Character takes a piss

>character takes a piss
>doesn't rinse his dickhead in the sink after

>doesn't use a pocket tissue to dab the tip

>character doesn't take his pants and underwear off to piss and then put on his bathroom pants to catch the inevitable pee dribble and then change back into his regular underwear and pants before leaving the bathroom

>character takes a shit
>doesn't smear it on his face like warpaint
Immersion broken

>doesn't pull back the foreskin surround his head in paper and then roll it back up

>character doesn't piss in the sink while cleaning his dickhead post masturbation
>character doesn't multitask
>character doesn't care about being as efficient as possible with his energy stores
fucking untermensch

>doesn't roll the organ in his handkerchief until dry

>character uses bathroom
>doesn't use toilet to give himself a quick ball bath before sitting down to shit

>character takes a shit
>doesn't freak out when he wipes and sees blood

>character doesn't piss in the sink

>male character urinates at home
>his girlfriend doesn't put her ear to the door to listen for splashing to make sure he pees sitting down so he unfurls his penis into the sink and pees in it to trick her

>character takes a shit
>doesn't crabwalk with his pants down to a bathtube to wash his asshole

>character doesn't get completely naked, socks and all, proceed to take a shit despite having to piss badly, finish taking a shit after 35 minutes, stand up, and piss on shit pile and proceed to wipe and flush twice to prevent a clog

>mfw I realize the character in these threads was me all along

>showering instead of using toilet paper
Another patrician, I see.

don't do this btw

How else are you meant to get clean nigger? Do you want to walk around with piss dick?

>bathtube
>not using a detachable shower head to spray directly onto your asshole on its high pressure setting

>character doesn’t spend twenty minutes after taking a shit to push his hemorrhoid back inside

lost

So a bidet?

I don't have one of those, so I have to use the shower head.

what's that

>guy sits down on the toilet
>doesn't lift up his balls and drags his palm from taint to balls and feel the sweat

>Character is NEET
>Character isn't pissing in the sink

I have a paper towel that I hang next to the sink to wipe off the urine. I change it once it starts to disintegrate.

>character doesn't lie in bed and continually scratch his taint where it's most sweaty to scratch off the dead skin in that area
>character doesn't then sniff all of the dead skin under his fingernails and start licking his fingers sensually to then push into his asshole as he's falling asleep

>character takes a piss
>doesn't shake his dick for 2 straight minutes to get all the piss out and then tucks it back in but ends up pissing his pants anyway

>change it once it starts to disintegrate.
Please that you meant to type before it starts to disintegrate

>character thinks it's NEET
>isn't pissing in bottles

>characters mother has friends over
>doesn't piss out his window so he doesn't have to leave his room

>watching movie
>protagonist doesn't have to shit every 30 minutes

>character goes to bed
>doesnt spend 30 minutes jacking off before dumping a load on his chest and wiping it on the bed slread

>character has troubled homelife
>doesnt piss on stepmoms flowers

>not deliberately jizzing into your belly button and drifting off with a warm pool of cummies on your stomach
Immersion ruined.

>character shits
>doesnt wipe back to front

Real talk why don't urinals have toilet paper near them? Are people fucking serious when they just piss and put their dick away without wiping? It's fucking gross you get drops of it on your underwear.

I feel disgusting as shit whenever I have to use a urinal

Showering after every shit seems very impractical.

>character doesnt time his shits before his showers so he can wash his ass in the shower

r u me?

>character isn't a muslim
>urinals doesn't have a built in bidet
Wew lad

>character uses the sink instead of the shower on low pressure to wash his dick

It is much more hygienic than scrubbing a piece of paper over your ass, trust me. Join the masterrace.

sup me

just use a bidet or one of those toilet shower heads

>toilet shower heads
Are you retarded? It's just a shower head for your shower, dumb fuck.

>No sign of toilet/drainage facilities on Ach-to
>Luke probably washes, pisses and shits in the same water every day

>after taking a shit wash ass in sink with soap
>rub dry with towel after
>every-time taking a piss run hot water over dickhead to maximize bladder evacuation
>this is the ultimate pleb filter

I know this feel. Fucking sucks getting older.

>character takes a shit
>doesn't strip completely nude
>doesn't sit on the toilet for 45 minutes to an hour, clenching and gnashing his teeth, violently shaking, sweating, grunting, and straining until he's red in the face and out of breath, only to force out maybe 5 rabbit pellets before calling it quits and wiping, finding maybe a trace amount of feces and a few flecks of blood on the paper
You'd think that the writers would have shit enough in their lives to at least get this ritual right.

>his dribbles are so weak he can shoot into his belly button

how old are you

london

>not being 200+ lbs and having a mountainous gut
Normies leave.

>not aiming straight up and shooting it, then having it fall with precision in your belly button
pshh

I can't be the only one that puts a piece of paper in his pants after taking a piss to catch the pee dribble r-right...?

>character masturbates and doesnt eat his own cum afterwards to recycle the nutrients

i unironically legit do this,please tell me im not the only one

>third worlders have to scrape cheese curdlings of their cocks daily

>not just wiping your dick with a finger and then washing hands
this is truly the way

Late 20's. Used to never dribble out after peeing. Never. Do it like once a week now.

I've done it sometimes, either out of boredom or because I was somewhere where I didn't have immediate access to toilet paper (like in a stairwell).

>he doesn't store the jizz in a designated bottle for later use as a protein shake

Do you know that scene in Step Brothers?

Astonishing detail user. Are you doing okay?