’t think it will come as a big surprise that his parents weren’t the best. They didn’t abuse him in any way, but they didn’t seem to care a whole lot about him either, except when people came with accusations of Niels being “not right in the head”. Then they were always quick to tell people they were wrong, so those “not right” parts of Niels were allowed to grow. At first he just did those things to get some kind of reaction from his parents, but they quickly became part of his personality.

When he was growing up, black people were far en few between in Denmark, so when a black woman moved into a small house at the end of the road, he couldn’t stay away. He would chase the younger kids away to impress her when they were yelling after her, and it wasn’t long before she let him into her house.
At first she became the mother he never really had, but over time it turned sexual, and just before his 16 birthday she became his first (should be noted that it’s legal to have sex when you turn 15 in Denmark) People started talking, but other than that nobody did anything because his parents responded as usual by calling them all liars.

When he got older he went to USA. It was only supposed to be a vacation with some friends, but he met a shady guy who, when asked about his nationality, always just responded with, “I’m an American” and called himself “Johnny” though he was obviously from somewhere else. He asked Niels if he would like to work for him, and the day before Niels was supposed to fly home, he ditched his friends at the airport and went back to Johnny. His new boss made sure he could stay.

Years later he got tired of Johnny and killed him. End of backstory. :XD:]

[Nope, that kid is not going to grow up right. Damn you Uncle Niels! :XD:]

>He isn’t quite black, but his dark skin would non the less make it ridiculously easy for him to get close to Niels, get him in a room alone, and even disarmed.

Wait...what?

[Niels doesn’t just go around killing random people. He doesn’t wake up in the morning thinking, “Hm, I feel like killing someone today” Killing is messy and afterwards you might even have to deal with the police, so a person has to be a major horn in Niels’ side before he goes to extremes like this.

That means either Lorenzo has done something very bad, or Niels isn’t actually going to kill him, but just wanted to beat him up a bit and give him a scare. Take your pick. :)]

[A super quick drawing. I spot someone who’s arm is sleeping! :XD:

Niels is such a fucking toddler when it comes to sleeping. He insist on sleeping in the middle, and they better cuddle him or he’ll make a fuss. Did I ever mention that he takes his creepy parent issues out on them?
It’s like when someone get together with someone who reminds them of their mother/father in some way. Niels had issues with both his parents, so he was subconsciously looking for someone who would make him feel at home.

And GAH! I still can’t decide on names for them! Why is this so hard? :(]

...

[Niels with manafromheaven.deviantart.com/ ’s character Nightshade, who’s a poison assassin.

OMG!! He poisioned the milk!! No fair!! Is there no honour among bad-guys anymore!? :(]

All the actual plot points, lore and anything remotely interesting is kept to exposition dumps in the description, leaving only the "good stuff".

OP STOP

[This would probably be one of the most unholy wedding pictures ever to be taken, yet I feel a need to apologize for creating such romantic crap. :XD:

It’s the wedding photo that stands in Niels’ living room. Obviously he didn’t marry Natalie and Duncan (Yes, they have names now!) This is from their wedding which Niels’ paid for and was Duncan’s best man. At this point they had been a confirmed threeway couple for a year, and it was one of those things that everybody knew but never talked loudly about. And the guests at the wedding most certainly noticed that Duncan and Niels’ were wearing identical tuxedos.

When they had their wedding photos taken afterwards, Natalie asked to have some taken with Niels as well. The photographer felt a bit awkward. :giggle:
Yes, she was pregnant at the time.

Quite a few people have asked how he met Duncan and Natalie, so here you go.]

It obviously means the guy isn't black and Niel is into blacks

con't
[Duncan always had troubles with the law, and had been in prison a few times, but he mostly did “harmless” robberies and were the kind of burglar who would just run off if the owners of a house came home or woke up.
Natalie simply worked as dishwasher at a hotel. In other words, neither of them made a whole lot of money.

So when it turned out Natalie was pregnant, everything went down the shitter. All of a sudden they needed a lot of money, but when Natalie’s boss found out, she fired her for “various reasons”.
Duncan wanted the child to have a nice childhood so he tried to get a steady job, but no one would hire him with his criminal record. They started to get desperate, and that was when Duncan made one of the biggest mistakes of his life and lend money from “Johnny”. When he couldn’t pay the money back, Duncan got the choice between loosing all his fingers, or come work for Johnny. Suddenly Duncan’s crimes weren’t so harmless anymore. Without going into too much detail, he was forced to do some bad things.
To make matters worse Natalie had a miscarriage. Now they had an apartment full of baby stuff they didn’t need, and all their problems with Johnny seemed to be for nothing, but Duncan couldn’t get out.

It was around this time Niels met Duncan. At this point Niles had become Johnny’s right hand man, and spend an awful lot of time at Johnny’s place. One day when he went out to get some air while Johnny talked with some of his “employees”, he met Duncan who was still so low in the hierarchy that he hadn’t been allowed to come inside. Duncan knew who Niels was and got rather nervous, both because Niels was technically his boss, but also because he had heard of the things Niels was capable of, and was convinced that he was a complete psycho. Therefore he got rather surprised when Niels turned out to be quite pleasant company.]

con'd
[
Over the next month they started running into each other more and more often. At first Duncan didn’t think much of it, until he realized Niels was stalking him. They then spent about two weeks playing an unspoken game of “I see you! No you don’t!”

It all culminated when one day Duncan came home to his apartment, and found Niels sitting on the couch, talking with Natalie. He went absolutely berserk and started shouting all the thoughts he had had about Niels for last couple of weeks, until Natalie stopped him, and told Duncan that Niels wanted to help them. Niels then explained that he was following Duncan to see what kind of people he hang around with and if he was trust worthy, because Niels was just as sick and tired of Johnny as everybody else and was working on “separating” himself from him. If Duncan would come and work for him, Niels would cancel Duncan’s depth. That was of course very risky business, but Duncan decided to take Niels’ offer.

It was from here the real seduction of the couple started. :)]

[“You might want to clean yourself up a bit before we hit the streets, kiddo”

How about a little elaboration on what Niels and Johnny’s relationship was like?

Niels and Johnny really had a good thing going. It was almost invertible that Niels would start seeing Johnny as a father figure, and Johnny was the first and only of Niels’ many parental figures who actually saw him as the son he never had. It was a relationship that worked out perfectly for both of them.

Unfortunately Niels’ habit of seeing sex as the ultimate parental love kicked in. Johnny wasn’t gay/bi, so when Niels came on to him, he turned him down on the spot. Niels took that very personal, and when Johnny started treating him differently because, as it turned out, he wasn’t a big fan of “faggots”, everything just went downhill from there.

The night Niels burned Johnny to death was the first time he called home in two years.

Yes, it was deliberate that I made Johnny call Niels kiddo. Let’s just hope it’s not foreshadowing for what will happen to Niels when his nephew grows up. :XD:]

An absolute failure to convey meaning in a sequence of images, which is the very heart of comics.

There are good single panel comics, some of which don't even bother with dialogue, narration, or written explanation at all. This thing conveys nothing of substance in isolation or in sequence. It isn't funny, it isn't dramatic, it isn't thoughtful, it isn't novel. It's a bunch of mediocre illustrations with disorganized author commentary accompanying it indirectly.

If you like it that's your taste, but as far as comics go this is abysmal. It's putting less effort into expressing itself than B^U

Isn't that because it's not a webcomic?

i could have sworn there were some literal comics somewhere in this edgy mess. I guess we'll find out.

[Duncan fail to see what’s so adorable about watching your child and your lover get pneumonia, while you stand in the rain and refuse to put your hood on because it’s too small and makes you look like a retard. :XD:

The other day I was thinking about how Niels see sex as the ultimate way for a parental figure to show their love for their “adoptive” children, and it made me realize that shit will happen when Kiddo hits the magic 18 years. Because Niels loves that kid, and he will want to show it the best way he knows how.

How Kiddo will react to that will largely depend on how much Niels has influenced him, and if his parents are still alive at that point. If The Hero has killed them, leaving Niels to raise Kiddo all by himself, Kiddo may even be expecting it as a sort of 18 years old birthday present.

But there’s also the chance that he won’t take it nicely and violently reject Niels, which will start a chain of events that ends with the death of one of them.

Or if Duncan and Natalie are alive he may reject Niels gently and Niels will just feel let down, but try to get over it. The only thing I know is that it won’t end it rape, because Niels sees sex as love and not as power.

But right now everything is fine.]

>I'm sorry but what actually makes Niels bad?
>cringeworthy and retarded dialogue "listen officer if you kill me my boyfriend will go after you"
>character development is near zero
>irrealistic personalities

You don't need gutters and panels to be a comic.

It's classified as a webomcomic by everyone else, including Humon.

Then again, Twisted Kaiju Theater and Surviving the World are considered legit webcomics so they term is used really loosely.

In what way are either not comics?

>what does sequential mean

[Sorry for the rough sketch, but I seem to be unable to draw anything else these days.

Anyway, here are the people Niels is up against. Don’t they strike fear in your heart!?

Some people wanted the heroes to be even worse than Niels, but I always intended for Niels to be the bad guy, so I wanted his opponents to be likable. Now I just have to hope that you won't like them so much that you want to see Niels dead. :D

***Backstory Time!!
Thomas is a detective/cop, who was originally interested in “Johnny” and followed every little step he took, even though it wasn’t his case. He did however know the old policeman who had to deal with Johnny, and who, to be frank, didn’t care much for that job. There was no way of catching Johnny, so he let Thomas have his fun.
Then one day Johnny just disappeared, and suddenly Thomas started seeing Niels all over the place. Sure, Niels had been there for a long time, but now it seemed like Niels had taken over business. The old cop just waved it off, saying Johnny was probably just hiding from someone somewhere, but Thomas didn’t buy that. He had seen nothing that indicated that Johnny suddenly had reason to hide, so Thomas started following Niels instead, wanting to know the truth. Then the old cop retired and Thomas begged to get his case. He got it, and the wild chase for Niels started. Thomas became obsessed. He started to seriously neglect his wife, and only barely managed to reach the hospital in time to see his daughter, Wendy, be born. It had been a difficult birth, but the little girl was healthy.]

I really don't think this is that bad. At least not in the weightclass of webcomics. It's not good by any means, of course.

At some ratio of text to image, it becomes an illustrated story, ala captain underpants.

>taking photos of yourself with a chalkboard now counts as a webcomic.

[
A day later his obsession ended abruptly. Finally he had Niels right where he wanted him: alone and unarmed. Thomas chased Niels into an old warehouse and down into the cellars. The place was like a labyrinth, and Niels constantly managed to avoid him. Doing the chase Thomas mobile phone started ringing. Annoyed he shut it off and continued, but in the end he had to face that he had lost Niels. After much frustrated yelling and kicking at random objects, he noticed that he had gotten a text message simply reading “Your wife is dying. Come to the hospital now”
He forgot all about Niels and ran back through the cellars, but realized that he had been so caught up in the chase that he had no idea where he was. He spent far too long trying to get out, and when he finally reached the hospital, his wife was dead. The complications from the birth had killed her.

All fight and obsession left him. All hopes died. Non of that meant anything anymore because he hadn’t been by his wife’s side, and now had to raise his daughter all alone.
He no longer had any desire to catch Niels, and he convinced himself that it was impossible. Now he just wanted to spend as much time with Wendy as possible.

His boss noticed that Thomas didn’t get a whole lot of work done, and decided that he needed someone to help him. Therefore Caron was made his partner.

She had wanted to be on the Niels case for a long time, and was impressed by the things she had heard about Thomas’ work. She knew he didn’t care much for the whole thing anymore, but was convinced that she could get him going again.

Caron is still working on sparking Thomas’ interest for the case, while Thomas just want to be left alone and spends a lot of time trying to convince Caron that it’s hopeless.
***

Their (mainly Thomas’ so far) backstory is still a bit sketchy, but hopefully you get the idea. :)]

[”Hi Thomas. I hear you didn’t come to work today. Everything’s all right?”

“Everything’s fine, Niels”

“You don’t sound fine. You’re sick?”

“...Stop calling me” *click*

Is there anything more annoying than when your old arch-enemy have your telephone number and keeps calling you? :XD:]

[The obligatory Halloween picture.

My first thought was that Niels would dress up as a punk, and the thought that followed immediately after was the he would end up with blue hair for weeks afterwards. Sure, it was fun at the party and kinky afterwards at home, but bad for your reputation in the long run. Oh well, at least Kiddo loves it. :XD:

Natalie is obviously one of those people who use Halloween as an excuse to dress like a whore. :D

And Thomas thinks something's wrong when a crazy man is not following him. That’s not a good thing.
]

fuck

It counts as a totally worthy of being published comic book according to the likes of Image, Archie, etc in the 90's.

It's shit, but drawing it yourself is not a prerequisite.

So Heathcliff isn't a comic anymore? Damn.

[”I told you not to come closer...”

A quick drawing of something that happened back before Thomas’ wife died. The exact moment Thomas fully realized that Niels’ threats are to be taken serious.

The dead guy is just some poor junkie who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.]

You know, these wouldn't be that intolerable if it wasn't of the gallon of vitriolic blogging and virtue signaling.

So basically, this comic is to gays what flamboyant faggots are to mild homosexuals. Or am I getting something wrong?

fuck's the point though

[”Why did you buy two? Please don’t say one of them is for me”

“It is. The big one even. I know how much you love them”

“I’m sure you do”

“I do. You want it?”

“...”

“No answer is an answer too”

“No. I don’t want it”

Niels ruining Thomas’ trip to the park.
Their relationship is a little complicated.]

it's pretty obviously fetishizing bisexuality and black people
are you gonna call gay porn virtue signaling too

continued

you guys really think so? Even if it was told properly, it's nnedlessly dark and weirdly fetishistic. More like a 2ccol fantasy than an actual story. Plus a bunch of complicated backstory for each character does not an interesting story make

[So you think walking in on your parents is bad? Try walking in on them while they’re having a threesome! NOOOOOO!!!!

Of course Kiddo knew they had a three-way relationship. He had seen them kiss good morning/goodbye plenty of times, and he knew they all slept in the same bed. It just never really dawned on him that they had sex too. Because parents don’t have sex! Ever!]

Fuck you too op, thanks for the cancer

[This is supposed to be the exact moment Natalie realize that Niels wants a threesome.

A longer explanation for those who cares:
Niels first met Duncan, and after talking with Natalie too, he decided that he wanted them both or noting.

At fist he only seduced them one on one. They required very different treatment because Duncan had obviously never been with a man before, but Niels knew his closets and could tell he was at least bi-curious. He had to be careful thought not to push Duncan too far, or he could get violent about it.

Neither did he want to push Natalie into doing something she wasn’t sure about, so he never slept wither either of them. With Natalie it never got further than a very soft and very quick kiss on the cheek. He didn’t want them to feel like they were cheating on each other, because then when they found out he had been playing them both, they would surely kick him out to feel better about themselves.

When he was with Natalie he did this thing where he gently touched her hand with his fingers. When he decided that they were both “ripe” for more, he invited them to his apartment, and arranged it so that Natalie would see Niels touch Duncan’s hand the same way he touched her. At first she had no idea what was going on, until he suddenly looked her in the eyes, and she realized that this was Niels’ way of telling her, “I want you both”

Afterwards when she was alone with Niels she asked him if it had meant what she thought it meant. He told her yes, it did, and would she please help him? Natalie had been suspecting that her boyfriend was bi for a long time, and after telling Niels was a creep his was (and a few other things that shall not be mentioned here), her curiosity got the best of her.

They then joined forces, and with Natalie on his team, the seduction of Duncan became a piece of cake. :D

Non of them had any idea that they would all end up living together with a kid to look after...]

fuck
yes

[“...You’ll probably go to Heaven. You’re a good guy. You picked up your kids after school. You helped them with their homework. The afterlife will no doubt be good to you”

Can’t you just feel the tender love flowing from Niels? :XD:

I’ve become quite fond of the idea that he will try to cheer up his victims by telling them that they’ll go to Heaven. Polite an friendly to the last.]

[I didn’t really think about it when I made the picture, but it looks like Niels has been there longer than Natalie. She has a look on her face like she’s thinking, “Oh my god! Niels! You’re here?!”

Anyway, this is a character I originally created for the simple purpose of torturing Niels. You see, Niels does some horrible things, and in order for me to still like him I have to punish him every now and then.

But then I started giving the character a background and a personality, so I thought it would be in order to introduce you to him.

His name is Peter, and he is a hippie gone horribly, horribly wrong, a rapist with a big R and was “the first child of Johnny”. ]

continued

[You people will never understand how much I love these three together. They will forever be my OT3 of this story, no matter what happens.

Anyway, I don’t know what happened with this. It started out as a comment on the silliness of the yaoi height rule, and ended up...I don’t know where.

Still, it’s a silly rule that has no place in this story. I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem to think that Niels is some uber top who will make everyone beg for him, but the truth is that he is a bit of a bottom. Especially with Duncan who is too concerned with his masculinity to let a guy top him more that five times a year. At most!

And yes, that is Mr. Rapy McRape aka Peter at the end. He loves you all!!!]

[All men are gay in yaoi comics! Just admit it so Thomas can get on with his life! He doesn’t have time for Niels’ annoying faggoty! Or bisexuality or whatever!

But you have to admit it. Have you ever read/seen anything yaoi themed where a surprising number of the men weren’t gay? Like, 8 out of 10?

Though I have to admit I’m somewhat guilty of this, only here almost “everyone is bi”. :D

Seriously, right now I could draw “Yaoi Rules” comics all day long, because yaoi rules will never not be funny. :XD:]

[Both the yaoi and yuri rules hate Natalie. Dark skin is sort of okay, broad noses are not. :(
And what the hell are you doing here Caron?! No fatties either!

The girl behind Caron is Peter’s daughter, Lidy. She’s not as young as she looks here, but I’ll tell you more about her later.

Yes, "Revolutionary Girl Utena" is dark skinned but not black. She is supposed to be from India.]

[Peter will not stand for people potentially having naughty-time if he is not involved!

I can understand Duncan not liking a clean shaved Niels. Niels already looks like a teenager, so without pubic hair he would look like a 12 years old. Much like the ukes in yaoi now that I think about it...

And to all of those who have asked where to find this list of yaoi rules, I’m sorry to tell you it doesn’t exist. The rules here are just observations I done over the time. :)]

...

You know, I actually kinda like the whole concept behind Niels - I like seeing bad guys in everyday situations, and a polyamorous relationship is an uncommon/potentially interesting addition.
I just wish there was an actual plot behind this. The comics are only about the shipping and all the interesting stuff is just told in the comments

even though this comic appears to be dead in the water, apparently she's still making SatW & has like 600 patrons on patreon

weirdly enough the best part of this comic were the two gay secret agents who had nothing at all to do with neils

As a Dane I wish it was legal to have people euthanized.
Humon would be first in line.

Is that the gods comic?

i fell asleep

[A lot of people have asked what Kiddo (btw. I decided to call him Elliot, but the only people who will ever call him that are his parents and one of his girlfriends) will look like when he grows up, and that also made me wonder what Niels will look like in his old age.

I have a million different ideas for what happens when Kiddo gets older, but this particular picture was inspired by this version:
Natalie and Duncan are killed rather gruesomely as an act of revenge for something Niels did. Niels does not take it nicely and slowly starts killing people who he feels had some part in it. Not all the people on his list are easy to get to and he has to take care of his overall business too, so his revenge is not done overnight. He also makes sure Kiddo knows what happened to his parents, so he will happily help his uncle on his killing spree. When there is about four people left on the list, Niels has gotten too old to sneak into houses and what not, so Kiddo takes over. Some he kills on the spot, others he drags home so Niels can enjoy watching Kiddo kill them.

As you can hear it’s one of the more outrageous versions of their story and most likely not the one I’ll go with, but it is fun enough to deserve a mention. :D]

[This is the result of me wondering what kind of music they like.

I tried to imagine what the music videos would look like with Niels, Natalie and Duncan, putting them as the main character for each their song, and the images that popped into my head while listening to Duncan’s song was so stupidly pimp’ish that I had to draw it.

So here is Duncan, being a bi pimp. :XD:]

gonna be a slow dump after this by the by

[Niels: Hi Mike. You should call your mother more often, because she keeps saying she has no idea where you are. Yes, she’s here with me. Don’t worry, I like her, so nothing will happen to her if you do as I tell you. Sure. *Hold up phone to her* He wants to talk with you.

Mother: Mike? Don’t worry pumpkin, mother’s all right. Listen, don’t do what he says. I’ll be fine.

Niles: *Takes phone back* Don’t listen to her. She has no idea what I’ll do to her if you mess this up.


Lately I’ve been focusing on Niels’ relationship with Natalie and Duncan, but never forget that he is still supposed to be a villain, and that if you get in his way and then hide from him, he will f***ing come after your family. *evil laugh*]

[It’s a surprisingly common misconception that everyday Danes doesn’t understand English.

Anyway, I often forget that Niels is a native Dane who is in fact an “illegal alien” in USA. It was rather interesting to make him speak Danish while sitting between Natalie and Duncan, because it’s a weird collision between his past in Denmark as the doctor’s son, and his new life in America as crime lord and killer.

I originally planned for him to talk with his mother for a lot longer, but it wouldn’t have been interesting for anybody. Boring for people who doesn’t understand Danish for obvious reasons, and boring for those who understand Danish because he isn’t saying anything of interest to anybody.

A translation of what Niels says to his mother:
Hi mom. How are you? Yes I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday, but I was busy. How’s dad? That’s nice. It’ll probably do him good to get out more. One would think he knew better. He is after all a doctor himself.
Listen mom, I’m talking with some friends right now, so how about I call you back later? Yes, it’s Duncan and Natalie.

I’ll talk to you later mom. Yes, I’ll ask her.]

>I'm sorry but what actually makes Niels bad?

The fact that the comic is about and named after Niels and yet the most interesting strips and more likeable characters are the gay spy/agents.

Most of the pages are single pics but is because it doesn't begin to take into actual comic strips -Scandinavia and the World style- until later on.

Oh wait the thread already reached the strip parts, well then just wait for the pencil-only strips!

skipping the character lineup

[”Hi”

”What happened to you!?”

Natalie hadn’t meant to sound angry. At least not at Niels. He just didn’t look like himself. He was still smiling, but that didn’t mean anything. With Niels it was all in the eyes, and right now one of them was so swollen he could hardly open it. The other seemed...lost. Empty. Natalie had never seen him like this.

“What did they do to you?”

The tone of Duncan’s voice sent a chill down her spine. Despite all the times he had been to jail, he had never looked like this. But something told her he had seen this before. He knew what had happened.

“Tony is in here” Niels just said, his gaze drifting for a second “Apparently he is still disappointed that I didn’t send someone to pick him up at the harbour. He made it big in here, though”

“That fucking bastard!” Duncan’s fist hit the table, but not hard enough to draw the guards’ attention “I’ll fucking kill him!”

“Where is Kiddo?” Niels asked, looking past them as if expecting to see his nephew hiding in the back.

“Linda is looking after him” Natalie said, concentrating on keeping her voice more gentle this time.

“Why didn’t you bring him?”

“You want him to see you like this?”

“Don’t worry, Niels” Duncan interrupted “I’ll talk with some people. Those fuckers won’t even dare to look at you funny!”

“If I’m a good boy and stay out of fights, will you bring him next time?”

continued
[Natalie didn’t like the way he was looking at her. Niels wasn’t just asking. He was pleading.

“...Yes”

“Thank you”

For just a few seconds Niels’ smile seemed sincere, before it went back to being noting more than a curved slit in his face. He then turned to Duncan and said with a soft voice, “And thank you, Duncan. I would like that very much”

********
This is a “what if” sketch. I wondered what Niels would look like after a few days in prison, and I quickly decided that it would depend largely on what prison he went to.
This is supposed to be a worst case scenario where he ends up in a prison, where he has no friends among the inmates or staff, and is at the mercy of old enemies.]

>It’s a surprisingly common misconception that everyday Danes doesn’t understand English.
That is not a "common misconception".
Are you fucking retarded?

Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily call it that.

I haven't seen this since my DA fujo days, and seeing it again makes me think Tumblr and their ilk would be calling for Humon's blood if she made it recently. It's pretty damn fetishistic.

[Sometimes it's best to just not know. :XD:

I imagine that Niels had no intention of diverting Duncan and Natalie’s attention from the bloody clothes. He was just changing when the song came on, and he felt compelled to dance to it.

I also imagine that Niels will sometimes put on crappy Danish music, much to the annoyance of Duncan because he doesn’t understand a word. But if it’s accompanied by naked dancing it’s tolerable. :D
]

[Seeing as Niels is a bit of a crime lord and part of his business is drugs, you’d think that he tried his own "products" once in a while. But the truth is that he stays as far away as he can from it, because he handles drugs (and even alcohol) very badly.

Duncan and Natalie only realized this when one day Natalie came home and found Niels sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing like a child, while Kiddo sat with his hands over his ears behind the couch in the living room. She tried to ask Niels what was wrong, but it was impossible to get in contact with him.
Only later did they realize that a bottle of illegal drugs disguised as headache tablets had somehow found their way into their bathroom cabinet.

Drugs simply put Niels in contact with his emotions on a level he can’t handle. It doesn’t really matter what you give him, the result will always be tears. It may just be a single tear if the drug is mild, but it can also end as badly as the above-mentioned story.]

>Remember reading this years ago and thinking it was at least interesting
>Reading it now
What did I see in this?

[People suggested that I should show Duncan and Niels working together, and that reminded me that I’ve been wanting to make a comic about how differently they kill.

Niels likes to have his thugs tire his victims up, then taunt them and enjoying the look of horror on their faces as they start to realize that they’re going to die. Then he drags the mental torture out some more before finally just shooting them in the head. It’s not so much the killing itself as messing with people that give him his kicks.

Duncan on the other hand is ridiculously violent and gory. He has been known to just keep beating bodies long after they stopped moving. Nobody knows why he does that because he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he is obviously getting some frustrations out.
Natalie claims that he got more angry and passive aggressive doing his second stay at the prison, but that he got a lot nicer and pleasant to be around when he started working for Niels. Apparently beating the shit out of people with a crowbar is rather therapeutic for Duncan. God only knows why.
]

[How the mind of a homophobe works.

Let’s hope the guy can keep his mouth shut, because if Duncan finds out that this is how he sees him, he will kill him personally. :XD:]

God the way his fucking eyes are shaded in every picture makes it look like they're somewhere between melting off his face or sitting on eye stalks like some kind of Star Wars alien.

Niels has a fetish for blacks. Browns are fine but blacks preferred.

>pier to nowhere

Hetalia knock-off.

All im readin are pees and exdees

>Unfortunately Niels’ habit of seeing sex as the ultimate parental love kicked in
that actually could've been a very interesting plot point. if there was ever an actual plot to begin with, that is

>This whole thing

I need an adult.

Only thing I've heard about this is is fetishizes black people and others in a creepy way...and hey, that seems to have been right!

>More like a 2ccol fantasy than an actual story.
pretty much this. I don't really see it as edgy as these themes are nothing new, just poorly written. egen the race thing, as race does play a part on you're seen in various places

>tfw used to look up to humon-senpai with her superior artwork and mythos knowledge

she should've went with her other style, much more fitting for this at least.

>you guys really think so? Even if it was told properly, it's nnedlessly dark and weirdly fetishistic. More like a 2ccol fantasy than an actual story. Plus a bunch of complicated backstory for each character does not an interesting story make

It's not a story, or a narrative. Authors are more selling a style than a story. And don't forget: In this weightclass you have shit like Oh Joy Sextoy, Moon over June, Assigned Male, Hathor the Cow Goddess, and I'd also count fansadox shit as well.

[The last thing their victims see. So who would you rather meet in a dark ally? Duncan will give you a quick but bloody death, while Niels will torture you mentally for hours until you look like this humon.deviantart.com/art/quot-Please-don-t-cry-quot-142297867 before he gives you a quick bullet to the head.

As you can see I was playing around with a different style of colouring. I really like how Duncan turned out.]

...

sspeaking of Bond

[I was asked how Niels and Co. would react to a James Bond type agent, and I just had to draw it.

I never really cared much for James Bond, but I liked him even less after reading one of the books.
He was so ridiculously snobbish in a way that might have been charming if he had been a bad guy, but it most certainly did not fit a hero whom we are supposed to cheer for.

So I gave Agent 300 a Niels vibe to him on purpose, and yes it’s symbolic that he and Niels apparently wear the same size clothes. Ironically I ended up liking Agent 300, so he might pop up again sometime. :D]

[Thomas no longer wants to chase anyone. He just want to be left alone.
Niels chase Thomas for fun and the hell of it.
Agent 300 chase Niels to satisfy his own ego.
Peter chase anyone and is happy with whatever he catches, as long as it doesn't want to have sex with him.

Agent 300 was really starting to bug me, because he was just supposed to be a one time joke, but he kept forcing his way back into my mind, so I started making up this story about his never ending quest to catch Niels and seduce Natalie and bone her. Whichever happens first doesn't matter to him.
He'll still just be a comical character though. I don't plan on using him for anything serious.]

[I wasn’t going to post anything today, but then I fell asleep on the sofa and had a dream where Niels and Agent 300 was standing at the edge of a building. They looked like they were about to hug/kiss, but in the dream I knew it wasn’t going to happen, and that their real intention was to distract each other and see who pushed whom off the building first.

It was so symbolic of how I imagine their relationship that I had to draw it.

Niels is always flirting with people, even when he doesn’t mean to, and with Agent 300 he has finally found someone who is willing to play that game. He tried for years to get Thomas to play along, but all attempt at flirting was completely ignored.
Agent 300 is a womaniser, so he is not used to flirting with men like this, but he is not only a charming fellow but also a sneaky bastard who has figured out that it’s a wonderful tool for distraction Niels, so why not use it?

It all started when Niels was trying to mess with Agent 300 in the hopes of freaking him out, but then 300 flirted back and it just kept going from there.]

[On Fastelavn the children dress up and goes to public parties where they beat a barrel that is hung from a rope with a bat until it breaks. In the old days a live black cat was put in the barrel, and the children would beat it to death when the barrel broke, but these days the barrel is filled with candy and the cat is made of cardboard or simply painted on the wood.
The child who first breaks the barrel becomes the Cat Queen no matter what gender the child is. The child who gets the last plank of the rope becomes the Cat King. They both get little crowns to proudly wear.
The next day they put on their costumes again and goes from door to door with homemade money boxes, asking for money with a song.

And then there are the Fastelavnsris, which are basically primitive whips that the children can use to wake their parents with on Fastelavn morning, but few parents tell their children about that tradition. :XD:]

this is wrong