I'm like 10 years late, I know but

SOMEBODY CALL NINE ONE ONE

IN Elite watched Jen caress Fermi's backplate. He wanted to do the same, but knew he could not. He was simply in the right place at the right time - to watch magic unfold, in front of his very eyes. His erection was coming back, and stronger than ever.

IN Elite watched as the woodscrew lazily rolled his way and come to a stop against his foot. He looked around - first at the engineers, then at Jen. No one had noticed him, or even remembered that he was there. He grinned to himself, carefully bent over, and snatched it up. With no time for him to admire, he hastily stuffed it into the front left pocket of his jacket. The warmth of the screw felt good against his chest. His eyes darted back and forth, making certain that not a soul had witnessed his theft.

The engineers, who had intended to take Fermi back with them, underestimated Jen's passion for the card. Horrified by the sensuality between Jen and Fermi, they quietly left.

"So, Fermi, are you glad that you're finally going to be released soon?"

"I guess so. I'm not sure if I'm ready though," said Fermi feebly. "I consume the power of a 5970, but I can't outperform a 5870!"

Jen looked at Fermi with a smile. "Don't worry! Nobody has to know that. We have time before you launch. While we work on fixing you, we'll make some whitepapers saying you're the toughest graphics card on the block. With better framerates and tessalation than all the other supple young boys. Cream of the crop. And we'll show them some benchmarks showing them you're way hotte-err-FASTER than anything that 'meanie' ATi has."

"Oh...okay!" said Fermi, with his renewed sense of confidence. Jen grinned as his eyes lingered over Fermi's backplate once more.


The full story is actually pretty hard to find these days. I think it actually has 3 acts.

"Whatever gave you those horrible, incredulous thoughts anyways, Fermi?" said Jen, suddenly concerned.

"Oh gee...well...I was just reading Semiacc-".

Jen cut Fermi off. "Charlie Demerjian is a liar and a fraud. Don't worry about him. He'll be taken care of. Now, Fermi, do you want some additional wattage?"

Fermi nodded. "I guess so. All of these cores are making me dizzy..."

"Don't worry. We'll disable some of them." Jen said, reassured Fermi.

Charlie Demerjian sighed. He had always sought the truth, reporting what others were afraid to, taking risks and not giving a damn about what people thought about him. Not catering your news to the companies you report on may not be the most profitable way to run a news site, but it allowed Charlie to sleep easily at night - until recently. NVIDIA had been on the offensive, lawyering up and threatening to sue his advertisers for knowingly promoting a site that had been "printing libel." Advertisers dropped left and right. AMD stepped up their advertising, but Charlie knew that times were tough.

Charlie's computer sounded an alert - new email. Charlie opened his mailbox.

He found a message that claimed to have insider information. He opened the first of several pictures.

Charlie's grin could be viewed from space. Vindication, at last. As he looked at the backplate he laughed, knowing that he finally had the evidence against NVIDIA that he needed.

This shit is fucking priceless

I miss In Elite. And SiliconDoc and mod

The full story can be found here: web.archive.org/web/20100329230705/http://the-glu.com/fermiville3d.htm

I need to go to work.

This is the best fanfiction I have ever read

what the fuck are the contacts at the top of the card for?

That was the best story I've read in a while

SLI? SLI.