/brit/

because cagers are selfish bastards

Terrible scramble and should have just pulled guard

err

bellend smells like roysters

best anime fight scenes?

...

>"perfect female form doesn't exi-"

don't EVER correct me again

Howling

As they waited in the queue to collect their food rations, the crowd suddenly started chanting "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn".
-The London Diary, 2023

"The problem is those bloody hoarders & speculators. They cause the shortages", an elderly lady with an "I Jez" sticker explained to me. And it suddenly dawned on me that even though these people were poor by our standards, they had something that people back home lacked: hope. They were happy to accept temporary privations, because they knew that another world was possible, and they had faith in their leader.

"Sorry, we've run out of bread for today", the dispenser said. A few people in the queue grumbled. The others looked at them disapprovingly. Then the crowd started to chant "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" again. Even those who had not received any bread joined in, if with less enthusiasm.

Suddenly an old man shouted: "F***ing commies!", and the crowd fell silent. 2 burly men in Momentum uniforms grabbed him & dragged him away. "What's gonna happen to him?", I asked the lady with the "I Jez" sticker. She shrugged. "They'll probably send him to one of those rehabilitation camps that Minister Milne has opened in the North of Scotland." She looked uncomfortable. "He'll be fine!", she insisted.

On my way home, I stopped at a People's Pub, which used to be a Wetherspoon before the Great Nationalisation.
-"A pint of People's, please." "Sorry mate, no more People's", the barman said. And in a hushed voice, he continued: "Unless you have..."
I quietly slipped him a euro.

All of a sudden, the lights went out. Another power cut. The barman lit a few candles, and the conversations continued. Nobody mentioned it."Mummy, why did the lights go out again?", a little girl asked. The conversations stopped. An awkward, embarrassed silence ensued. The girl's mother glanced around nervously. In a somewhat squeaky voice, she started chanting: "Ooooooh Jeremy Coooorbyn!". We all joined in.