/brit/

gf tried to be sexy last night and tried to shave me whilst straddling my lap but she cut my neck to shit and even cut my lip slightly, bled for about an hour

i posted this a while ago. i honestly dont understand why anyone wouldn't have a smartphone. especially if you drive. or even have an email address that you regularly check. i broke down in the middle of nowhere. looked up all my insurance details from my email in my phone, called them, got my breakdown cover number, called them to come get me, told him my exact location on the exact road i was on using google maps. played tetris for 20 minutes, phones a family member in sweden for a chat, for free, while i waited.

>i just don't need one
>i dont like touch screens

utter melts

found a slice of 'za from last night
score

absolute STATE of direland

where is that leg with the new balance shoe coming from?

*Invents robots and AI to do menial tasks*

Actually I won't since I'm honorary white

Irish on the other hand will be beheaded with the same guillotine as pakis

>Irelands muslim population: sub 50000
>britains muslim population: 3 million +

Look out user, he's Irish!

Hey Siri, how can a small majority of a population cause more than 50% of said populations crime?